Can't Let Go
by sweeet-as-honey
Summary: Cal helps out at the scene of a crash and finds himself dealing with the aftermath too.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first Casualty story I started writing. It has about 8 chapters already so I thought I'd start posting it. I hope you don't hate it.**

* * *

The taxi driver only just managed to swerve in time. Cal felt the car judder slightly as it stalled, but at least his colleagues wouldn't be performing emergency operations on him because of someone else's imbecility. The other car was going much too fast, windows blaring and one idiot girl standing up with her head through the sunroof, screaming. As they passed, Cal told himself to behave like a professional and not tell the stupid girls what he thought of them, but the taxi driver couldn't help sending a few choice words in their direction.

He heard the car screech around the corner. The taxi driver started up the engine again.

Cal heard a crash.

Several crashes. Louder even than the music had been. He thought he heard screams too, but that might have been his imagination, letting him hear what he expected to hear.

"Stop!" Cal told the taxi driver. "I think there's been an accident."

"Nothing we can do if there is."

"I'm a doctor."

"Okay. It's your money." The taxi driver stopped the car. Cal got out and hurried in the direction of the noise.

He had no trouble in locating the place where the accident had taken place: a whole section of fence was missing where the car had ploughed into it. Down below him, the car turned a final somersault and then was still, resting on its side as the wheels spun uselessly in the air.

Cal felt in his pocket for his phone and spoke a few crisp words into it, explaining the details of the accident and where the victims could be found – all the information he knew the paramedics would need. "I'm going down to see if there's anything I can do to help, but I won't take any risks."

He was lying of course, and he had a feeling the person on the other end of the phone knew it, but she didn't argue. Cal shoved the phone back into his pocket and began to descend the hill. The paramedics, he knew, would reach the site of the crash from a different road, lower down, but Cal knew it would be quicker for him to climb down than to drive round.

It was sleep and slippery: Cal's foot slipped, sending a shower of pebbles down the hill. He grabbed at a stone that he hoped was firmly embedded in the hill. To his relief, it held his weight. But he was not worried for his own safety: more for the unfortunate people in the car below him. Cal didn't think it likely that he would cause an avalanche, but that was an eventuality he hadn't considered.

He'd never been very good with eventualities. Cal tended to act on instinct and think later. It had got him into a lot of trouble over the years.

Having already started the descent, he was reluctant to give up – and only too aware that climbing up would be a lot more difficult. Cal continued his descent, grasping onto any piece of rock, grass or tree that looked reasonably sturdy. Once he misjudged the strength of something and skidded down the hill a few feet but he managed to take hold of a tree root as he fell and stop himself from falling further.

He stayed where he was for a moment or two, waiting for his heart-rate to slow as he assessed the situation. He could see the car, not that far below him, but the only sound he could hear was the music thumping in the car. If the occupants of the car were still screaming, they couldn't be heard.

Cal moved closer and drew in his breath slightly as he realised the girl who had been standing up was still hanging out of the roof of the car. She was still now and her head was hanging at an unnatural angle. Cal knew that might simply mean she was unconscious: heads generally did hang in an unnatural way when there was nothing to support them, but Cal knew it was unlikely the girl had escaped without injury. He couldn't see her face as it was turned away from him, but it wasn't long before he realised that the red streaks in her hair weren't the result of a dodgy dip-dye.

When Cal reached the car he went straight to the girl in the sunroof. Even with his training, he couldn't restrain a gasp as he saw her face. It was a mess of blood and scratches and her nose was bent further to the right than even the most crooked of noses could naturally be. He pressed a finger to her neck and felt a faint fluttering. The girl was in trouble, but she was alive. He gently took her head in his hands, supporting it and, he hoped, preventing further damage.

"Hello? Is there someone there?"

The voice was soft and quivery. Cal bent down, careful not to loosen his hold on the girls' neck, and peered through the sunroof. He saw a pretty girl with brown curly hair and smudged dark eyeliner. She was holding the arm of a recumbent figure seated beside her. Of the driver he could see nothing: the girl he was holding was blocking his view.

Cal spoke calmly. "Hi. My name's Cal. I'm a doctor. I've phoned for an ambulance and it should be here soon, but I'll do whatever I can to make you all more comfortable while we wait. Can you tell me your names?"

"Emma," came the reply. "The girl you're holding is Izzy; the girl I'm sitting on as Georgia and the driver is Andrea. I'm so glad you're here! I can't get to my phone and I didn't know what we were going to do."

Cal heard a slight sob in her voice and made his voice as reassuring as he could. "It's okay. I'm here now and the ambulance is on its way. Are you hurt, Emma?"

"I think they're all really badly hurt," said Emma. "Do you have anything I could use as a bandage? Georgia has thrombocytopenia and her arm is bleeding quite badly in a couple of places. I'm trying to put pressure on it, but I really need something to soak up the blood."

Cal blinked slightly: he didn't usually meet patients who knew the scientific terms. He quickly recovered himself and adjusted his hold on Izzy's head, supporting her as best he could with one hand. "I'll give you my shirt."

"Are you sure? She is bleeding quite a lot. It'll probably be ruined. But that would be such a big help. I tried to take my dress off but I couldn't do it. I couldn't even tear it."

"I don't mind if you ruin it. It's not one of my favourites," admitted Cal as he shrugged out of it. He grimaced. "My brother bought it for me. The guy has no taste. He works at the hospital too so you might get to see what I mean."

"I'm keeping Georgia's arm elevated above her heart," said Emma. "Is that right?"

Cal nodded approvingly and transferred Izzy's neck to his other hand so he could remove his shirt from his other arm. "That's good: that's exactly what you should be doing."

Emma's voice quivered. "I wanted to make a tourniquet, but I don't know how."

"That's okay," said Cal. "You were right not to attempt it if you didn't know how and when to use a tourniquet – and most people wouldn't. Can you lift Georgia's arm so I can see it, please? That's good. No, I don't think we need a tourniquet, but we'll keep an eye on her." He passed the shirt in through the sunroof. "For now, all you need to do is put one piece of shirt over each wound and apply pressure to it with your hands. If the blood soaks through, you put another layer on top." He watched as Emma followed his directions. "That's good. Keep it elevated as you were doing before. You're doing really well, Emma."

Emma gave him a shaky smile and turned to her friends. "Did you hear that? It's going to be okay. There's a doctor here: his name's Cal and he's called for an ambulance and he's going to help us while we wait for it." She turned back to Cal. "I don't know if they can hear me. I think they're all unconscious. But I thought I should keep talking to them. They might be able to hear."

"If they can hear, I'm sure hearing your voice is helping them a lot," said Cal. "Can you tell me what happened?"

A shadow passed over Emma's face. "We're all going out for my birthday, but we got a bit overexcited. Andrea was driving too fast: she always does. And Izzy had been drinking before we started. So she was standing up on her seat with her head through her sunroof. Georgia was trying to calm them down but Izzy was screaming and the music was on really loud and then we hit something. And then we were just falling." She shuddered and her eyes filled with tears.

"It's your birthday?" said Cal, quite dismayed. As if her day wasn't bad enough already.

Emma nodded. "Yes. But it doesn't seem important now."

"Of course not." Cal imagined it was the last thing on her mind. He just hoped the hospital could give her the present she wanted most: three friends in as healthy a condition as anyone could expect. "Do you know if you lost consciousness at all?"

"I don't think so," said Emma. "But it's so hard to be sure. I don't know. People always say things happened so quickly, but it seemed like the car was rolling over and over forever."

"It is often like that," said Cal. "Don't worry: when you all get to the hospital we can probably find out everything we need. We'll look after you all. Okay, I'm just going to take a look at Andrea if I can. I'll have to turn myself round a bit, I think. But if you need anything or you feel worse or you're worried about Georgia, all you have to do is say, okay?"

"Okay," said Emma.

"Good." Cal gave her as reassuring a smile as he could and lifted his head from the sunroof. He held Izzy's head in both hands again as he performed a careful half-turn. Then he lowered his head again and looked into the front passenger seat.

Andrea's head was on the steering wheel but he couldn't see much else. He tapped lightly on the roof of the car above her head and said her name a couple of times but the girl didn't move. He hadn't expected her to: he didn't doubt that Emma had already tried. Cal tried to manoeuvre his head so he could see more, but he couldn't see very much without giving the paramedics another potential whiplash victim. He'd just have to wait until the ambulance arrived.

He heard Emma talking to Georgia. "There, lovely. That should help a bit. I'm sure the ambulance will be here soon. I hope I'm not squashing you. I can't really move because I'm trying to stop the bleeding, and they have rules about not letting car accident victims move till they'd been checked out. But I'm sure the ambulance will be here soon. Just keep hanging on, okay? All of you keep hanging on." Her voice was bright, but when she spoke again, it faltered slightly. "Please keep hanging on. Please."


	2. Chapter 2

**Minnie4114**, thank you for your review. I don't know if it's ever been mentioned on the show, but I can so imagine Cal not thinking much of Ethan's dress sense. I'm really happy you enjoyed it.

**Tanrith Panic**, thank you, it's really kind of you to say that. I hope you enjoy chapter 2.

**GlitterGirl12**, Thank you, I'm happy you like the storyline. I have written a lot of the story already and I don't think I can give Cal a serious injury (maybe I can save that for another story), but I'll try to rough him up a bit just for you!

**CBloom2**, it's set in the present day/future, but to be honest I'm a very new Casualty fan and I haven't seen the episode(s) about the crash yet. I'm really looking forward to watching those episodes though - I think it will be emotional but incredible. Thank you for your review!

* * *

"How are you doing, Emma?" Cal asked quietly as he turned himself around again with due care and attention to Izzy.

"The shirt's helping," said Emma. "She hasn't woken up, but that's not necessarily a bad sign." Her eyes looked at him imploringly. "It's not, is it?"

"No. It's not. But I meant you," said Cal. She was short of breath and her eyes were wet with tears. "Are you in pain?"

"My wrist hurts. And my head," said Emma. "But I had a headache before, to be honest. Andrea always turns the music up way too loud when she's driving and she has no taste." She pressed her eyes tightly shut. "How can I say that when she's so badly hurt? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you," Cal said quickly. "It just shows you're staying really calm which is the best thing for you and your friends. Do you think you could show me your wrist?"

"I'm using it to hold your shirt on Georgia's cut," said Emma.

"It shouldn't take long," said Cal. "Just for a minute or two."

Emma looked stricken. "I don't want to refuse. I know you're a doctor and you know what you're doing. But…"

"But you care about your friend," said Cal. "I get that. But there might be a way of holding your wrist that won't hurt so much. And if it doesn't hurt you, it's going to be better for Georgia."

Emma came to a decision. "Okay. I'll hold it with my foot. Would that be okay?"

Cal tried not to feel intrigued. It really wasn't the time or the place, but the girl was intriguing. "Sure. Give it a try."

She swivelled round slightly and lifted her bare leg up towards Georgia's arm, her dress riding up to reveal still more thigh. Cal heard her breath quickening again and realised his own breath, for a different reason, was doing exactly the same thing. And for the first time he hated himself for it.

The girl had been in a car accident. Her friends were seriously hurt. And he was lusting after her? What was wrong with him?

"It works!" Emma sounded surprised but delighted. "Okay, Georgia? Cal's worried about my wrist so I'm using my foot so I am kind of flashing you, but these are exceptional circumstances so I hope you'll forgive me. Actually, I'd better fold it again. You're soaking through a little bit. Andrea? Izzy? How are you two doing?" She paused as though waiting for an answer. "Hold on for me, okay? The ambulance is coming. They'll help you."

"Yes, I'm sure it'll be here soon," Cal added, feeling almost inadequate. He had a feeling Emma would have managed without him. "That's good, Emma. Can I see your wrist now, please?" Cal managed not to betray his concern: the pallor of her face, as well as the unsteady breath suggested she was in pain. But when he saw her wrist, he couldn't restrain a small gasp. It was swollen and at an odd angle. He shifted Izzy carefully into his right hand and put his left through the sunroof. "Do you mind if I have a closer look, Emma? Thank you." Cal held it very gently, but he didn't miss the way Emma bit her lip as her eyes flooded with tears of pain.

"I'm okay," she said quickly. "I'm just being stupid. Making a fuss about nothing."

"It's hardly nothing," said Cal. "And you're doing brilliantly. Okay, Emma, it looks like it's broken, but we can fix that up for you at the hospital."

He made a move to take his shirt off, only to remember he'd already removed it. For a moment he lost the thread of what he was saying, struck by the notion that he was half-naked in front of Emma, but he knew he was being stupid. It wasn't as though he'd never been half-naked in front of a girl before. His eyes were drawn to Emma again. She looked beautiful.

He hated himself all over again. He'd always had an eye for the ladies, but this just wasn't the time or the place.

"Cal? Are you okay?" Emma's eyes were wide.

"I'm fine, Emma. I was just thinking. Could you hook your bad wrist inside your dress? It won't hurt so much if it's supported."

He did his best not to look too closely as Emma slipped her hand inside the bodice, but he saw enough to realise she wasn't wearing a bra. Cal realised he wasn't doing a very good job of not looking closely and he focused his attention on Izzy instead. Izzy was actually wearing a lot less than Emma: her top was little more than a bikini top, but she didn't interest Cal at all.

Perhaps it was because she didn't look alive. He knew she was alive, just about. He could feel the pulse in her neck. But she looked more like a puppet than a human being.

Then Emma spoke again. "I'm so glad you're here, Cal." Her voice was shaking.

"I'm glad too," said Cal. He wondered for a horrible moment what would have happened if he hadn't heard the car go down the hill. He didn't usually travel this way to work, but he hadn't been home last night. It was the first time he'd spent the night at that particular flat (and the last, unless the girl was playing _really_ hard to get). Emma and her friends could easily have been waiting there for hours.

"You won't leave, will you?" said Emma.

"I'm not going anywhere till the paramedics arrive," promised Cal. "Then I'll stay and help them if they need me. And I'm sure you'll see me again at the hospital. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Emma smiled faintly. "Is there anything else you need to know?"

"Nothing. You've done really well." Cal smiled at her. "Is there anyone I can call for you?"

Emma shook her head. "Everyone I'd want to call is here in this car with me."

Cal's chest tightened. He knew it was likely that Emma's friends would remain in hospital for a while and he didn't like to think of her dealing with it on her own. "What about your family?"

"I don't want them to know."

Cal nodded. "I understand that you don't want to worry them, but they'll have to know eventually."

He saw Emma tense and then gasp slightly with pain. It might have been the pain that turned her words almost to a shout. "I'm an adult, Cal. Why does being on the same family tree as me give them the right to know everything about me?"

Cal stared at her. He could understand the feeling only too well, but Emma seemed so caring. Loving, even. The kind of girl who'd be close to her family. "It's okay. I know families can be very difficult. Even impossible. You don't have to contact them if you don't want to."

"But I could tell you how to contact my friends' families," offered Emma. Her voice swelled with emotion as she turned away from Cal to address her friends. "I know you don't want me to worry them, but they do have to know. They'll want to be there. They'll want to look after you."

"Yes. They will. And so will the paramedics and my colleagues at the hospital," said Cal. "Emma, I think you're a really great friend, but maybe you should take a few minutes for yourself. Close your eyes; don't try to speak. I'm not going anywhere."

Emma shook her head. "I've got to do something. If I don't I'll fall apart completely and then I'll be no help."

"It's okay to fall apart," said Cal. "I'm right here. You've already helped me and you've helped your friends. You've been great."

"No. I don't want to… think," said Emma. "If I think too deeply about what happened… the hospital are going to need details of all of us, aren't they?"

Cal spoke guardedly. "Yes, but we don't need to do that now."

"I want to," said Emma. "That will save time later. I'll give you our names, addresses, next of kin, medical details and anything else you need to know."

"Okay. I won't be able to make a note of it, but you can tell me if that will take your mind off everything. But don't forget you've been an accident too. If you need to stop, just stop. Anything you can tell us now is a bonus."

Emma spoke to the others again. "I'm just going to give Cal all your details. So you won't have to worry. It's going to be okay. The ambulance will be here soon – well, it might actually be ambulances, plural – and they'll look after you. Cal's being really amazing. That's his shirt I'm holding over your cuts, Georgia. To be honest, Izzy, it might be quite a good thing if you're unconscious, considering your usual reaction to guys without their shirts on. Though he's more your type actually, Andrea. He's got a dancer's physique."

Usually, Cal liked to hear girls praising his physical appearance, but this time for some reason he felt sad. Emma was chatting away as though nothing had happened, and yet he knew she was so completely, painfully aware of the situation. He'd seen the pain and fear deep in her eyes and not just physical pain: a sharp, searing emotional pain that showed she understood everything Cal's training wouldn't allow him to put into words.

Cal wished he could tell her that everything would be all right. He knew there was a very good chance all four girls would make a full recovery. Perhaps some of them would even be released after twenty-four hours of observation. But he could make no promises and he wasn't going to try just so Emma would look a bit less worried.

He wanted to promise. He desperately wanted to say all the things that would comfort and reassure her and more than once, they'd been on the tip of his tongue. But he knew that would be unfair. It would only make it worse in the long run if something did happen and besides, 'okay' was always a relative term. He believed that the girls would be okay in the sense that they would survive but he knew that both physical and psychological damage could continue to be a problem for the rest of their lives.

It was a horrible thought. It was one Cal could usually deal with because it was part of his job but every so often, a case did get to him. He couldn't always predict what it could be. Usually, he hid his feelings under his professionalism, but just sometimes, a patient broke through the walls. That was what was happening now. He didn't want Emma to suffer like this. He didn't want it to happen to everyone, but especially not to Emma, who had no-one else in the world but the three girls in the car with her. Not forgetting that it was her _birthday_.

"Cal?" said Emma. "Are you okay?"

Cal realised he'd been staring blankly in front of him. "Yes. I was just…" He stopped. "I think I can hear the sirens." He lifted his head. "Yes. I can. Not long to go now. How's Georgia?"

"Still bleeding," said Emma. "Do you think we need to do a tourniquet?"

Cal had a look. ""We'll wait for the ambulance. They're so nearly here now. I'm sure you'd do a great job, but the paramedics can get so fussy about doctors trying to do their job for them. They'll look after you now."


	3. Chapter 3

**Minnie4114**, I don't know anything about fanfiction etiquette, I just know I'm grateful for all your reviews! Ethan will feature in this story quite a lot, but he doesn't appear till Chapter 4. Haha I agree Cal spends far too much time with his top on. It might not help with pulse rate and blood pressure but I'm sure it would cheer the patients up no end. Thanks for the review!

* * *

Emma was shaking as she lay on the bench in one of the ambulances. She'd been fitted with a collar before she'd been taken out of the car and her wrist was supported with a splint Cal had put on himself. He doubted she was very comfortable, but she insisted she'd prefer the bench as that would enable one of her friends to lie on the stretcher.

Cal wasn't very comfortable either. Now the initial rush of adrenaline was beginning to fade, he realised he hadn't made his descent down the hill unscathed . His ankle was throbbing and it had needed all his concentration not to betray any signs of pain as he'd helped Emma into the ambulance. He'd also had to be very careful when tending Emma's injuries because of cuts to his hands.

But in comparison with Emma and her friends, he had nothing to complain about so he did his best to ignore the pain and get on with his job.

"Okay, I'm going to examine you and take a few readings and then, if you feel able to, you can give me all the details you were telling me about," he said. "That was smart work letting Dixie know Andrea is allergic to ibuprofen: that's a painkiller we use quite a lot." If Andrea needed pain relief, Cal suspected it was more likely to be morphine, but there was no need to go into that. He just wanted to distract Emma from what the paramedics were doing.

He discovered Emma was slightly tachycardic, which was worrying, but perhaps not surprising given the accident and her anxiety about her friends. Cal suspected his own pulse rate was quite high as well, for different reasons, but fortunately no-one was likely to discover that.

Cal finished his examination. "You're showing understandable signs of shock and we'll need to examine you more closely once we reach the hospital, but the signs are good so far."

"What about my friends?"

Cal took a quick glance over his shoulder, but he could see nothing. "How about you give me all the details about your friends now I can write it down?" Luckily there were some forms in the ambulance and he was able to reach them without putting any weight on his ankle. "Okay, what's Georgia's last name?"

Emma reeled off the details quickly and authoritatively, only pausing uncertainly when it came to naming her own next of kin. When pressed, she gave Georgia's name. Cal hesitated and wrote it on the form.

"That's great, Emma. Thanks for your help." Cal decided he'd better take the forms to Dixie, which would usually have been a simple job, but wasn't so easy with an injured ankle. He gritted his teeth against the pain as he stepped down from the ambulance and tried his hardest not to limp as he walked over to Dixie.

Dixie was standing beside Izzy, who was now lying on a stretcher. She looked up at Cal and shook her head.

"What?" Cal realised his voice was too loud and dropped his voice to a whisper. "You don't mean… you can't mean…" He turned sharply as another stretcher went past him. He thought the girl on it was Georgia. "Is she…"

"She's alive. We need to take her in the ambulance now. We'll take Emma too. Do you need a lift, Cal?"

Cal was about to say he had a taxi waiting up the hill, but he realised he wouldn't be able to climb up there and he doubted he could walk round the long way either. "Thanks, that would be good. And I'll keep an eye on Emma for you." He limped back to the ambulance and told Emma that she and Georgia would be off to hospital shortly.

"How is she?" asked Emma anxiously. "How are all of them?"

Cal put his hand on her shoulder and pushed the image of Izzy on the stretcher firmly out of her mind. "They're just getting Andrea out now. Izzy and Georgia are on stretchers ready for hospital. They're in good hands and you will be too."

"Will you stay with me?" said Emma desperately. "I don't know the paramedics and I'm scared, Cal."

"Yes, Dixie's already said I can come in the ambulance." When he got a spare minute, he'd phone the taxi firm and tell them to go to the hospital to collect what he owed, but he had other concerns now.

* * *

The journey was long, slow and bumpy. At least that was how it seemed to Cal and it must be much worse for Emma. He had instructed her not to move but she kept on trying to turn her head, though her movement was restricted by the collar. Cal himself sat on the bench, his thigh very close to Emma's head.

Cal could tell the paramedics were worried, but he did his best to keep Emma's attention on him. Keeping a woman's attention wasn't usually something he struggled with, but this time it was different. This wasn't about his own gratification. He just wanted to spare her as much as possible.

Throughout the journey he spoke to her, asking random questions about her and her friends under a pretence that they might be useful to him at the hospital. He was sure Emma knew he was distracting her, but she answered his questions politely, only occasionally breaking out into a panic which he was quick to calm.

"As you were all going out to celebrate your birthday, I'm assuming there's no need to inform your places of work," said Cal. "But we're likely to recommend that you don't go back tomorrow so if you need any help with that…"

Emma shook her head. "That's kind of you, but there's no-one to tell. We're all in business together and it's just the four of us."

"What do you do?" Cal asked, genuinely interested. He often did find out his patients' jobs and although he kept his guesses to himself, he flattered himself he was becoming quite good at it. As Emma was dressed for a day out, it was difficult to tell. Maybe she was a fashion designer or a specialist hairdresser.

"We're party planners," said Emma. "We do all kinds of parties: children's parties, wedding receptions, baby showers. We plan games to suit the occasion and the people involved, but we also provide the entertainment. We all have some training in music, dance and drama. Some assignments are too big for us to take on, in which case we recommend a suitable alternative. If they want a five-piece jazz band, we can't do it, though some people are prepared to accept a four-piece band playing jazz, which we can do. But our prices are competitive and our standards are high so we do pretty well."

Cal felt a flash of pain that didn't come from his ankle. Sooner rather than later, he would have to explain to Emma that none of them were likely to be able to work for a while, but he told himself he couldn't possibly break the news until he had some sort of time frame. It was too soon to be sure of anything, but he knew even Emma, the least seriously hurt of the three, probably wouldn't be dancing or playing an instrument for a few weeks.

"I should probably speak to our clients soon, though," said Emma, her lovely face not exactly marred by a frown. "I'll probably be on my own for the next few days and even after that I might be the only full-time worker. So maybe I should contact our clients and give them the opportunity to find someone else as soon as possible. We'll lose the money of course, but the important thing is that they're able to have their party."

Cal spoke gently. "Maybe you should wait till tomorrow, Emma. You and your friends will have to undergo lots of tests. Until we have the results we can't be sure of anything."

To his relief Emma was nodding. "Yes, you're right. Of course you're right. One more day shouldn't make any difference and it will be much better to give the full details tomorrow than to risk confusing people by telling them what might happen."

"And don't forget you won't have to do everything on your own," said Cal. "The staff at the hospital are here to help as much as we can while we're here and once you're discharged, we'll be able to put you in charge of other organisations that can support you. We might not be able to form a jazz band, but we'll do whatever we can."

"Thank you, Cal," said Emma. "I do appreciate how helpful you're being. I don't suppose there's any way of finding out how Izzy and Andrea are?"

"We're not in contact with them," said Cal. "But we're all going to the same place. So we'll find out soon."

Emma looked at him through tear-filled eyes. "Will you come and tell me how they are?"

Cal felt emotion building up inside him but he controlled it. Dixie's shake of the head, after all, might not mean what he'd assumed. She might have been warning him to keep his distance and not interfere. Or perhaps just saying Izzy wasn't in a good way, which he'd seen for himself. "Of course I will."

"Promise?" Emma said softly as the ambulance drew into the hospital grounds.

Cal put his hand on her arm. "I promise, Emma. I'll come and find you. I don't know how long it will take me: I'll probably be put to work as soon as I arrive and I don't know when I'll get the chance to come and see you, but I will, Emma. I promise you that."

He increased the pressure of his hand on her arm and she looked at him, her eyes full of gratitude.

* * *

If Lily was surprised to see Cal arrive in the ED dirty and shirtless, she hid it well. Emma was now lying on a stretcher that had been brought out from the hospital. Cal was helping to push it because someone had to, though he was feeling faint and sick from the pain in his ankle and it was all he could do to walk normally so he wouldn't jolt Emma.

"Lily, this is Emma Silver," said Cal. "She's been in a car accident and she's suffered a suspected distal radius fracture and possible neck trauma."

Lily listened in silence as he gave the details of Emma's vital signs, doing his best to keep his voice even and free of any sign of pain, but he might have known he wasn't likely to fool Lily. Once Emma had been deposited safely on the bed, she turned to him and said: "Thank you, Cal. Now go and clean yourself up and get your hands and your ankle seen to."

"I'm fine," said Cal. "I'll stay and help with Emma."

"No. I don't require your help and in any case, I refuse to work with a doctor who is bleeding and improperly attired," said Lily. "Are you going to leave now or do I have to find a wheelchair and wheel you out myself?"

Cal gave a rueful smile and bent down to pat Emma on the shoulder.

"No, Cal, don't touch her!" said Lily.

Cal touched her with one finger instead. "Emma, I've got to go now, but I'll come back and see you as soon as I know how your friends are, okay? And don't worry. You're in very good hands."


	4. Chapter 4

**ETWentHome** thank you so much! You're always so lovely. Ethan is in this chapter and there's quite a lot about Cal's injury so I hope you enjoy it.

**Minnie4114**, if Lily wasn't secretly enjoying it, there's probably something wrong with her! Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

**Julia**, I'm so happy you're enjoying it. Thank you for your review and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

**Tanrith Panic**, thank you for telling me about Swan Lake, it sounds brilliant! I love ballet (I used to be a dancer till I got injured) and I love Richard shirtless so it sounds like I'm in for a treat there! I really appreciate the review too - thank you.

**GlitterGirl12**, Sorry, I did try to update it last night, but I rewrote it quite a bit and still wasn't happy. I hope it was worth the wait, I'm still not sure!

* * *

Cal intended to go to Resus to ask about Emma's friends, but his ankle was so painful, he had to stop and lean against the wall. He closed his eyes for a moment, waiting for the throbbing to subside. He knew he would need medical attention eventually, but he wanted to keep his promise to Emma first.

Cal heard someone clearing his throat and opened his eyes to find his brother standing in front of him.

Ethan was looking distinctly unimpressed. "I admit it's not possible for you to sink any lower in my estimation, Dr Knight, but that kind of work attire seems a bit much even for you. How much did you have to drink last night?"

Cal considered punching him, but he didn't really feel strong enough. "There was a car accident up on the hill," he said, his voice faint. "I was nearby and I helped out. My shirt was used as a bandage. And I haven't had anything to drink, though I do feel like I could do with one."

Ethan's face changed as he looked more closely at Cal. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. You look awful." He looked Cal up and down, more concerned by the second. "You're hurt."

"No, I'm not," said Cal.

"You're bleeding on the wall."

Cal realised he was right and took his hand away. "I climbed down the hill to get to the car. It was almost a sheer drop. I must have cut my hands then, but I didn't realise."

Ethan put his hand on Cal's arm. "You'd better come with me and get them looked at."

"No, Ethan, not now. I promised one of the passengers I'd find out how her friends were." Cal felt himself beginning to shake and reached out for the wall again.

Ethan caught hold of his arm, supporting him. "You can do that later. Do you think you can walk?"

"Yes," said Cal, but it didn't take Ethan long to realise he was limping.

He looked around for a porter. "Can we have a wheelchair, please? Thank you. Sit down, Cal, and I'll take you to cubicles."

"I don't need a wheelchair," Cal said with his eyes closed. "And I don't need to go to cubicles. I'll see to it myself after I've seen Emma's friends."

"You won't be allowed to see anyone in that state," said Ethan. "Either you come with me now and let me treat you or you can go and wait your turn in the waiting room. I believe the waiting time for these kinds of injuries is about… four hours."

Cal knew he was beaten and the fact it was by his brother didn't make him feel any better. But Ethan was right. He was bleeding and dirty: hardly an advertisement for a healthy, hygienic hospital.

Ethan showed him into an empty cubicle and made a quick examination. "The cuts are superficial, but I'll need to clean them up and dress them so they don't open up again. Your ankle is quite badly swollen, but I imagine it's just a sprain. I'll give you something for the pain and for the shock, but you'll need to stay off it as much as possible."

Cal looked resentfully up at Ethan. "I bet you're enjoying this so much."

"Not particularly," said Ethan. "I would actually rather help someone who appreciates what I'm trying to do." He let go of Cal's ankle. "You know: there are probably a lot of people who need me more than you do so maybe I should go and see to them."

"I never said I don't appreciate it," said Cal quickly. He was grateful not to be stuck in the waiting room, at any rate.

Ethan looked unconvinced, but he seemed to realise this was the best he was going to get, and set to work on Cal's injuries. He gave Cal the painkilling injection first, then he cleaned Cal's hands carefully and put iodine on the cuts. It stung and despite his best efforts, Cal was unable to stop himself from gasping in pain.

He was even more annoyed when he saw the look on Ethan's face. "What are you grinning about?"

"Nothing really. I'm just thinking about all the times you did this for me," Ethan said as he cut some strips of plaster to the right size.

Cal smiled too at the memory. Ethan had been quite clumsy as a child and Cal had patched him up on numerous occasions. He'd liked the feeling of looking after his brother and being responsible for him. He'd got into the habit of giving Ethan a cuddle and a chocolate biscuit for being brave.

Later on, when they were older, Ethan had tended to Cal's injuries too. Cal was usually too drunk to remember the cause of them, but even when he did remember, he never told Ethan. Ethan had sometimes tried to give him a cuddle, which Cal usually rejected unless he was in the stage of drunkenness where he wanted to hug everybody, but he didn't remember ever getting a chocolate biscuit. He doubted he'd be getting one today either.

"Now I'll see to your ankle," said Ethan. He took his time about getting Cal's shoe off which didn't suit Cal at all.

"Can't you hurry up a bit?" he said irritably.

"Yes, but it'll hurt more," Ethan warned him.

Cal didn't really like the idea of it hurting more, but he told Ethan to go ahead. It was terrible and he couldn't help but cry out a couple of times, but eventually his shoe and sock were off. Ethan put a tubular bandage over a wire cage and guided Cal's ankle into the cage. After giving Cal a moment to catch his breath, he removed the cage carefully, leaving the bandage in place to support the swollen ankle. "Okay, can I go now?" said Cal.

Ethan looked amused. "Not quite yet. You need to comb your hair and wash your face and put a top on. And your trousers are a bit torn, but nowhere embarrassing. They'll do till you get home."

Cal sighed as he examined his trousers. Whilst he might be an expert in stitching up a patient, the same did not to apply to his own garments. This meant he'd have to replace them, which wasn't ideal considering how many times over the last few days Ethan had reminded him that Cal's contribution to the household bills was two weeks overdue. Not forgetting that he needed to get some money for the taxi from somewhere.

Ethan helped Cal into the loos so he could tidy himself up. "Have you got everything you need? Okay, I'll go and see if I can find you something to wear." He paused. "I can ask after Emma's friends for you too, if you'd like me to. Save you the trouble of hopping all the way round the hospital."

The offer was unexpected and Cal wondered for a scary moment if Ethan knew something he didn't, but Ethan was a terrible liar and the concern on his face was easily attributable to Cal's injuries. "Okay. Thanks. If you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind," said Ethan. He looked a bit surprised by Cal's unusually appreciative reaction and seemed about to say something else, but then he changed his mind and left.

Cal examined himself in the mirror and realised Ethan hadn't exaggerated: he really was a bit of a mess. He wouldn't have thought it was possible for so much dirt to attach itself to his face. He must have touched it with his hands without realising.

He turned the taps on and stuck his face under it, hoping the cold water would eliminate the slight feeling of shakiness as well as the dirt and grime. It seemed to help a bit. He certainly looked better once his face was clean and his hair had been combed and ruffled it into his attractively messy style. Once Cal was finally up to his own high standards of personal appearance, there was still no sign of Ethan so he quickly phoned the taxi company, explained what had happened, and invited them to come to the ED to collect the fare at their earliest convenience.

Ethan still wasn't back and the painkillers were beginning to work, so Cal walked gingerly out into the corridor. He turned towards Resus, but almost immediately, he heard someone calling his name.

"Caleb, what are you doing?" Ethan sounded alarmed. "You shouldn't be walking around." He started to help Cal back to the loos. "I've got you something to wear. You can change in there. I'll wait for you."

"Did you find anything out?" said Cal. "About Emma's friends?"

"Go and get changed," said Ethan, almost pushing him through the door. When Cal re-emerged, he asked again, but Ethan took Cal's arm and helped him along the corridor. "Let's get you into to the staff room first. You need to rest your ankle as much as possible. I tried to get you some crutches, but they wouldn't let me because I hadn't got the paperwork."

"That's not usually a problem for me," said Cal.

"But I'm not you, am I?" said Ethan simply as they entered the staff room.

He helped Cal to sit down and put his foot up on a chair, trying to find a position where it didn't cause Cal quite so much pain. His solicitousness was starting to make Cal nervous. "Just tell me, Ethan. What did you find out about Emma's friends?"

Ethan hesitated. "Do you know Emma and her friends, Cal?"

"No, I just met them today," said Cal. "I mean, I didn't get to see Andrea's face, so it's possible I have met her, but I can't really say I _know_ any of them." His panic rose. "Why? What does that have to do with anything?"

Again there was a pause before Ethan answered. "Georgia's being treated now in Resus. She's critical, but they expect her to pull through." He paused, his eyes concerned behind his glasses.

"And the others?" Cal rapped out.

Ethan's voice was gentle. "Unfortunately, the other two didn't make it. Isobel was pronounced dead at the scene and they lost Andrea on the way to the hospital. Isobel had a broken neck and Andrea suffered lacerations to her skull. I'm sorry, Cal."

This wasn't the first time Cal had been told one of his patients had died. It was always upsetting, but his reaction still surprised him. The room swam, he started to shake, and he was actually grateful when Ethan put a firm arm around him. "Have they told Emma?" Cal asked, his voice trembling.

"Not yet," said Ethan. "She's having an x-ray on her wrist. I suppose someone will tell her when she gets back." His voice was calm, but Cal could tell he was worried.

"I'll tell her," said Cal, trying to get up, but Ethan held him firmly.

"Wait a minute, Cal. She's probably not back from x-ray yet. Take some deep breaths."

"I don't need to-" Cal began, but he stopped as Ethan's pager sounded.

"I've got to go," said Ethan. "Stay there. Don't move."

He dashed out of the room. Cal went after him, barely feeling the pain in his ankle. There was no way he could have known which patient needed Ethan, but there was a heavy feeling in his heart. He burst into the room to see Ethan and Zoe leaning over a patient. "…she's suffering internal bleeding," Zoe was telling Ethan. "She suffers from-"

"-thrombocytopenia," Cal said at the same time as she did. He felt himself freeze, just for a moment, as he realised what could be about to happen.

"Caleb, go back to the staff room," Ethan said sharply, but Cal's professional instincts had taken over by then. He joined Ethan and Zoe as all three of them fought to save the life of the girl in the bed.

Zoe continued to give orders, her voice crisp and clear. Cal and Ethan did everything she said without so much as a glare in the other's direction, but Cal was painfully aware that Georgia's vital signs were dropping. He tried to work faster but Zoe's voice stopped him: "Slow down, Cal. That won't improve her chances. Okay: we'll try one more time."

The attempt was over all too soon. "No, we can't give up!" said Cal. "I'm sure she responded a little bit last time. Let's try again."

"No," Zoe said quietly. "I don't think there's anything more we can do. Are we all agreed?"

Cal shook his head wordlessly, but he knew Zoe was right. He just didn't want to believe it. He couldn't. "No, we've got to try again."

"There's no point, Cal." Zoe's voice was gentle "The internal bleed was too severe. She's gone."


	5. Chapter 5

**ETWentHome**, thank you for the review, I'm so happy you liked Ethan treating Cal. Thank you to **Glittergirl12** for giving me the idea of injuring him! It really improved the story a lot. You'll find out in this chapter if Cal is strong enough - he fascinates me as a character because he gives the impression of being very strong, but he's often the one who falls apart.

**Minnie4114**, I'm glad you like the part about Cal remembering looking after Ethan. I really love it when other people write about that so I'm glad I had the chance to include it, even just as a memory. Maybe killing off three friends was a bit much - I wanted there to be enough of them to make it convincing that they were everything to Emma, but maybe two would have done it!

**Tanith Panic**, thank you so much! That really means a lot, especially as I felt it might be a bit slow.

* * *

Cal bent over Georgia and began CPR, ignoring Zoe's command to stop. Ethan caught his hands and pulled him away. "No, Cal. You heard what Zoe said. There's nothing we can do."

Cal's eyes filled with tears. "But we can't… we can't just let her die."

Ethan's voice was gentle. "She already has, Cal."

"But… but her other friends have died too," said Cal brokenly. "It's only Emma left. Georgia was her next of kin. How can I go in there and tell her that?" He tore his hands from Ethan's grasp and swiped at his eyes.

Ethan put his hand on Cal's back. "I'll tell her."

"No, I will. I promised." Cal squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from escaping. "I can do it, Ethan. I can do it."

Zoe came over to them. "Take some time for yourself, Cal, okay? Ethan told me you're injured so you're on a reduced workload for today. Stay with him, Ethan. I'll let you decide together if it's the right time to tell Emma."

Cal opened his eyes to see her bending over Georgia's body and quickly moved away. It was a sight he'd seen before, of course, but it was different when he'd been there with them and he'd tried to help – and failed. He'd held Izzy's neck and tried to keep Emma's spirits up – all for nothing.

He felt Ethan's hand on his shoulder and shook it off angrily. He didn't want Ethan's comfort. He wouldn't have wanted it under any circumstances, but however devastated he was feeling, it was nothing in comparison with what Emma would feel. He stood and stared at the wall, trying to breathe; trying to calm himself.

He turned slowly to see Ethan's concerned face. "Cal, why don't you go and get a cup of tea. I've got this. You're too involved."

"What, do you think I can't handle it?" Cal said furiously. He took another deep breath and wiped his hands across his eyes and nose. "I'm okay. I can do this."

Ethan still looked doubtful but he nodded. "Give it five minutes and I'll show you where she is."

"I don't need five minutes!" Cal limped out of the room and down the corridor. It didn't take Ethan long to catch him up.

"Cal, listen to me," said Ethan. "Emma's probably not back from x-ray yet. At least go and sit down for five minutes and have a drink of water. You won't be doing Emma any good if you let her see you in this state."

Cal felt his anger drain away. So many of his conversations with Ethan turned into an argument and it had never seemed more pointless. They said nothing on the way to the staff room: Cal was desperately trying to work out how to achieve the impossible task of breaking the news whilst giving the least amount of pain. Ethan probably knew there was nothing he could say; either that or he knew that Cal would likely tear his head off if he so much as opened his mouth.

Once the five minutes were over, Ethan helped him to Emma's cubicle.

"Here you are," said Ethan. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" said Cal aggressively. "I've got to do this. I promised."

Ethan gave a reluctant nod. "I'll leave you to it then."

Cal pushed the curtain aside and looked at the girl sitting on the bed. Her arm was now in a sling, though her wrist wasn't in plaster yet, and she'd evidently been crying. Yet the expression on her face as she regarded Cal was not so much hope as concern.

"Cal, are you okay?" she asked. "I mean Dr Knight. Has something happened? I didn't get you into trouble about your shirt, did I?"

The fact that she'd worry about him nearly caused Cal to lose control altogether, but he recovered himself, though he could barely speak. "Don't worry about the shirt. It's fine."

"You've been crying," said Emma, concerned. "Is it one of your patients?" She reached for his hand and held it.

Cal felt even worse. Her friends had died and she was comforting _him_? "Emma…" How could he begin? What could be possibly say? He'd done this before, of course. He knew what to do. But the words wouldn't come.

But as Emma looked into his face, her own changed. The hand holding his trembled and pallor suffused her face. "It's one of my friends, isn't it? Has she… has she…. Oh God, she's dead, isn't she? One of my friends is…"

"Emma." Cal caught her hand in both of his own, trying to give her some of his strength, despite his feeling that he had none of his own. "Emma, I… I'm so sorry."

"Was it Izzy? She didn't look good but I never thought…"

"I…" How could he say it? How could anyone say it? Cal was sure that even the most experienced doctors would struggle with this.

Emma's trembling redoubled. The monitor beside her began to flash as her heartbeat increased. "It's not just Izzy, is it? Answer me, Cal! How many of my friends are… are…"

"I'm so sorry, Emma," Cal said wretchedly. "Their injuries were so severe. There was nothing we could do."

"You… you mean…" Emma's heartbeat was off the scale by now. "You mean they've all gone, Cal? I've lost all my friends?"

Her voice rose and Cal made automatic soothing noises, but he knew he couldn't make her feel better. Not this time. "I'm sorry, Emma. Their injuries were too severe. I'm so sorry."

She'd been on the point of hysteria, but at his words she became very still. Her face was frozen. Her heartbeat began to drop; the hand clinging almost painfully to his relaxed. She stared out in front of her, her expression blank now.

Cal stroked her suddenly-cold hand, trying to coax life back into it as he'd been unable to do for her friends. The silence stretched; he couldn't bring himself to break it. There was nothing more he could say. Even if there was, she might not hear him. Not now.

Then slowly, her face crumpled. Her mouth quivered; her brows drew together and her eyes flooded with tears. Slowly, they trickled down her cheeks but still she made no sound. Her lips parted in a silent cry of anguish. Cal put his hand on her shoulder and she almost fell against him, into his arms. Cal held her as she cried, still silently. Her good arm went around his waist and she clung to him as though he could save her. Cal's own eyes were wet, but he didn't let the tears fall. He had no reason to cry. Not in comparison with Emma.

She was in his arms for what felt like a long time and Cal did feel the urge to kiss her. But not in the usual way. He only wanted to kiss her hair. He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to take Emma's pain away but even with his medical degree and his expertise and his (yes, maybe this was arrogant) his charm, he could do nothing. Nothing at all.

When he felt Emma move, he loosened his hold so she could sit up. She looked up at him, her eyes swollen and red, the tears still shining on her cheeks. Cal didn't let go of her. He didn't want to let go of her because he didn't know when she'd experience human contact again.

"Was it my fault?" she whispered as she looked up at Cal.

"No! Of course not!" said Cal at once. He knew he couldn't be sure but seemed far more likely to him that it was a combination of Andrea's driving and Izzy's messing about.

But he would never say that to Emma.

"If I'd been able to reach my phone," said Emma desperately, "would that have helped?"

"I don't think it would have made any difference at all," said Cal. "It didn't take me that long to climb down and I was able to give medical details you wouldn't have known."

"But it didn't help in the end," said Emma. She touched his hand. "Not that I'm blaming you."

"It's okay," said Cal. "I wouldn't mind if you blamed me." He almost wished she would. She was still comforting him and she was the one whose word had fallen apart.

Emma closed her eyes. "Cal, why am I so tired?" Her voice was soft and drowsy but as her eyes opened again, her voice rose hysterically. "Why am I thinking about sleeping now? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. It's either the shock or the medication you've been given," said Cal. "Some of the medication we administer does make patients sleepy and it's powerful stuff. Unless you're used to it, it sometimes does knock you out for a bit." He gently let go of her, though he stayed close to her. "You have a sleep if you want to, Emma. If you wake up and you need something, you can always call for assistance and ask for me. If I'm involved in something else I won't be able to come straight away, but I'll come as soon as I can."

"Thank you, Cal. I mean Dr Knight."

"Please, call me Cal."

"Okay. Cal. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Emma." He helped Emma to lie down and tucked her in. It felt strange to be tucking a girl in without tucking himself in at the same time but it felt right.

"Cal?"

"Yes, Emma?"

"Would you stay for a bit? For as long as you can?"

"I'll stay till you're asleep," said Cal.

* * *

Once Emma was asleep, Cal carefully disengaged his hand from hers and went out into the corridor. It seemed deserted but even if it hadn't been, Cal probably wouldn't have been able to stop himself from leaning against the wall as the tears filled his eyes once more.

Sometimes he wondered why he did this job. There was so much pain and loss and only so much he or any other doctor could do.

Emma was all alone. Sometimes Cal felt as though he was alone, but at least Ethan still spoke to him most of the time. He'd been there for Cal earlier when Georgia had died. Cal sometimes thought that some of the other doctors didn't like him: that they found him arrogant (which he probably was) and unfeeling (sometimes, perhaps), but professionally, he'd generally had nothing but support from them. He felt as though if he did have a problem, he could go to Zoe or Charlie; perhaps some of the others. They would support him regardless of their personal opinion of him. But Emma had lost her friends and her colleagues in one moment of Andrea's inattention: a moment that might not have mattered at almost any other point on their journey, but which at that moment had proved fatal.

Cal tried to choke back a sob, but he couldn't. In the next moment, a hand was on his shoulder.

"Come on, Cal. Let's go and get a cup of tea."

"How is that going to help Emma?" Cal kept his voice down only because he feared waking her.

"It will help you," said Ethan. "It will calm you down and help you to think more clearly, and then you'll be in a better frame of mind to help Emma."

Cal considered this for a moment or two, turning Ethan's words over in his mind and feeling the light but comforting pressure of his hand. He wiped the tears from his face and stepped away from the wall. "Okay."


	6. Chapter 6

**AVMabel**, thank you so much, I really appreciate your kind words, especially as Emma's breakdown was so difficult to write.

**Minnie4114**, thank you for the review and for sticking with both my stories for so long! There's lots of Ethan and Cal in this chapter - it might not be what you're hoping for but I hope you like it.

Thank you to my new followers too!

* * *

Cal was almost grateful for his injured ankle; grateful for the excuse to hold onto Ethan. Cal knew where they were going but the corridors seemed indistinct and blurred. He heard voices as he passed; heard the sound of Ethan replying and had a feeling they were all concerned about him, but their words made no sense at all.

At last Cal was sitting, his head in his hands again, as Ethan made the tea. Cal knew his brother was giving him a few minutes to regain his composure, correctly guessing that Cal would hate the idea of Ethan seeing him like this, but it was no use. Cal was fighting a losing battle with the emotions he usually kept so well-hidden, many believed they weren't there at all. His breath was coming in little gasping sobs that probably weren't audible to Ethan, and the first tears were beginning to fall.

He didn't see as Ethan turned towards him, but he did hear Ethan say his name. Immediately after that there were a couple of clunks as Ethan put two cups of tea down; and then Ethan's arms were around him. "Come on, Cal. Come here."

"No, I'm fine."

"You're not fine. No-one would expect to be fine."

Cal stopped fighting and buried his face in Ethan's shoulder. "It's just so unfair."

"Yes, it is," Ethan said quietly.

"I know I'm being stupid," sobbed Cal. "I know I should take a step back."

"Sometimes you can't," said Ethan. "If you'd met Emma at the hospital it would have been easier. But you spent all that time with her."

"And all for nothing," said Cal.

Ethan held him more tightly. "It wasn't for nothing. You did help."

"But that was before," said Cal into Ethan's shoulder. "I was okay when I was doing all the heroic stuff when they were in the car, but I was useless in there just now. I was trying to tell her about her friends, but I couldn't do it. She had to guess."

Cal felt Ethan tense slightly and there was a slight pause before he spoke, but his voice was reassuring. "There isn't really a correct procedure for breaking bad news. Did she scream at you and tell you to get out?"

"No, she asked me to stay till she was asleep," said Cal.

"Then I'm sure you did fine," said Ethan. "Emma's had a very difficult day with lots of challenges, but you've helped her. Don't forget that."

Cal's voice shook. "But now she's got another challenge. Living without her friends. She's all alone. And I don't know what to do."

"I know. There isn't really a correct procedure for that either," said Ethan. "But I'm sure she's not as alone as she thinks, and even if she is, we can find support for her. Social services. Counselling. Ways of helping her to engage with the world. I'm sure she'll come through this and when she does, it'll be partly because of you."

"Maybe."

"Definitely."

Neither of them said anything for a while after that, but Ethan didn't let go of him. Cal heard the door opening a couple of times; he heard parts of conversations, but each time they stopped abruptly and the door was closed again. They evidently didn't want to intrude on one of the rare occasions when the brothers weren't fighting.

"Better now?" Ethan said gently when Cal let go of him and started to wipe away his tears.

Cal remembered saying that to Ethan on numerous occasions and nearly smiled. "Yeah. I feel a bit stupid, but I think I feel better. Thanks."

"Anytime," said Ethan almost wistfully. "But you've got no reason to feel stupid, Cal. You've just shown you're human. There's nothing wrong with that."

* * *

"Hold still, Caleb."

"But it's cold!"

Ethan sighed. "If you _want_ the whole hospital to see you've been crying…"

"They probably know already," said Cal. "We must have walked past half of them on the way in here and it'll be all round the hospital by now."

Ethan sat back. "Okay."

Cal felt a moment of relief that the freezing, soaking ice-cubes weren't being held against his eyes anymore but then he remembered Emma. "No. You're right. I don't want to worry… the patients." He held out his hand. "But I can do it. You should get back to work. And so should I as soon as I've sorted my eyes out."

Ethan gave him that doubtful, concerned look that was difficult for Cal to bear mostly because he knew Ethan was right to be worried about him.

"So just because I let it get to me once, you're now saying I can't cope?" said Cal.

"It's not that," said Ethan. "I'm just worried because you care too much."

Cal switched into aggressive mode. "Would you make up your mind? First you say I don't care about anyone and now you say I care too much."

Ethan paused. "I know it must be difficult. You had four girls in your care till the ambulance staff arrived. To lose three of them-"

Cal gripped his arm. "Do you think that's why? Do you seriously think that's all it is? A knock to my professional pride? This is so typical of you."

"No, of course I don't mean that." Ethan prised Cal's hand from his arm and kept hold of it. "I know you're genuinely upset. I know you're worried about Emma. But that's what I mean. I don't think you'd show this kind of emotion unless you really were _very_ upset." He looked at Cal and shook his head. "I'm really not sure you're in any state to work."

Cal tore his hand away. "So what you going to do about it? Write me a sick note?"

Ethan kept his voice even. "I'm just saying I think you should stay in here for a bit longer. Till you're a bit calmer. You need to rest your ankle anyway. I'll make you some more tea."

"Tea, yes, because that makes everything okay!" said Cal. "Maybe you should make some tea for Emma. You never know. Maybe if she has some tea, it won't matter that all her friends are dead!"

Ethan looked ready to retaliate, but then Zoe walked in.

"What's wrong with you two now? Cal, why are you all wet? Were you two fighting?"

"I was using ice cubes for the swellings on his eyes," explained Ethan.

Zoe sighed. "Ethan, you didn't punch him again."

"No, it was…" Ethan gave Cal an apologetic look. "Cal was a little bit upset. There wasn't an ice pack in here so we improvised."

Cal glared at him. He suspected the whole department knew already but there was no need whatsoever for Ethan to mention it.

"Oh, I see," Zoe said as though finding weeping registrars was a daily occurrence. "I have to say it never helped me: all it ever did was make a puddle of water on the floor which no-one thought it was their job to clean up. But you look fine, Cal. Ethan, Georgia's mother wants a word with Emma. Do you think that's a good idea?"

"No!" said Cal.

"Thanks, Cal," Zoe said calmly. "Ethan, do you agree?"

"Well, she was asleep when Cal left her," said Ethan. "I don't think we should wake her up. But if she's awake already…"

"No!" said Cal. "Listen. Emma isn't close to Georgia's mum. She hasn't mentioned her. All she's said is that she's alone. She wouldn't have said that if she was expecting any support from her friends' mums."

"Perhaps that's true, but that might be because she thought her friends' mums would have enough to think about just now," said Zoe. "What do you think, Ethan?"

Ethan flicked a nervous glance in Cal's direction. "Cal's spent a lot more time with her than I have. Lily is the doctor who treated her, but I think she's in Resus."

"Yes, that's why I'm asking you. Both of you."

"I think all we can do is ask Emma," said Ethan. "She'd know best."

Zoe nodded. "Can I leave it with you, Ethan? I'd like a few words with Cal."

Cal got unsteadily to his feet. "I'm going too."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Cal."

"I've got to," said Cal. He got some paper towels and wiped the ice cube water from his face. "Emma trusts me and she needs a familiar face with her now. We don't know how well she knows Georgia's mum."

He guessed his familiarity was important to Emma now. From what she'd told him, he might even be her only friend.

Zoe could have said that Ethan's face must be pretty familiar to her as well, but she didn't. "Okay, Cal. You and Ethan can go together. I'll find someone to mop the floor and I'll see if I can sort you out some crutches, Cal."

"I don't need them," said Cal, causing Ethan to roll his eyes.

"Okay," said Zoe. "It's your call. But if it gets too much for you, you can come in here and have an extra break or go home. You do have an ankle injury that needs rest so we can put that down as the official reason."

"It won't be too much for me," said Cal. "Okay, I fell apart a little bit. But show me a doctor who never has. I just need to get on with my work now."

* * *

Emma was asleep when Cal gently drew the curtain back but she must have sensed Cal's gaze as her eyes opened. Her eyes lit up and she smiled: a sweet, beautiful smile of which he'd never seen more than a hint until now. It seemed that not only her eyes but her whole face was shining as she looked at him. Cal had done his best to be professional but at that moment, his thoughts decidedly weren't.

And then she remembered. The smile vanished and a crease appeared between her brows. Her eyes were anguished as she met Cal's.

"I'm sorry I woke you," said Cal.

Emma tried to sit up and he limped over to her. "It's okay. I wasn't really asleep. Cal, are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," said Cal and smiled to prove it.

"You've hurt your foot," said Emma, looking down at it. Ethan had advised against putting his shoe back on and Cal had reluctantly decided he was right, so he'd agreed to wear a protective boot on condition that he wore it under his trousers and it matched his shoe. But Emma had still noticed.

"No, it's fine," said Cal. "Don't worry about me."

Emma became agitated. "Did you do it when you came down the hill to help us?"

Cal put his hand on her arm. "Emma, it's okay. It's fine. Don't worry. I hurt it when I got out of the ambulance." It was true, after all. He'd stepped down onto his bad foot and he still wasn't sure how he'd managed to stay silent and upright. "It doesn't really hurt. I'm just humouring Dr Hardy." He gestured towards Ethan as he spoke.

"I'm afraid Dr Knight isn't a very good patient," said Ethan. "But I knew that already."

Cal decided it was definitely time to get back to the subject in hand. "I just wanted to tell you you've got a visitor, Emma, but there's absolutely no obligation on your part to see her."

Emma's look changed to one of confusion. "Who is it?"

"Georgia's mother," said Cal.

Emma looked confused. "But I don't even know her. Why would she want to see me? I mean, I have met her a few times, but..."

Cal started to reiterate that she didn't have to see her, but Ethan stepped forward. "I think perhaps she'd like to speak to someone who shared Georgia's last days."

"But you don't have to," said Cal quickly. "You shouldn't do it unless you want to and you feel ready to do it."

"I think I'd like to," Emma said slowly. Her eyes met Cal's again. "But I'm scared."

"It's natural to be scared," said Ethan. "It's going to be difficult for both of you. But it might help both of you."

"You don't have to do it now," said Cal. "You can wait till you're ready." Pointedly, he added: "You mustn't let anyone talk you into doing something you're not ready for. But I'm happy to stay with you if that would help."

"Cal, I don't think-" began Ethan, but Emma's grateful nods forestalled his objections.

"Thank you, Cal. I'd like that."

"Right. I'll go and find Georgia's mother," said Ethan.

Once he'd gone, Cal sat on the edge of the bed. He lowered his voice slightly as his eyes searched Emma's. "Are you sure about this, Emma?"

"No, Cal." Emma looked lost and sad. "No, I'm not sure at all. I'm scared. I don't know what to say to her. But she must be suffering so much more than me…"

"No." The word came out sharper than Cal had intended and Emma opened her eyes, clearly startled. "Emma, it's sweet of you to feel concern for her. But you should never compare your suffering with another person's. It's okay to feel sad and it's okay to feel you're not ready to do something. . If you've changed your mind, all I need to do is go and tell Dr Hardy."

Emma looked tempted, but then she shook her head. "No. I'd like to see her. But I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm not going anywhere," said Cal.


	7. Chapter 7

**Tanrith Panic**, thank you for the review. I'm glad you like the chapter and that you felt it was an appropriate moment for Cal to cry.

**Minnie4114**, thank you, it's so kind of you to say that! I'm glad you liked the Cal and Ethan scenes. They're my favourite parts to write.

* * *

Ethan returned to the cubicle with a middle-aged woman by her side. Her eyes were red from weeping and her face seemed almost frozen, but Cal couldn't help noticing she was attractive, and wondered if Georgia had been attractive too. He was rather surprised he hadn't noticed, but also glad. There had never been an appropriate time to notice something like that.

"Here you are, Mrs Thompson," said Ethan. "This is Dr Knight: we're still a bit worried about Emma, so we hope you don't mind if he stays."

Mrs Thompson looked as though she minded quite a lot, but she made no objections. Neither did Cal when Ethan took his arm and pulled him over to cubicle entrance, giving Emma and her visitor some illusion of privacy. He did send a slightly poisonous look in Ethan's direction to let him know that he was only staying quiet for Emma's sake, but Ethan ignored it and left them alone.

"Hello, Emma," said Mrs Thompson.

"Hello, Sarah." Emma paused for a moment, her face slightly creased as though the words were an effort. "I'm sorry about Georgia," she managed at last. "She was a lovely person and a very good friend to me."

"Thank you for being a good friend to her," said Sarah Thompson with an effort. "I heard you always were a good friend. Dr Hanna told me you tried to stop the bleeding."

"I tried," said Emma. "Dr Knight helped me. He heard our car go off the road and came to help."

Sarah Thompson turned and looked at Cal. "Thank you for helping my daughter, Dr Knight," she said but without any real gratitude. Cal didn't blame her. He didn't see how anyone in her position could feel such an emotion.

"I'm sorry we weren't able to do more," said Cal. He remembered again the moment when they'd fought to save Georgia's life and Zoe had told them to stop. He was glad when Mrs Thompson turned back to Emma, but Emma's eyes met his for a moment, questioning and concerned.

He gave her a quick smile in an attempt to show her he was all right.

"What happened, Emma?" Sarah Thompson was asking, her voice soft and reluctant. Cal knew how she felt because he'd seen it before. Not wanting to ask for details but feeling as though they had to know.

Emma hesitated. Her eyes sought Cal's again.

"Emma, you don't have to," he said quickly.

Sarah's voice increased in volume. "I need to know what happened!"

"Yes, I appreciate that, Mrs Thompson, but it's difficult for Emma," said Cal.

"And how do you think it is for me?" Sarah almost shouted. "She's _my daughter_. I have to know. Can you see that, Emma? I have to know!"

"Mrs Thompson, I really think you should-" began Cal, but Emma spoke quickly.

"It's okay, Cal. Yes, of course you have to know," said Emma. She lowered her head for a moment, clearly steeling herself. "We were driving along the road. It was a good day. We were happy. Georgia was happy. She was looking forward to spending the day with us. Then suddenly…" Emma stopped for a moment, her lips trembling, but then she continued. "The car kind of lurched to one side. There was a crash as we went through the fence at the side of the road. Then the car was turning over and over." She shuddered, turning pale, and Cal took a hurried step towards the bed.

"Emma, maybe it's best if you don't talk about that. I'm sorry, Mrs Thompson, but perhaps this isn't the best time for Emma to answer your questions."

"No, it's okay," said Emma but she smiled slightly; gratefully as her eyes met his. "When the car stopped, it was on its side." She spoke tonelessly; unemotionally. "I asked them all if they were all right, but none of them answered. I looked for my phone but I couldn't find it. I saw Georgia was bleeding and I tried to take my dress off but I couldn't."

"And you'd hurt your arm," said Sarah, nodding towards the sling. "Did…"

"Yes?" prompted Emma gently. She blinked back tears.

"Did Georgia feel any pain?"

"I think she was unconscious the whole time," said Emma. "She never gave any sign of being in pain." She looked pleadingly at Cal.

"Given the nature of her injuries," Cal said carefully, "Emma and I would have been able to hear if Georgia was in pain. I'm sure she felt nothing."

Sarah put her hands over her face. "My girl," she moaned. "My beautiful girl."

"Yes, she was," Emma said unsteadily. "And she loved you. She was talking about you last night. She… she wanted us to do a surprise birthday party for you. With music and dance."

Sarah gave a wail of anguish. "Oh God! Why did she have to… why did it have to be her who died? Why? Why did she go out today? Why did she sit there? If she'd sat in another seat…"

Emma recoiled, her face frozen in an expression of horror. Cal took a step forward. "Mrs Thompson, I'm sorry but I think it's best if you leave Emma now." He took her arm and tried not to seem as though he was hurrying her out of the room. "Is there anyone here with you? Or is there someone we can call?" He looked out into the corridor, hoping that Ethan might still be there, but another patient must have claimed his attention. He took her to the desk. "Louise, please find someone to look after Mrs Thompson. She lost her daughter today. I need to return to my patient."

Emma was crying, her head resting on her good hand. She looked up as he entered and held out her hand to him. "Cal?"

Cal went to her without hesitation. "Emma, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you see her."

"it was my fault," sobbed Emma. "The accident was my fault."

"Of course it wasn't." Cal put his arm around her. "It was an accident. It's had very tragic consequences, but it was an accident, Emma."

"But we only went out today because it was my birthday." The tears ran unchecked down Emma's face. "And Georgia only sat there because… because…"

"Wherever she'd sat, it's likely that Georgia would have suffered cuts," said Cal.

"But _I_ didn't!" cried Emma. "If she'd sat where I was sitting, she would have been okay. And she did want to sit where I was sitting. She got in the car before me and sat there. But I asked her to move up. Our car park is full of pebbles and I didn't feel steady walking on them with my shoes. I didn't want to walk round to the other side of the car. So I asked her to move up!"

Her sobs intensified. Cal held her head against his shoulder. "Emma, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known what would happen. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sure no-one blames you and you mustn't blame yourself."

"But I can't help feeling…"

"I know," said Cal, and he did. "When something terrible like this happens, you always wonder. If you'd done just one thing differently… But it's not your fault, Emma, and even if you had sat in the other seat, the outcome might not have been any different. It might even have been worse."

Emma tore herself from his grasp. "How could it have been worse? If I'd died too, you mean? Maybe that sounds worse to you but not to me."

Cal didn't tell her it definitely did sound worse. He knew it wouldn't help. He put his hand on his shoulder. This time, she didn't shake him off. "It would have been worse if your friends had suffered. This way, none of them did."

"Another way, they might not have died."

"But you don't know that, Emma," said Cal. He looked deeply into her eyes. "You'll never know the answer to that. But your friends didn't suffer, Emma. That can only be a good thing."

* * *

Ethan stormed out of the building and over to where Cal was getting some air. "Fifty pounds you owe me, Caleb."

"Yeah, fine," Cal said vaguely. He'd been under the impression he owed Ethan quite a lot more, but he was having trouble thinking of anything other than Emma. Ethan was probably right. He was right far too often.

"Why, Caleb?"

Cal focused on Ethan's face. His brother looked angry, his eyes hard behind his glasses and his hands held in fists at his sides. "Why what?"

"Why did you call a taxi, abandon it, then tell them to come to the hospital and ask for Dr Hardy?" Ethan almost spat out the words. Then he took a breath and tried to speak calmly again. "I know you've had a rough day, Cal. I know you were injured and worried about Emma and her friends, and you didn't have much choice about abandoning the taxi. But why did you tell them to come to the hospital and ask me for the money?"

"Because I knew it would be a lot of money and I haven't got enough," said Cal. "I thought you would have."

Ethan opened his mouth a couple of times but didn't manage to speak.

"I'll pay you back," Cal said quickly. "I'll go to the bank on my way home."

Ethan huffed out a big sigh. "Why did you have to get a taxi to work anyway?"

"No bus service round that way," said Cal. "I thought Rosalia would give me a lift to work in the morning, but…" He lowered his voice. "…well, she gave me ten pounds and asked me to wait for the taxi around the corner so no-one would associate me with her."

Ethan winced. "That bad?"

"Apparently I was."

"You really have had a bad day then," said Ethan.

"To be honest, that part of it really doesn't matter anymore." Cal's pride had been severely bruised at the time, but now he felt almost grateful for Rosalia's behaviour. He couldn't help thinking that she might not have stopped the car so he could go down and help Emma. Judging from the rather perilous journey to her house the night before, it wasn't unlikely that he'd have ended up at the bottom of the hill himself.

"No," said Ethan. He pushed his hand through his hair. "Okay. We'll forget about the taxi. It wasn't your fault and any doctor would have done the same. Of course you're the only doctor who'd have dropped me in it, but… anyway, let's forget it. But you do still owe me for household expenses."

"I'll get it on the way home, Ethan," said Cal. "I promise."

Ethan looked at him for a moment. "Let's extend the deadline till tomorrow. You look tired, Cal, and you need to stay off your ankle. We can leave it till tomorrow."

* * *

Cal thought Emma looked relieved when Ethan gave her the news that she'd have to stay in the hospital overnight for observation. He could well understand she didn't want to go home to the place where she'd lived and worked with her friends.

"We'll see how you are tomorrow," said Ethan, "but initial signs are good. There's no sign of head trauma – or anything else serious apart from your wrist. Just a few bruises here and there. You've been very l-" Ethan stopped short.

"Yes," Cal said quickly. "You've been very brave."

The trouble was the need for bravery hadn't gone away. Emma had so much still to feel; to suffer; to endure.

"Dr Knight, I'm sure you'll want a few words with Emma before you go off-duty, but perhaps we could have a quick word?" Ethan's voice was light but his gaze was determined.

"I don't need to go off-duty," said Cal. "I know we're not that busy tonight, but there are things I can do to help."

"Well… we can talk about that as well," said Ethan. He gestured for Cal to go ahead of him and after one more glance at Emma and a promise he'd be back soon, Cal went out into the corridor.


	8. Chapter 8

**ETWentHome**, thank you so much! I really wanted to put Cal into a difficult position so the focus wasn't entirely on the OC.

**Tanith Panic**, thank you, that's really kind of you. I'm really happy you care about Emma even though she's an OC.

* * *

"I don't need to go off-duty," Cal said again, "and I really think Emma needs someone with her. I know it's not usual for a doctor to be constantly in attendance when the most serious injury is a broken wrist, but what Emma needs now is support and there isn't anyone apart from us."

Ethan looked serious. "Cal, you are right about Emma needing support, but you need to go home. You've had a really tough day and you need to rest your ankle. I think you'll be able to give Emma much better support if you go home now, get a good night's sleep and then come back here tomorrow."

"But how's she going to get through tonight?" said Cal. "The first night without the people she loves."

"It is going to be difficult for her," admitted Ethan. "But you need to think about yourself too."

Cal sighed. "I'll be fine, Ethan. I know I got a bit upset before but I feel better now. I can do this. I can look after her. I _need_ to look after her."

Ethan's voice was quiet but firm. "That's one of the reasons why you should go home. You care about her too much. It's not good for you – and it's not good for Emma either. If you give her this kind of special treatment now, when she's all alone in the world, she's going to get attached to you."

"It wouldn't be the first time a patient has got attached to me," said Cal. "I know how to deal with it."

"But how are you going to deal with being attached to her?" said Ethan.

Cal became defensive. "Who says I'm attached to her?"

"You do. Or rather your behaviour does. Cal, you've been with her for most of the day. Almost every time you've had a break between patients, you've been in there talking to Emma."

"She needs someone to talk to," said Cal. "And you're the one who insisted I spent lots of time resting my ankle."

"Yes, but I didn't mean for you to rest it in Emma's cubicle," said Ethan, exasperated, but then his voice softened. "Emma won't be alone, Cal. The others will keep checking on her. We've arranged for a social worker to come in and speak to her tomorrow. We'll look after her. But we also need to look after you, Cal. So go home and get some rest."

Cal folded his arms. "And that's doctor's orders, is it?"

"Isn't it what you'd tell me if I was in this situation?"

"Yeah, but it's different with you," said Cal. "I'm better at being detached."

Ethan shook his head with a mixture of exasperation and sadness. "Caleb, even when you're being nice you're completely deluded. Detached is the last thing you are. Go back in there, say goodbye and then we'll go home, I'll make you a proper meal and you can get some sleep. I want us out of here in twenty minutes."

"Sleep?" Cal said bitterly. He let his hands fall to his sides. "Do you really expect me to sleep?" Even now, when he had work to do, he was struggling to keep the images out of his mind. The car lying on its side. Izzy hanging out of the sun roof, more dead than alive. Andrea resting on the steering wheel, out of his reach or so he'd thought. If he had decided to move Izzy and help Andrea, would just one of Emma's friends be alive now? And then he saw Georgia, of course, who had died as Cal had fought and failed to save her life.

"I'll give you something to help you sleep," said Ethan. He put his hand on Cal's arm. "You go and talk to Emma and I'll sort out a prescription for you."

Cal nodded, too exhausted to argue anymore, and was about to return to Emma when someone called his name. "Hi Zoe. I was about to go off-duty, though I'm happy to stay if you need more help."

"Thanks, Cal, but we'll be fine. But before you go, could you do something for me?" Zoe held out something pink. "It's Emma's phone. Tell her we're really sorry for keeping it for so long. We were just so busy: you know how it is sometimes. Has she missed it?"

"I don't think she has," said Cal. "She was talking about phoning her clients earlier, but that was before she… heard the news."

"Poor Emma: it must be so difficult for her," said Zoe, her eyes full of sympathy. "I'll keep checking in with her until I go off-duty. Okay, I'd better let you go. It's been a tough day for you." She gave him a sympathetic smile and squeezed his arm. "We're here to support you as well, Cal, okay?"

Cal wanted to tell her he was fine and he didn't need support, but there was a lump in his throat and a quick: "Thanks," was all he could manage. Zoe seemed to understand; she smiled at him again and said she'd see him tomorrow.

Cal stayed where he was, breathing deeply; trying to calm himself enough to go and see Emma. Maybe Ethan had a point about him needing to sleep. He was certainly exhausted.

Cal started to walk back towards Emma's cubicle, but he remembered the phone and stopped as a thought formed in his mind. He told himself there was nothing he could do. Emma was determined not to tell her family and that was her decision.

But Cal had seen, on numerous occasions, how a tragedy like this could bring a warring family back together. It often took something serious like this to make you realise how precious your family was. Cal had realised that himself when he'd nearly lost Ethan. Unfortunately, as time had passed, they'd gradually returned to their old footing, but Cal was sure he was more difficult to live with than Emma. Anyone would be.

Cal switched on the phone and looked at Emma's contacts. There were quite a number of them but most were entered under first name and surname so he thought they might be clients. There was no Dad under D but undeterred, he continued to M.

There it was. Mum and Dad.

Cal memorised the number and switched off the phone again. He had no reason to phone Emma's parents at present. But knowing the number was strangely comforting; knowing he could contact them if he needed to.

He strode back into Emma's cubicle. "Emma, here's your phone. I'm really sorry we didn't give it back to you before."

"That's okay," said Emma. "There wasn't anyone I wanted to phone. I know I need to phone my clients but…" She looked away.

"We can help you with that tomorrow," said Cal. "It's probably a bit late to phone them now."

"Will I _have_ to go back home tomorrow?" Emma asked as though it was the last thing she wanted.

Cal sat down on the bed. "It does seem likely. I know it's going to be difficult for you, but I'll take you home myself if you like and help you get settled. But I'm sure it would be possible for you to be rehoused if you didn't want to live there."

"I don't know. I'll have to get through tonight first," said Emma. "Is Dr Hardy going off-duty too?"

"Yes, he is and Dr Chao's already gone, but Zoe - Dr Hanna - should be around for a while," sad Cal. "Whoever is around will look after you. We've got a really good team here."

Emma held out her hand and he took it automatically. "I know it's been difficult for you today, Cal. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about me," said Cal. "It's not your fault and difficult days are part of the job."

"But I'm glad you're here," continued Emma. "I'm glad you came to help us when our car came off the road. I'm glad you've been here for me today. I'm glad you're here now."

"I'm glad I'm here too," said Cal. "I just hope you'll be okay tonight."

"It feels like it's impossible for me to be okay," said Emma. "But then I think how much time has passed already. Maybe it wasn't really a long time, but it feels like a long time."

Cal nodded sympathetically. "I bet it does."

"So I think I probably can get through tonight," said Emma. "I don't know how. But life will go on because I can't stop it." Her voice was clear and determined. So were her eyes. But in an instant that changed: Her eyes flooded with tears and when she spoke, she could hardly get the words out. "I know it's stupid, Cal. I know this will probably make you feel glad you're going off-duty. But I don't know how I'm going to manage without you."

Cal watched as a tear fell from her eye. Something twisted inside him. He wasn't sure what. It wasn't an anatomical process he could identify. "You don't have to manage without me. Not completely. I do have to go home now, but I'll give you my phone number." He picked up the phone Emma had placed on the bed. He knew his own phone number as well as he now knew Emma's parents'. He entered it into her contacts. "There. If you want to talk, all you need to do is text or call me."

Emma looked down at his number, her eyes wide. "Oh, I couldn't... could I?"

"Why would I give you my number if I didn't want you to call me?" said Cal. "I promise, Emma. You can call me anytime you like. It doesn't matter how late it is. I'll always be there. You're my patient and my job is to look after you, and if that means doing a little bit more than I would for most patients, then I'll do a little bit more. We're supposed to treat every patient in the same way, but that's impossible because patients aren't all the same. We don't give you all the same medical treatment because you all have different injuries and diagnoses, and the emotional support we give patients is an important part of the treatment. "

He knew a lot of people at the hospital would argue with that and Ethan definitely wouldn't be happy that Cal had given his number to a female patient _again_ but this was different. This was so different. Cal wasn't sure Ethan would understand but he would worry about that later. Maybe Ethan would never know.

Emma's eyes were full of tears again, but she didn't look sad this time. Just grateful.

So grateful.

Emma reached out her hand to Cal's and he took it, holding it gently. Emma had a few goes at speaking before she finally managed it. "Thank you, Cal. Thank you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Tanith Panic**, thank you for your review. I'm glad you like it.

I'm so so sorry if there's anything offensive in this story or any other. I don't think there is, but I don't know.

* * *

Cal just wanted to go to bed. He was exhausted, physically and emotionally, and he really wanted to be alone. But Ethan had said he needed a proper meal and as he was (temporarily, Cal hoped) by far the more persuasive of the two brothers, Cal was picking his way through a meal he couldn't taste and forcing it down.

When his phone began to ring, he dropped his fork and looked at the display. "I'll just take this outside," he mumbled through a mouthful of food.

"Why can't you take it in here?" said Ethan. Cal didn't answer and Ethan heaved a sigh. "Caleb. Tell me you didn't."

"Didn't what?" Cal said innocently once he'd swallowed his food. He went out of the room. "Hello?"

The phone went dead.

It was probably a wrong number. Or someone trying to sell him something.

But maybe it was someone who had panicked at the last minute.

He phoned the number back.

"Cal? is that you?"

It was her. He knew it.

"Yes. Is that Emma?" said Cal.

"Yes."

"I thought it was. I'm glad you called. Are you okay?"

"Yes. Well, no. But yes." Emma's voice shook. "I'm fine. I just wanted to… to make sure I'd got the right number."

Cal didn't remind her that he'd been the one to enter his number into her phone. "Well, you're talking to me so you must have."

"Yes," said Emma expressionlessly. "I suppose I must have. That's good."

"Yes, it is," said Cal. "So we can talk now. Unless you need me to come and see you?"

"You don't have to do that," said Emma. Her next words came in a rush. "I don't want to inconvenience you. But I was wondering. Could we talk for a bit?"

"Of course we can. We can talk about anything you like."

There was a silence.

"How's your foot?" asked Emma.

"It's fine," said Cal. It was actually quite painful, but he didn't want to worry Emma. "It's really not that bad."

"I'm glad," said Emma. "I was worried. What have you been doing?"

"Ethan… Dr Hardy… just made me some dinner," said Cal. "I can't remember what it was. It tasted like cardboard, but it was probably quite nice really. I'm just not very hungry."

The door behind him opened. "Caleb, come back and sit down and eat your cardboard."

"Oh, I didn't realise you and Dr Hardy were living together," said Emma awkwardly. "I should go. I don't want to interrupt your dinner."

"Don't worry; t's fine," said Cal. "Have you had dinner?"

"I'm not very hungry either," said Emma. "Rita got me some vegetable soup, but it tasted like vomit. I had to ask for a sandwich instead."

"Did you manage to eat it?" Cal asked, concerned.

"The sandwich? Yes," Emma said with a sigh. "It was nice. I think."

"You'll have proper food from tomorrow," said Cal. He was about to offer to help with any cooking, but he decided that wasn't something he wanted to do when Ethan was standing in the doorway, watching him pointedly.

"Cal?" said Emma.

"Yes?"

"You won't get into trouble for giving me your phone number, will you?"

"No, of course not," said Cal. "Only with Ethan, but I get into trouble with him for breathing sometimes."

"I'd better let you go then," said Emma. "I do like Dr Hardy a lot and maybe I shouldn't be saying this considering your relationship with him, but he can be a bit scary sometimes, can't he?"

Cal looked over his shoulder at Ethan. He was looking quite stern but Cal couldn't imagine anyone calling him scary. "You don't need to be scared of Dr Hardy."

"No, I'm sure he's lovely," said Emma. "He is lovely. I like him a lot. But I should go. I am a bit tired."

Cal had to smile: while Emma obviously did know Ethan was his brother, her informant had neglected to tell her that they didn't get on. "Then you should go to sleep if you can, but phone again if you need to talk, okay?" They said goodbye and Cal turned to face his brother. "I hear you've been scaring your patients, Dr Hardy."

Ethan held out his hand. "Caleb, give me the phone."

"And your colleagues too now," said Cal. "Or is it just the ones you're related to?"

"I'm serious, Caleb," said Ethan. "I know you want to help Emma and that's… admirable, but you need to think about yourself now."

"I always do," said Cal. "I never think about anyone else, remember?"

Ethan tried to take the phone. "Caleb."

Cal closed his hands more tightly around it. "Ethan, she needs me. She's all on her own. What if she phones me and I don't answer?"

"All right!" burst out Ethan. "I'll answer the phone for you. I'll come and wake you up if it's urgent. But you're going to finish your dinner, take your medication and go to bed."

"And what if I don't?" said Cal.

"If you don't, the whole department will be asking me why you're too exhausted to do your job properly," said Ethan grimly. "And you know I'm not very good at lying."

* * *

Cal fell asleep quite soon after taking the medication, but he woke up early and, having nothing else to do but be fussed over by Ethan, he went to the hospital and went to see Emma. She was asleep. There was a faint flush on her cheeks and she seemed to be smiling. Cal realised he was smiling too. He didn't know why. It made him feel better to know she was okay, even though he knew she wouldn't feel that way for long.

"Andrea, you've been in there for two hours. I'm busting!" mumbled Emma.

Cal smiled, charmed. Then he felt like crying because he knew Andrea would never spend hours in the bathroom again.

"Aw, bless her," said a voice at his elbow. He turned to see Robyn. "She's been doing that all night."

"Sleep-talking?" said Cal – softly so Emma wouldn't wake.

"Yeah. When she's been asleep anyway," said Robyn. She smiled knowingly at him. "She mentioned you, actually."

Cal couldn't help feeling pleased. "What did she say?"

Robyn's smile was positively mischievous now. "She said: 'no, Cal! It's too small!' I've got no idea what she was dreaming about."

"I'm glad you're getting some amusement from a girl who's just lost all her friends," said Cal.

Robyn took a step away from him. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean… I'll leave you to get on." She hurried away down the corridor.

* * *

Cal managed to upset a few people that morning, including a couple of the patients. He wasn't surprised when Zoe took him aside and spoke sympathetically but firmly. "I know you're worried about Emma and I don't blame you for that, but she's not the only patient in the hospital. They all need you to do your job, Cal, and so do we."

Cal knew she was right and did his best, but he couldn't help noticing that every other patient he dealt with had someone with them: someone offering unconditional love and support. He knew that wasn't always the case, but it made Emma's situation seem even more unfair. Cal spent as much time with her as he could once she'd woken up, but it was a busy day in the ED and he missed seeing the social worker, despite his promises to Emma that he would do his very best to be there.

She wasn't upset and she completely understood, but that made Cal feel even worse.

"Did it go okay?" he asked. "Have you made any arrangements?"

"She's going to help me find alternative accommodation," said Emma. "Our flat – _my_ flat - is too big for one person. And she says she'll give me advice on how to tell my clients, but I don't want advice. I know that sounds bad, Cal. I'm sure she'd give me good advice. And I'll listen to it. But the thing is, she'll give me her advice and then she'll go away and nothing will have changed. I'll still have to deal with it."

Cal reached for her hand. "But you haven't got to deal with it alone."

Emma gave a little sigh. "Yes, I have. What choice have I got? No-one's going to do it for me."

"No, but I could be there," said Cal. "Physically there. When you tell them." He had to admit it wasn't much, but Emma's eyes were lit with a small, faint hope.

"Really, Cal? Would you really?"

"Yes, of course," said Cal. "It would have to be when I'm not working, but we'll figure something out. We can talk about it when I take you home."

* * *

Cal had imagined Emma's flat would be quite big in order to house four girls, a burgeoning business and enough space to practise dance routines, but it looked small from the outside. Both Emma's flat and the one below had once been half of a semi-detached house and Cal judged it had been made into two flats only recently. The blue paint was only just beginning to fade on the upper flat's front door and the brass door knocker was glinting in the sunlight with no signs of rust. Around the door, the bricks were bright red and contrasted sharply with the dullness of the rest of the building.

Unfortunately for Cal, considerably less money seemed to have been spent on the stone steps leading to the door. They were a dirty grey and very steep and although he managed to climb up them without too many gasps of pain, he couldn't help worrying about how he was going to get down.

Emma found her key and opened the door. Immediately, Cal found himself in a living room, which had probably once been a bedroom. All the furniture was pushed back against the wall with the chairs stacked, but even that couldn't give the illusion of very much space. On the table were boxes of varying sizes and shapes which Cal guessed held musical instruments, while the sofa contained a laptop and several stacks of paper.

As soon as Emma saw it, her eyes filled with tears. "We were going to rehearse when we got home last night."

Cal put his arms around her and just held her. When she'd stopped crying, he said quietly: "Is it okay if I move the laptop and the papers? I won't get them mixed up."

Emma nodded without saying anything. Cal gave her shoulder a squeeze and made some space for them both. He looked up at Emma, but she didn't seem to have noticed what he'd done. She was just staring into space. Cal went over to her and gently urged her over to the sofa.

"There, sit down. I'll make us both some tea. We can talk when you're ready."

Emma just nodded. Cal went into the kitchen and started searching the cupboards and shelves. He noticed there didn't seem to be any food in the house, and knew that Emma wouldn't be up to shopping – and even if she was, she would have trouble cooking with only one hand. Cal didn't doubt that the social worker would take her out shopping tomorrow, but she'd still need something to eat tonight – as well as someone to cook it for her.

Cal decided he'd better go out and buy her something later, but as he stepped onto his bad foot, he realised that he wasn't in great shape for a shopping trip either. He couldn't drive – he'd brought Emma home in a taxi - which meant he'd either have to fork out for another couple of taxis. The only alternative was to ask Ethan, but Cal was fairly sure Ethan would be against anything that involved him prolonging his involvement with Emma.

Cal had nearly finished making the tea when there was a knock on the door. Emma made no sign of having heard it and Cal considered ignoring it, but he couldn't help thinking that if it was a neighbour, it would be helpful if he could let them know what had happened. They might be able to give Emma some help. "I'll get that, Emma, okay?"

Emma didn't seem to hear his voice either.

Cal limped over to the door. The man standing outside it was small and square-looking, but what he lacked in height, he clearly made up in aggression. His arms were folded across his broad chest and his glower caused the smile Cal had prepared to falter and die. "Hi," he managed to say. "My name's Cal. I'm a friend of Emma's. Can I help you?"

"You can tell Emma and her friends to get out here right now and pay what they owe me!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Tanith Panic**, thank you, I'm really happy you're enjoying it. I hope you like this chapter too!

**ETWentHome**, thank you so much! I'm so glad you love reading it. I love reading your reviews.

* * *

"I'm afraid this really isn't a good time," said Cal. "Emma and her friends have been in an accident. I appreciate that you want your money, but perhaps you could wait a week or so."

"I've been waiting three weeks already," said the man. "I should have thrown them out last week, but that Izzy persuaded me to wait another week. So I've waited a week and here I am and I want the money. And you can tell Miss Izzy that no amount of eyelash-fluttering and crossing her legs is going to work this time."

"I'm afraid I can't tell Izzy anything," said Cal. "As I said, Emma and her friends were involved in an accident and I'm very sorry to say that Emma's friends didn't make it. I'm sure Emma will pay any rent that's owed in time, but she's not able to deal with anything like that at the-" Cal broke off as the man suddenly barged into him, pushing him to one side, and marched into the flat. Cal grabbed hold of him. "You can't just barge in like that! It isn't your flat."

"That's where your wrong," said the man, poking Cal in the stomach. "I'm the landlord so it is my flat and I want my rent." His gaze fell on Emma, who was sitting with her head bent and tears on her cheeks. "Hello, Emma love. I heard about your friends. Very sorry and everything, but the fact is, I'm still alive and I need your money. You'll pay your rent today or you're out on those streets. And then you'd better be paying me your three months' notice, love, because I can't see you keeping up the business or the rent on your own."

Cal turned to him in disbelief. "What's wrong with you? Emma's just lost her friends. Everyone she's got in the world. And all you care about is her money?"

"I'm her landlord. It's not my job to offer sympathy. Come on, Emma. Are you going to pay up or what?"

"I can't pay, Doug." Emma's voice was hard and brittle. "I haven't got the money."

"No money? Haven't you got paid for that party a couple of weeks ago where you were playing that God-awful music till all hours?"

"Yes, but the money went into the…" Emma's voice trailed away as her face filled with horror.

Doug waved a fist. "Where did it go, Emma? Into your wardrobe?"

Cal took hold of him by the shoulders. "Please calm down. There's no need to be aggressive. I'm sure Emma will do everything she can to get you the money."

"Where's the money, Emma?" asked Doug. His voice was quieter now, but steely.

Emma was crying. "The money's in the joint account."

"Then get it out of the joint account."

"I can't!" Emma began to sob and Cal went quickly to her side. "We can't get anything out of the joint account unless at least two of us are present. And… and there won't be two of us present. There can't be. Never again."

Cal put his arms around her. "It's okay, Emma. It's okay. Don't worry. I'll deal with this." He turned back to the landlord. "Just leave it, okay? Leave it for another week. I understand you want your money, but these are exceptional circumstances. I'm sure the joint account thing will be sorted out, but it's going to take time."

Doug's gaze swung to Cal and he began to smile. "You seem to care about Emma a lot."

"Of course I do," said Cal.

"So the solution is obvious. You pay Emma's rent for her. Then I'll have my money, I'll go away happy, and Emma can pay you back when she gets into that joint account."

"How much?" said Cal. The flat was small and he guessed Emma and her friends must have been crammed into two bedrooms. A month's rent shouldn't be very high. £500 a month tops. Even that would be a strain on Cal's bank balance, but it was affordable. Ethan would have to go without Cal's contribution to their household expenses, but what choice did Cal have?

* * *

Cal often felt tired after a shift, but it wasn't often he felt quite this emotionally drained. The last thing he needed was Ethan accosting him before he'd even sat down. "Where have you been?"

Cal had anticipated this question and had planned an answer before leaving the hospital. "In town getting your money," he said wearily

Immediately, he wanted to bash his head against the wall, though if it was any consolation, there was a good chance Ethan might do it for him.

"That took a long time," said Ethan. "Was the queue at the bank long?"

Cal sank onto the sofa, propped his ankle up on a cushion and muttered something about not being able to walk very fast at the moment.

Ethan sat down too. He looked serious. "Caleb, I know where you went. Robyn saw you getting into a taxi with Emma."

"And she told you?!" said Cal.

Ethan shook his head. "As far as I can gather, she only told Lofty and Max, but I heard about it from Lily. So I would guess the whole ED knows what you've been up to."

He shook his head again and it was the look of disappointment that upset Cal the most. Anger he could have dealt with. If Ethan had been angry, he could have shouted back at him. But disappointment he couldn't deal with, and he had a horrible feeling it was going to get worse.

"Caleb… I don't know what to say to you," said Ethan. "Emma's lost all her friends. She has no contact with her family. She's all alone. And you…" He broke off, his face twisted with disgust.

"And I what?" said Cal. He wanted to be angry and now he had a reason to be angry, but all he felt was hurt. "Is that what you think, Ethan? You think I'd take a girl home and sleep with her when she's going through that? Do you really think I'm that much of a monster?"

"Didn't you?" said Ethan quietly.

"No, of course I didn't!" said Cal. His voice trembled. "I _wouldn't_. You've seen how upset she is. You said yourself how alone she is. She needs people who are going to be there for the long haul. She doesn't need some guy messing with her emotions."

Ethan looked at him for a long moment, but then he nodded. "I believe you, Cal. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thought that."

"No, you shouldn't!" said Cal. He stood up. "I'm going to bed."

"Not until you've eaten something," said Ethan.

"I had dinner with Emma." Cal saw the suspicion return to Ethan's eyes. "Not like that. It wasn't a date. I had to make her something. She can't cook with one hand and she's so… you should have seen her, Ethan. She hardly knew where she was! I didn't want her messing around with cookers. But she said she'd only let me cook if I stayed for dinner."

Ethan nodded. "I see. I'm still not sure it's a good idea, Cal. It's not good to get so involved with a patient. But if she really has no-one…"

"She really has no-one," said Cal.

"Okay," said Ethan. "You did a good thing, Cal. I'm sure you really helped. And I am sorry I misjudged you."

Cal shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"I hope it's the last time," said Ethan. Cal nodded and started to get up from the sofa, but Ethan's voice stopped him. "Could I have the money, please?"

Cal tensed up. "What money?"

"You know what money, Caleb. For our household expenses."

"Why now?" said Cal as he edged towards the door.

Ethan's voice was calm. "Why not?"

"Because I'm going to bed," said Cal. "What's your problem? Do you think I'm going to sneak out and spend it in the night?"

"No, of course not," said Ethan, confused. "There just doesn't seem much point in waiting till tomorrow."

Cal waited for a thunderbolt. Or at the very least an urgent call from the ED for more doctors. Neither happened.

Ethan waited for a moment or two. Then he stood up and held his hand out. "Can I have it, please, Cal? I am actually a bit short of cash."

Cal thought about calling Ethan names and accusing him of not trusting him, but all that would achieve was an alternative argument, with the argument about the money most likely happening straight after it. He thought about storming out of the house and going for a drink, but he was tired and his head was aching already – and he knew he couldn't afford it. He thought of falling to the floor and feigning illness, but that didn't work when your brother was a doctor.

"The thing is," said Cal at last, "the thing is, I haven't actually… got the money with me."

"But you said you'd got it," said Ethan.

"I did get it," Cal said with a touch of defensiveness. "I just… haven't got it anymore."

Ethan looked closely at him and a look of disgust came over his face. "You didn't."

Cal tried to keep the nervousness from his voice. It was stupid to be nervous. It wasn't as though Ethan was going to do anything. "I didn't what?"

"You didn't give Emma the money."

"Only as a loan," said Cal.

Ethan looked as though he was going to tear his hair out. "Caleb, what's wrong with you? Why do you always do this? That was my money, Caleb! You owed it to me and you promised me you'd get it tonight."

"I did get it," said Cal. "But there were… extenuating circumstances."

"I'm sure there were. There always are with you!" Ethan leaned forward, his eyes boring into Cal's. "Caleb, I think you'd better sit back down and tell me exactly what happened. I want to know why and I want to know how much."

"I had to do it!" said Cal. "Emma's landlord came along and demanded that she paid her rent. It was already three weeks late and he didn't want to wait anymore. I explained about Emma's situation, but he didn't care. He just kept on demanding the rent."

"Why couldn't Emma have paid it?" said Ethan.

"Because Emma didn't have £1000 lying around the flat," said Cal.

Ethan dropped his head into his hands. "A thousand… oh Caleb."

"It was a nice flat!" said Cal. It wasn't, but Ethan would probably never see it so he could get away with a lie. "I couldn't very well just pay half the rent for her, could I?"

"And you couldn't have taken Emma to the bank?" said Ethan. "I know she's upset and injured, but asking an almost complete stranger to pay her rent for her…"

"I'm not an almost complete stranger," said Cal. "And no I couldn't have taken her to the bank. Even if she was up to it, which she wasn't, she couldn't have got any money out. Emma has a joint account with her friends. None of them can get the money out unless at least two of the girls are present."

This silenced Ethan, but only for a moment. A second later and he was back on the attack. "And Emma doesn't have her own personal account?"

Cal realised it hadn't occurred to him to ask. "Obviously not one with £1000 in," he said. But he could see from Ethan's face that he'd hesitated for too long.

"You didn't even ask her, did you, Caleb? You just accepted her story and gave her the money."

"What else was I supposed to do?" said Cal. "The landlord guy wouldn't go away. He was upsetting Emma. He was shouting at her and she was crying." He looked beseechingly at Ethan. "I had to do something, Ethan. Can't you see that? I couldn't just walk away."


	11. Chapter 11

**ETWentHome**, I'm really happy you sympathise with both of them - I really wanted Cal to be giving his money away for a good reason. Thank you so much for your review.

**Tanith Panic**, yes, he is a greedy swine! I'm glad you see both points of view. I don't want Ethan to seem like the bad guy. Thank you for your review and for your pms.

* * *

Ethan looked almost sad. "You'll believe anything, won't you, Cal? You can't resist a damsel in distress."

Cal couldn't believe it. "Are you saying you think she made it up?"

"It has been known," said Ethan.

Cal glared at him. "I can't believe you brought that up again."

"It's getting to be a pattern, Cal," said Ethan, but his voice was gentle. "Didn't it even occur to you that there was something odd about her story?"

"Just because it's odd, it doesn't mean it's not true," said Cal.

Ethan was clearly trying to be calm, but he couldn't stop a note of exasperation from creeping into his voice. "I'm not saying it's not true. I just think you should be a bit more careful when people ask you for money."

"She didn't ask me for money!" shouted Cal. With an effort, he calmed down. "She didn't want to accept it. I had to talk her into it. But she had to take it, Ethan. Her landlord was demanding the rent and there was nowhere else she could have got it from."

"Okay," said Ethan. "She needed help quickly. You helped her. I get that. But I'm worried, Cal. About you. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I won't get hurt," said Cal. "She's not trying to hurt me. Even if she was capable of that, which I know she isn't, she wouldn't do it now. She's hurting, Ethan. She's hurting so much and I don't know if it's ever going to stop. So if I can take even a little bit of her pain away by paying her rent…"

Ethan nodded. "Okay."

"She'll pay me back soon," said Cal. "And then I'll be able to pay you."

A look of doubt crossed Ethan's face, but he hid it quickly. "And at least it's only _one_ thousand pounds this time. There is that, I suppose."

Cal tried to keep his face impassive.

"Caleb?" Ethan's voice sharpened. "Are you saying it's more?"

Cal decided he'd better tell him. "Emma wants to move out. She can't afford the rent on her own and it upsets her to be there. But the landlord wants three months' notice."

"But you didn't give it to her," said Ethan. He looked worriedly at Cal. "Did you?"

"No, I didn't give it to her," said Cal. "I haven't got that much money." His eyes veered away from Ethan's gaze. "But I…. I might have kind of…."

Ethan raised his eyes to the ceiling. "You promised her the money, didn't you, Caleb? You promised her money you don't have."

"I thought I might… borrow it?" said Cal awkwardly, still not looking at Ethan.

"He thought he might borrow it," Ethan said disbelievingly to the empty air. "And I wonder who he thought he was going to borrow it from."

"It wouldn't really be _me_ you're lending it to," said Cal desperately. "It'll be Emma. I'll just be carrying the money from your house to hers. I'm just the courier."

"Sorry," said Ethan. "No."

Cal felt desperation building up. "But you've got to! How's she going to manage?"

"She can take out a loan," said Ethan. "Either from the bank or a loan company. It's the best way, Caleb. I won't be giving you £3000 and you'd better not even think about getting it from me any other way."

Cal's voice was choked. "I won't, Ethan. I won't do that again. I won't."

"But I'll make a few phone calls tomorrow and see exactly what Emma's options are," said Ethan. "Then I can put her in touch with the right people and they'll deal with the rent as well as any other financial problems." His face was serious. "Cal… did it really not occur to you that you could have done that?"

Silently, Cal shook his head.

"Well… you know now," said Ethan. "You'll know for next time. I know you wanted to help Emma and that's not a bad thing. But that doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to pass their problem on to someone who's better-equipped to help than you." Ethan's voice was gentle. "Superman helps a lot of people, but I don't remember him ever paying a girl's rent for her."

"No." Cal's voice was almost a whisper.

Ethan gave a heavy sigh, but when he spoke, he sounded calm. "Don't worry. It will be all right."

"I will pay you what I owe you," said Cal.

"I know," said Ethan. He couldn't have known, but the lecture was obviously over for tonight. "You should get some sleep. You've had another difficult day."

Cal nodded and got to his feet. He started to leave the room, but then he stopped. For a long moment, he said nothing; he just stared in front of him. Then he slowly turned around. He couldn't see into Ethan's face, but perhaps that would make it easier. "Ethan?"

It was only a whisper, but Ethan heard. He turned to face Cal. "Yes?"

Now Ethan was looking at him, Cal didn't think he could do it. He swallowed and looked somewhere above Ethan's head. "Ethan… I… I…."

He stopped and sneaked a glance at Ethan. His eyes were on Cal, steady and calm.

"I'm… sorry," whispered Cal. His eyes filled with tears and he quickly turned away.

"I know you are," said Ethan. Cal heard his footsteps and felt Ethan's hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Cal. We'll get through this. And so will Emma."

* * *

Cal slept a lot better than he was expecting to, but he still felt tired the next day. He spoke to Emma in the morning to let her know that Ethan had some ideas about how she could get some financial help until she was able to use the joint bank account. "They should be able to help you deal with your landlord as well as helping you find new accommodation."

"When?" said Emma. "Doug says he wants the rent today. By 4pm. He put a note through my door."

"I'm sure we can sort something out before then," said Cal. Actually he had no idea, but Ethan seemed confident that something could be done and presumably he knew what he was talking about.

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. "Will I have to talk to them?" Emma asked, her words almost a sigh.

"Yes, but you won't have to do it on your own," said Cal. "You'll have your social worker to help."

"It's so hard," said Emma. She sounded lost. "Everything's hard. I'll have to talk. I'll have to think of the words."

"I know, but they'll understand it's difficult for you at the moment," said Cal. "They probably help people like you all the time. They'll be patient. They'll help you find the words."

"It's just… all these strangers," said Emma, her voice wavering. "All these people I don't know. Izzy and Georgia usually dealt with Doug. I only met my social worker yesterday. It's all so hard, Cal."

"I know, Emma," said Cal. He heard the sadness in her voice and felt sad himself. One moment and her world was gone. "But you will get through this. I'm sure you will."

"Cal?" The name was a sob.

"I'm here, Emma."

"Will you come with me? When I see them?"

Cal hesitated. He knew Ethan wanted him to take a step back and not be so involved in Emma's life, but he didn't really see how he could do that. Emma needed a friend and he was all she had. "I'll try, Emma. I'll see if I can get some time off work. I can't promise, but I will do my best."

"Thank you," said Emma.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" said Cal. "I don't start work for a while. So even if you just need to talk, I'm here."

"I don't know… what to say." Emma's voice was faint. "Everything hurts."

"Your wrist?" said Cal.

"No. Yes. I don't know," said Emma. "Just everything. Cal?"

"Yes?"

"Can you talk to me?" said Emma. "I just want to hear your voice."

* * *

Ethan was as good as his word. He made the phone calls as soon as their office hours allowed, and then went to find Cal. Cal was in cubicles, helping an elderly lady who was experiencing heart palpitations. Ethan said he'd come back later, but Cal couldn't wait.

"There's nothing more I can do just now anyway – I just need to find someone to do an ECG."

Rita was quickly located and dispatched to perform the task. Ethan and Cal went to a quiet corner.

"I've phoned Citizens Advice and explained the situation. They think they'll be able to help and they've agreed to see Emma at 11.30am and discuss her options for an emergency loan. There will be a housing advisor present at the meeting who, as well as giving advice, also has experience in dealing with threatening behaviour from landlords. I also spoke to the housing department of the local council and there is a slight concern that Emma might be considered to have made herself voluntarily homeless, but in the circumstances it should be possible to get around that. It'll just take a bit longer, that's all. Will you let Emma know what we've arranged?"

"I'll do that now," said Cal. "I've already told her that you're talking to a few people. Is Emma's social worker going to the meeting?"

"I couldn't get in touch with her and she probably wouldn't be allowed to speak to me anyway, but Emma's seeing her at ten so she can take care of that," said Ethan.

Cal agreed and was about to go and get on with his work, but Ethan put a hand on his arm.

"Cal. You do know that everything I've done for Emma today wasn't really my job?"

Cal fought down his annoyance. "Yes, I know and I'm very grateful. Okay?"

"I didn't mean that," said Ethan. "I just mean we've done all we can for her now. She's in the hands of the social workers and Citizens' Advice. It might be best if you took a step back now, Cal. For your sake."


	12. Chapter 12

**Tanith Panic**, aw thank you! As for whether Cal can take a step back, you'll have to read on and find out! Thank you for your lovely reviews.

**Minnie4114**, I'm so glad you've still been reading! There won't be any three-way interaction in the next few chapters, but Ethan does start getting properly involved from Chapter 15. I hope that's not too long to wait! Thank you for your review.

* * *

Cal stared at his brother in confused disbelief. "You seriously expect me to leave her now? She has no-one, Ethan. No-one. I'm the only friend she's got. I won't give her any more money if you think Citizens' Advice can take care of all that, though if all they're going to do is recommend a loan company, I still think she's better off borrowing from you. At least you won't try to cheat her. But she needs a friend and I'm going to go on being her friend for as long as she needs me." His next words were spoken with quiet emphasis. "And I do mean just her friend."

Ethan nodded quickly. "Yes, I know. I don't mean that. I'm just thinking of you, Cal. I don't want you to get hurt. You obviously think quite a lot of Emma."

"You would too if you'd seen her in that car," said Cal. As he remembered, he felt a wave of admiration, quickly followed by sadness. "She was incredible. She was frightened to death, but she was so calm. She was doing everything she could to stop Georgia from bleeding and she kept talking to them. She was so reassuring and kind. She was even making jokes. Not in a bad way. Just… affectionate. Like she might have teased them if they were awake."

"She does sound…" Ethan paused and then chose Cal's word. "…incredible. She coped extremely well in a difficult situation where no-one could have blamed her for panicking."

"But now she's not coping," said Cal. "Now she needs a friend who can talk to her and maybe help with a few things around the house."

A muscle twitched in Ethan's face as though he was trying not to laugh at the idea of Cal helping around the house, but then he became serious again. "You've obviously already made up your mind. But you need to realise, Cal. You don't owe Emma anything. She's been discharged from hospital. I know it's difficult when someone is vulnerable and alone and they really need help, but that doesn't mean you're under any obligation to help her."

"I know I'm not under any obligation," said Cal. "I'm choosing to help her."

Ethan looked only marginally reassured. "Okay. But please, Cal. Be careful. If she asks you to do anything else major like lending her money – or if she's in a situation where you can see she needs money - don't just tell her you'll do it. Think about it first or better yet discuss it with somebody before you make a decision."

"Somebody like you?" said Cal. "Yes, because you're noted for your social successes."

"It doesn't have to be me," said Ethan. "Just someone. Someone you can trust." His voice filled with sudden emotion. "I can see you want to protect Emma, but I want to protect you."

"I don't need you to-"

"I don't want Emma to twist you round her little finger and then drop you."

"She's not going to-"

"I'm not saying she's doing it intentionally, but she's vulnerable and needy," said Ethan. "She'll hang on with all her strength to anyone who offers her support at the moment. But then she'll recover and then she won't need you anymore, or not in the same way, and where's that going to leave you?"

"I'll be fine," said Cal, trying to ignore the unrest inside him as he thought about Emma managing without him. "I don't care about anyone but myself, remember? I'll be fine."

* * *

Cal took an early lunch break and got a taxi to Emma's house. He had a feeling Ethan might have driven him, if only so he could have a few words with Emma and check for himself that she wasn't about to take every penny Cal possessed (though in truth she'd all but done that already), but Ethan was covering for him and he thought it would be more difficult if Ethan was there. For a start, Ethan would find out that Emma didn't live in a nice flat and the rent she was being charged was extortionate, but his main worry was that Ethan would put pressure on her. Ethan might know more than Cal about social services and citizens' advice, but Cal knew a lot more about Emma.

Besides, Cal had some difficult questions to ask her and he felt it would be much easier if it was just the two of them.

Cal paid the taxi fare with only the smallest wince, but didn't give the driver a tip. The fare wasn't that much, but he was aware his bank balance was getting lower and lower, and considering all the loan repayments he was making every month, it wasn't as though the situation would improve significantly once pay day arrived.

He sent Emma a text, guessing she would be reluctant to answer the door unless she knew the identity of the visitor, but soon he was in the flat and Cal was hugging her. He then held her art arm's length, examining her face. The only colour in her face was the redness around her eyes; she wasn't wearing any make-up. Her clothes were fashionable and attractive, but the top and trousers were mismatched, as though Emma had grabbed the first items of clothing to come to hand. She was wearing the sling, but he could see it was clumsily tied and that her wrist wasn't properly supported. "How are you, Emma?"

"I'm… functioning," said Emma.

"That's good," said Cal. "You're doing really well. Let's sit down and I'll sort your sling out for you."

Emma's voice was soft. "I tried to do it. I couldn't. I asked my social worker, but she said I needed to learn to do it for myself."

Cal could see her point, but he still felt angry. He felt the social worker wasn't doing nearly enough to help Emma and the fact that she apparently hadn't waited to attend the appointment with her didn't help raise her in his estimation. "It is difficult putting them on yourself, but there is a way of doing it. I'm sorry: I should have showed you before."

"You've done so much for me already," said Emma.

"But obviously not enough if I didn't explain how to look after your injury," said Cal guiltily. He showed her how and let her practise a couple of times, but then he stopped her. "That's enough for now. You can practise again when we get back. The problem with slings – and with any kind of support bandage – is that taking them on and off does usually put pressure on the injured body part." Cal was very aware of just how true this was because he had to get the bandage off his ankle every time he showered. "But soon you'll know the best and most painless way of doing it."

Emma nodded, but didn't say anything else. Cal made tea and sat beside her on the sofa. He noticed that the laptop and papers he'd moved were in exactly the same place. In fact, everything seemed to be as he'd left it. Cal watched her from the corner of his eye, wondering if he should speak. He knew she was hurting and thought everything might hurt a little bit less if he distracted her, but he knew that focusing on something else would be a mental strain. There was no sense in tiring her before they went to the meeting. He took hold of her uninjured hand so she knew he was there. She turned and gave him a small smile and he knew he'd done the right thing.

"Okay, Emma: we should probably get ready to go now," Cal said after about five minutes of silence. "I'll phone for a taxi."

Emma nodded, but didn't get up. "I need shoes… coat…"

The shoes she'd worn the day before were on the floor. Cal got them for her. "I'll put them on for you, okay? I'm sure you can manage, but if there is an alternative to causing yourself more pain, it's usually a good idea to take it."

Emma didn't argue. Cal helped her put her coat on too. When the taxi arrived, they sat together in the back seat as Cal held her hand and tried to reassure her. "I know it's going to be difficult, Emma, but you'll be fine. And you're not going through this alone. I'm here."

* * *

The meeting wasn't very helpful. They gave Emma advice about borrowing money and how to deal with difficult landlords, but they weren't able to provide much help with housing, other than providing her details of other flats she could rent. Cal could tell it was all too much for her. It was possible she hadn't done anything like this before if one or more of her friends had taken responsibility, but even when you did have extensive experience, a shock like this could leave you incapable of anything.

"It'll be okay," Cal said on the journey home. "I'll help you with everything. I'll speak to the landlords and have a look at the flats. I'll help you sort out the loan. We've still got an hour or so before I'm expected back at the hospital."

He didn't want to put Emma through the stress of looking for a flat now, but he decided they really needed to take out the loan straight away. He briefly considered taking it out in his own name, but he knew that with his credit rating, it would probably either be declined or the interest rate would be ridiculous. He took her to the bank, explained the situation with the joint account, and told her she'd done really well when she walked away with £4000 in her purse.

Back at the flat, he made Emma some lunch and did her best to persuade her to eat it. She said she wasn't hungry and kept staring off into the distance, apparently forgetting the food was there at all. With Cal's encouragement, she managed to eat a small amount.

After lunch, Cal washed up. His ankle was aching after so much walking, but it couldn't be helped. At least he had two hands. There were so many things he needed to say and he didn't know where to start. For a moment, it all seemed too much and he wished Ethan was there to shoulder some of the burden, but he told himself he was being silly. He could cope with this. He didn't need his little brother.

"Emma, I need to talk to you," he said. "About the support you're getting."

Emma turned to face him. She looked at him for a moment and he could see the almost physical effort of thought. "The social worker said she'd come every weekday."

"But probably not for very long," said Cal. "Of course, I'm going to support you as much as I can, but there's only so much I can do. I won't be able to take time off work every day. Ethan's covering for me, but I can't expect him to do that all the time. I think you need some more people to help you. Do you know the people who live in the flat below you?"

"Doug lives there," said Emma. "He's not going to help me."

Cal could only agree with that. "Is there anyone else you know in the area? Your neighbours?"

Emma shook her head. "I've only really spoken to them when they complained about the noise."

"Do you think any of them might help if you asked them?" said Cal.

"They're strangers," said Emma. "I had my friends, Cal. I didn't need anybody else."

Cal nodded thoughtfully. He imagined at least some of them would be a lot more willing to help than Emma thought, but he understood why she wouldn't want to ask for help from strangers, particularly when their only interaction was based on complaints. "Emma, I don't want to upset you. I know this is a difficult subject for you. But what about your family?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Tanith Panic**, thank you so much. I'm glad you find it interesting. It really means a lot that you're still reading it.

I hope everyone else is still enjoying it too.

* * *

He saw Emma's body become rigid. "I don't want to tell them."

"But they'll have to know eventually, won't they?" said Cal.

"Why?" jerked out Emma.

"Well, won't they ask after your friends at some point?" said Cal.

Emma's face was hard. "That would be a first. They never approved of them when they were alive so it would be a bit hypocritical of them to change now."

Cal took her hand in his. "Emma, what happened? I know it's not really my business, but I'm worried about you. I know family life can be difficult. Families can hurt you more than anyone else in the world. But they usually do love each other, even when they have a funny way of showing it. Sometimes it's not too late to make things better."

"It's much too late!" said Emma. Her eyes filled with tears. "And that's fine with me. It's fine. I don't want to see them again. I don't want them to see that all my dreams came to nothing. I don't want to go crawling back to them like they told me I would."

"But your dreams didn't come to nothing," said Cal. He watched in agony as her tears began to fall. "I know it was far too short, but you were successful and you were happy. You made other people happy. And if it does all have to end now, that's not your fault. It was an accident, Emma. It's tragic, but it's no-one's fault."

"But they won't see it like that," sobbed Emma. "All they'll see is that it didn't last long. Like they predicted. I know that if I went back to them, they'd support me, but only because they feel it's their duty. They'd make sure I knew how lucky I was. They'd tell me that other families wouldn't support me like they have. They'd make sure I knew I'd disappointed them again."

Cal put his arm around her. "They have no reason to feel disappointed with you."

Emma rested her head against his shoulder and cried. Cal kept telling her it would be okay, but he knew it was only words and doubted they could provide any real comfort. But he didn't stop and he didn't let go. For whatever reason, whether by choice or not, everyone else in Emma's life had let go of her and now she was falling, with only Cal there to catch her.

He knew that supporting her wouldn't be easy, but whatever Ethan said, he would never take a step back and leave her to face the world alone. He couldn't.

He knew he hadn't always been a good brother. He certainly hadn't been a good son. There were even times when he hadn't been a good doctor. But now he had the chance to be there for someone who really needed him more than anyone else in the world. Cal didn't think he'd ever been in that position before. No-one had ever relied on him so completely. He doubted anyone had ever believed they could.

It was Cal's turn to be a safety net and he couldn't to mess it up.

"All I ever wanted was to make them proud, Cal, but they expected so much," said Emma. "They wanted me to go to university and be something intelligent. I would have done it, Cal. I would have done it for them. But I'm not clever, Cal. Not clever enough for them. I managed to get into sixth form, but the only 'proper' subject I did was English. My parents hoped it I could become a head teacher one day, and I did apply to do a teaching degree, but I didn't get any offers. So I went to performing arts college with my friends. It was scary being out in the world, but they looked after me. I earned money. I made people happy. I felt like I was achieving something at last. But now they've gone and I'm nothing and there's nothing I can do."

"No, you're not nothing," said Cal. He put his hand on her cheek and turned her face towards him. "You've done so many things that would make most parents proud. You set up your own business and made it a success. Do you know how many people have tried to do that and failed? You did a good job and acquired a good reputation. You were honest with your clients when you felt you couldn't give them what they wanted. But it's more than that, Emma. It wasn't just your friends looking after you. You looked after Georgia, didn't you? You learned about her condition and even though you were injured and shocked, you remembered what to do and looked after her as well as anyone could. You stayed calm and supported them and you were just incredible. I haven't known you for long, Emma, but _I'm _proud of you."

For a moment, Emma's eyes sparkled with something other than tears. But then she lowered her head. "Cal, it means such a lot that you said that. I think you probably mean it too."

"I mean every word."

"But I'm not usually like that," said Emma. "I've always been the stupid one who messes up."

"Not to me," said Cal. "I'll never think you're stupid, Emma. Because you're not."

He felt Emma relax, but he knew it was tiredness rather than anything else. She leaned against him heavily and her eyes closed. "I'm not telling my parents, Cal."

"You don't have to," said Cal. "You've still got me. And I'm proud of you." He stroked her hair. "Very proud."

* * *

The afternoon dragged. It wasn't as though there was nothing for Cal to do. He helped saved three lives, as well as helping numerous other patients, but all he wanted was for his shift to end so he could get back to Emma. Several times, he caught Ethan looking at him very seriously, but he didn't say anything to Cal that wasn't connected with work, except once when he noticed Cal was limping and told him to go and have a rest. Cal did as he was told only because it gave him a chance to look for flats for Emma on the internet. They hadn't talked about it very much as Emma had been so upset. They hadn't phoned her clients either, but Cal had promised to come and see her once he'd finished work.

Citizens' Advice had suggested a couple of websites where Emma might find a suitable flat, but Cal wasn't sure about any of them. He knew they were perfectly adequate, but he wanted Emma to live somewhere better. The trouble with the flats that he deemed good enough was that they were likely to be outside her price range. She wasn't working at the moment and finding a job wouldn't be easy.

Everything would be difficult, Cal realised in frustration as he dropped his phone onto the chair beside him. Emma didn't need to be in a completely unfamiliar flat. She needed to be with people who cared about her – and unfortunately there was only one person like that.

"Ethan, I need to talk to you," said Cal when he next encountered his brother.

"I'm busy," said Ethan, but Cal gripped his arms.

"No. I need to talk to you now."

"I have a patient waiting."

"Then let them wait!" said Cal, more loudly than he'd intended to.

Ethan looked alarmed, but at least he stopped arguing. "We'll go outside. Come on." He led Cal to a bench. "What's happened? What's wrong?"

"I think Emma should move in with us," said Cal.

"No," said Ethan. He stood up. "If that's all you've got to say-"

"No, please listen!" The desperation in Cal's voice surprised himself as well as Ethan. "Please, Ethan."

Ethan sat down again. "Caleb, I know Emma needs help, but I'm not sure you're the right person to give it." He gestured towards Cal. "Look at what it's doing to you."

Cal took a ragged breath. "I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing wrong with me." He received an incredulous look from Ethan. "I'm just worried, that's all. Anyone would be."

"Not this worried," said Ethan. "I'm sure the social worker is worried, but she isn't going to offer Emma a home."

"I don't mean forever, Ethan. I just mean till she's found a place of her own," said Cal desperately. "Citizens' Advice have given her some websites and I said I'd help her, but she's not up to making any big decisions at the moment. She just needs somewhere to go for a while so she can recover and be looked after. Just for a couple of weeks."

Ethan's voice was kind. "I agree it would be good for her to go somewhere, but I don't think it's a good idea for her to move in with us. You're under so much pressure already – pressure you're putting yourself under – and I think it will only get worse if you're with Emma all the time."

"I'm not under pressure!" said Cal. His voice was strained. "Or if I am it's because I'm worried about her and I'll worry about her less if she's somewhere where I can keep an eye on her."

Ethan shook his head sadly. "No, Cal. You need to spend less time with Emma, not more. You need to relax. Try to let go of your thoughts. When you're with her, maybe there are things you can do to help, but when you're not with her, there's nothing you can do. You need to think about other things. Focus on yourself. Close your eyes for a minute, Cal."

"What?"

"Just close your eyes and let go of your thoughts about Emma."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. You've got to think of Emma more like a patient. Of course we worry about our patients sometimes. We can't help it. But when we leave the ED, we switch off from everything. Sometimes it's not possible, but that's what we always try to do. That's what keeps us sane."

"But Emma's not just a patient!" said Cal. "She's my friend."

Ethan looked even more concerned, but his voice remained calm. "Yes, all right. But you can't worry about your friends 24/7 either. I'm worried about you at the moment – I'm very worried about you – but I'm trying not to spend the whole time stressing about it."

"You can't be that worried then!" said Cal.

"Oh, believe me, I am," said Ethan. "I can focus on my work when I have to, but the rest of the time… but we're not talking about me, Caleb."

"No, we're talking about Emma."

Ethan spoke soothingly. "Yes, that's right. I think maybe the best thing would be if Emma went to stay with her family."

"She can't!" Cal almost shouted. "Aren't you listening to me? She can't!"

Ethan put his hands on Cal's shoulders. "Close your eyes, Cal. Close your eyes and breathe. Just focus on your breathing. I'm not going anywhere. We can carry on talking in a minute. It's okay, Cal. It's not going to hurt Emma if you spend a couple of minutes not thinking about her."

Cal closed his eyes and breathed, but his thoughts kept on racing. Why wouldn't Ethan let Emma come and live with them? Couldn't he see that she needed help?


	14. Chapter 14

**AVMabs**, thank you for your review - it's nice that you're identifying with Emma, especially as she's an OC. Good luck with all your auditioning - there are lots of ways to get where you want to be, just don't give up on your dream.

**Tanith Panic**, I'm really sorry if it was boring, but I'm glad you enjoyed the friction. There's a bit more in this chapter, with quite a lot more to come! Thanks for another lovely review.

**I hope everyone is still enjoying this - I'm afraid there's quite a lot of OC stuff in this chapter, though it's all from Cal's POV so he's always there. I think maybe I've got a bit too caught up in the plot and forgotten it's supposed to be a Casualty fanfiction.**

* * *

"There: that's better." Ethan's voice was soothing. "Keep breathing. Just a bit longer. That's right. You can open your eyes now." He let go of Cal's shoulders. "Do you feel any better?"

Cal realised he did, just slightly. He opened his eyes. "How about for one week? Or just a couple of nights?"

There were signs of frustration on Ethan's face, but they were quickly hidden. "Where would she sleep, Caleb?"

"In my bed," said Cal.

Ethan turned away, an expression of disgust on his face. "I don't think so."

"I don't mean with me! I'll sleep on the sofa," said Cal.

"You won't do any such thing. You'll get backache and then you'll be in an even worse state," said Ethan. "Cal, I know you want to help her, but I really don't think it's a good idea for her to come and stay with us. I really think she'd be better off with her family."

"She doesn't speak to her family," said Cal.

"Maybe now is a good time to change that," said Ethan. "There are times when I don't like you, Caleb. There are times when I really hate you. You know that. But when you need me, I always come back to you, don't I?"

Cal nodded. "You do. Except for now."

"But you're not asking me to help you. You're asking me to help a former patient who I hardly know," said Ethan. "When _you_ need me, I'm always here. I'm here for you now. I should be with my patient, but you said you needed me."

Cal turned away from him. "What do you want: a medal?"

"No, though a thank-you wouldn't go amiss," said Ethan.

Cal sighed and pulled his hands through his hair. "I don't need this, Ethan. I don't need stress from you too."

"I'm not trying to stress you," said Ethan. "I'm just saying that I'm here with you now because you need me. Despite all the problems we've had. How do you know it won't be like that with Emma's family too? A lot of families become closer when something terrible happens."

Cal had to admit he had a point. He'd always had a lot to blame Ethan for, though perhaps not all of it was completely his fault, but that didn't stop him from going to Ethan when he needed help. It was also true about families. He'd seen it happen in the ED, as well as in his relationship with Ethan.

"I really need to go now," Ethan said apologetically. "But you are feeling a bit better now, aren't you?"

"Yes," said Cal. "A little bit."

"Good." Ethan looked relieved. "We'll talk more after work."

Cal nodded. It wasn't until Ethan had gone that he remembered he was supposed to be seeing Emma after work. But it was too late to go after him now.

Cal needed to be getting back to work too, but he stayed where he was. An idea was ticking over in his mind. An idea of how to help Emma.

* * *

Cal had entered Emma's parents' number into his phone at the first opportunity, but this was the first time he'd seriously considered using it. There were warning voices in his head saying he shouldn't be doing this; it was none of his business and he should respect Emma's wishes.

But he had to do something. Emma would never make contact with her parents if it was up to her, but maybe if Cal explained how amazing she was, they'd see it for themselves and want to help their beautiful, brave daughter.

"Hello, my name's Cal Knight. I'm a friend of Emma's. Is that Mrs Silver?

"I'm Emma's mother, yes. My name's Claire Silbertson. Emma changed her name for professional reasons." Her voice was formal and lacking in warmth, but that wasn't necessarily because she was angry with Emma. She was probably just wondering who Cal was and why he was phoning. "How can I help you, Mr Knight? I assume you're phoning about Emma?"

"It's Dr Knight, but please call me Cal," said Cal. "I'm a friend of Emma's. I don't think you're aware of this, but Emma and her friends were in a car accident a few days ago. Emma has a distal radial fracture of the… I mean she has a broken wrist."

"Oh my God! Is she okay?"

"She's progressing well, physically," said Cal. "The wrist isn't too much of a problem, except of course that she can't use it. She's in a bit of pain, but we expect her to make a full recovery."

"Poor Emma: she must be feeling awful," said Claire. "She won't be able to play music and she probably can't dance either. So she doesn't even have that to comfort her. Of course, she is very close to those friends of hers..."

"Emma's friends were involved in the accident too," said Cal. "They weren't so lucky. I'm very sorry to say they all passed away."

"Oh, those poor girls!" said Claire Silbertson. "And poor Emma! She really thinks of those girls as family. She must be distraught."

"She is. Completely," said Cal. "But she was fantastic when the accident happened. She stayed calm and did her best to treat Georgia's injuries. I was present at the scene and helped as much as I could, but there wasn't really much I could do. Emma had it all covered. She was so calm and loving towards her friends and her courage was incredible. I'm really proud of her so I can only imagine how you must feel."

"But why didn't anyone tell me this before?" said Claire. "It happened a few days ago, you say?"

Cal hesitated. "Emma didn't want to worry you so she asked us not to contact you. We respected her wishes. But Emma's really struggling now and there's a problem with the place where she's living. It's too big and too expensive for one person, but because of her injury and the shock, I don't think it would be good for Emma to be alone in an unfamiliar flat. She needs to be around people who can support her."

"Oh, yes, of course," said Claire. "Thank you for letting me know… Cal, was it? We'll come up and collect Emma tonight and take her home with us. We'll look after her. Don't worry. She's… she's in her flat, you say?"

"That's right."

There was a short silence. "Could you tell me the address? We do have it around here somewhere, of course, but I'm not sure where and you don't want to guess with something like that…"

Cal conceded that if Emma's parents' flat was as cluttered as her own, the address could be anywhere. He gave Claire the address.

"Oh yes: that's what I thought. We'll see Emma tonight then, Cal. We should be with her by eight o'clock. Thank you for looking after her for us. I'm glad she has a friend like you. I hope we'll get to meet you, though I doubt we'll stay for long. I just want to bring Emma home so we can look after her."

"Of course," said Cal, feeling the relief coursing through his body. Ethan had been right. Her mother, at least, was willing to forget the past and welcome her daughter home. "I hope I'll get to meet you too, but I completely agree with you. Emma is our priority."

* * *

When his shift finished, Cal managed to get away without seeing Ethan. He got a taxi to Emma's house and climbed the steps to the front door. His ankle was barely twinging at all now and he hoped that soon, he'd be able to take off the boot and put his shoe on, but for now, he had other things to think about.

When Emma let him into the flat, Cal gave her a hug and asked her how she was.

"Tired," said Emma. "Confused. In pain. Cold. Sad. Alone."

"You're not alone now," said Cal.

Emma leaned against him. "And I need to tell my clients, but I can't." She gave a sob.

"I can help you with that if you like," said Cal. He led Emma over to the sofa and they sat down. "If you give me the numbers, I'll phone everyone now."

Emma looked quite shocked. "You can't do that! I mean, thank you, Cal. I wish you could. But it's my company. My responsibility. I've left it too long already."

"In the circumstances, that's understandable," said Cal.

"But it's not what we do," said Emma dully. "If we can't do something, we always get back to them. Promptly. All day, ever since you left, I've been trying to do it, Cal. Trying to find the words. Trying to find the courage. But there's nothing there and most of the time, I don't even feel afraid. There's just a long, cold sadness. Between me and the phone. Me and the rest of the world. And I can't break through it. I tell myself to move towards the phone, but my body doesn't move."

Cal hugged her for a moment, unable to think what to say. He looked around the room and found Emma's mobile. "Well, here's the phone. Do you know what you're going to say now?"

"I suppose I'll say we can't do it after all and I'll explain why."

Cal shook his head. "You don't have to explain why. That's private."

"We always give full reasons why we can't do something," said Emma. "We… why do I keep saying we?" Her voice rose to a wail. "There is no we! It's just me. Just me. No friends. No family. No business. All alone."

"Not all alone," said Cal. "I'm here, Emma. And if you're sure you want to make the calls, I'll be here. I'll do anything I can."

Emma spent a while thinking about this, but then she nodded. "I need the laptop. I should know who each client is and what they want. I always know. But now I don't know."

"That's understandable," said Cal. "When you're hurting so much, there isn't room in your head for anything else." He picked up the laptop from the floor and put it gently on Emma's lap. "Is that okay? It's not too heavy?"

"Not as heavy as the weight on my heart," said Emma.

* * *

Cal left Emma's flat shortly before eight o'clock. He didn't want to interrupt the family reunion.

He'd spent the whole time wondering if he ought to tell Emma, but he'd decided against it. He knew that if he did tell her, she'd be apprehensive; terrified. Angry with Cal. Probably unable to trust him again – a thought Cal pushed to the back of his mind because he disliked it so much. But if he didn't tell her, she wouldn't have to worry about anything until her parents were there and she could see for herself how much they loved and missed her.

And then Emma's parents would take her away and Cal might never see her again.

As Cal was driven home in the taxi, he realised just how much he hated the idea of saying goodbye. He felt as though he'd grown close to her; he'd certainly become involved in her life. And he liked her. He really did like her. Even now, when she was so unhappy, he could see the strength and the courage she'd possessed, which had so impressed him when they'd first met. Emma was struggling, but she was determined to fight and see this through.

The reaction from the clients had been mixed. Some had been annoyed. Some had been sympathetic. Emma had needed a cry and a cuddle in between most of the phone calls, but she'd done it all. All Cal had done was sit with his arms around her, but apparently that had made the difference.

He didn't know how to describe the way it made him feel. He didn't think he'd ever been that important to someone before. Of course, he was a doctor and he helped people all the time. He'd saved lives. But this was different. The patients in the hospital just wanted a doctor. For the most part, though Cal hated to admit it, any doctor would have done. Perhaps they weren't all as quick as him and or as intelligent, but most could have done what he'd done.

But Emma needed Caleb Knight, the individual. Ethan Hardy was no good to her: too scary, apparently. Emma needed Cal and only Cal, and he had helped her.

And in a very short time, she would discover exactly how much.


	15. Chapter 15

**Tanith Panic**, aw thank you! Your comment was so kind and it really helped. Thank you so much for continuing to read and write reviews.

* * *

Ethan kept shooting Cal suspicious looks all though dinner, but it wasn't until they'd finished eating that Ethan asked what Cal had done.

"Done?" said Cal innocently. "I don't think I've done anything, have I?"

Ethan gave Cal a stern look. "Come on. Out with it, Caleb."

Cal had to admit he was quite pleased to be asked. He'd been wanting to tell Ethan for ages, but he'd held back because… well, he wasn't sure quite why. Partly because he didn't want to boast, but there was definitely also a bit of concern that Ethan wouldn't approve. Even Cal wasn't sure he approved, but he'd so far done a good job of not thinking about that. "Emma's parents are going to see her tonight."

Ethan looked startled, but then he smiled warmly at Cal. "Well done. I thought you could probably talk her into it, but I didn't think it would happen this quickly."

If Ethan had just said 'well done' and left it at that or perhaps made no comment at all, perhaps Cal could have changed the subject. But to hear him congratulate Cal so sincerely caused the guilt to rise to the surface and made him question his actions all over again.

Cal coughed to hide his confusion and then looked everywhere but at Ethan.

"Caleb?" Ethan's voice had an edge.

"Yes?" Cal tried to sound innocent again. He sneaked a glance at Ethan. Ethan was looking at him with dawning horror.

"You didn't."

"Didn't what?"

Ethan's voice rose. "You did it without Emma's permission, didn't you?"

Cal nodded cautiously. "I thought that would be best. You said she needed her family around her and I didn't think she'd ever agree if I asked her. But I thought if she could see for herself how much her parents cared about her…"

His voice trailed away as he saw the look on Ethan's face. "But she trusted you, Caleb. You were probably the only person she did trust."

"You've changed your tune!" Cal said angrily, though his anger came partly from fear that Ethan was right. "First you say she needs to be reconciled with her family. So I sort that out and now you're saying I betrayed her? By doing what you told me?"

"Don't pin it all on me." Ethan held his hands up, his palms outwards. "Perhaps I could have been clearer, but I really expected even you to work out that you had no right to contact her parents. How did you get the number…" Ethan broke off. "No. Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

Cal lowered his gaze. Guilt was crowding into his chest and the pride he'd felt was swiftly draining away. He'd wanted to play the hero and make everything better, but he shouldn't have gone against Emma's wishes in order to achieve it. "I didn't just phone them up and tell them Emma's address. I wouldn't do that. I didn't give them her address till I'd gauged their reaction."

"Do you really think that makes it any better?"

"Yes! I wouldn't have given them her address if they'd seemed unsympathetic!" Cal shouted back. "But Emma's mum was really worried."

Ethan took a couple of deep breaths. "And it didn't occur to you that there might be a reason why Emma hadn't told her parents where she was living?"

"She did tell them!" said Cal. "Her mum had the address. She just wasn't sure where she'd put it and if her house is half as much of a mess as Emma's flat…"

"And you believed her," said Ethan scathingly. "Just like you always do. A woman spins you a sob story and you believe every word."

Cal glared at him. "I hardly think going round disbelieving everything that's said to me is going to get me very far."

"Neither is believing everything!" said Ethan. "Caleb, something was obviously a bit wrong. If a mother wants to improve her relationship with her daughter, she wouldn't lose her address and the fact Emma didn't want you to contact them should have been a warning sign too."

Cal got to his feet. "Don't try to say this is all my fault," he said as he pointed his finger into Ethan's face. "You are the only reason I contacted them. If you hadn't kept on about how Emma needs her family, I would never have done it. If you'd agreed when I'd asked you to let Emma move in with us, this never would have happened."

"This is so typical of you," said Ethan. He was on his feet too now. "You mess up so you blame someone else."

"I'm not blaming you!" shouted Cal. "I'm just telling you not to blame me."

"Okay." Ethan had plainly had enough. "I've given you my opinion. There's nothing to be gained by giving it again."

"I don't know why you're complaining anyway," said Cal. "If Emma never speaks to me again, you'll get what you want, won't you?"

Ethan sighed and took a step towards him. "Of course that's not what I want. If you and Emma can form a real friendship, I think that would be great for both of you. I just don't want you to get hurt, Cal. I can see how much you've grown to care about Emma in just a few days. I can see how important she is to you and I know you're important to Emma too."

"I'm all she's got," Cal said in a low voice.

Ethan nodded. "But I don't think you want the same things from the friendship. I'm worried one of you is going to get hurt in the end. I don't want it to be you again."

* * *

Cal and Ethan had called an uneasy truce. They were watching a box set which neither of them were enjoying. There was too much action and too little plot for Ethan's liking and Cal couldn't concentrate. He kept thinking of Emma.

What if Ethan was right? What if he had made things worse?

He jumped when his phone rang and knocked it onto the floor. If that had happened to Ethan, Cal would probably have teased him about it, but Ethan said nothing. He kept his gaze on the TV, though his body moved almost imperceptibly towards Cal's.

Cal answered the phone. "Emma? Are you okay?"

Emma was sobbing breathlessly. "Cal, I'm scared. They'll come after me. I know they will. I ran out of the flat, but they'll come after me. I don't know where to go. Cal, I know you were trying to help me, but you shouldn't have done it and now I don't know what to do!"

Cal was aware Ethan was looking at him and guessed he must have betrayed some sign of his distress, but he couldn't worry about that now. "Where are you, Emma? I'll come and pick you up. I'm sorry about what I did, but I'll look after you now. I'll do the right thing."

"Caleb-" Ethan began in a whisper, but Cal held up his hand for silence.

"I don't know," sobbed Emma. "Somewhere. I don't know where to go. They might come looking for me."

Cal heard the terror in her voice and shame filled him as he realised he was the one who'd put it there. "Emma, I know you're scared, but I need you to go somewhere public. Ideally somewhere where your parents wouldn't expect to find you, but the important thing is that there are people around you. Do you know where the nearest public place is?"

"I… I think I'm quite near the hospital," said Emma. "I ran and I ran."

"That's good," said Cal. "Go to the hospital and go to reception and tell them you're waiting for me. I'll phone them in a minute and let them know you're coming and that they need to take you somewhere out of public view. Then I'll come and pick you up. Okay?"

"Okay," said Emma, sounding slightly calmer now. "I'll go there now. Thank you, Cal."

"It's the least I can do," Cal said remorsefully. "Emma, I have to phone the hospital now, but then I'll phone you back to make sure you're okay."

He felt Ethan's hand on his arm. "I'll phone them, Cal. You keep talking to Emma. Then I'll drive you to the hospital."

"You don't have to," said Cal.

"You shouldn't be driving with your ankle and you'll be more support to Emma if you're not concentrating on driving," said Ethan. "I'm taking you."

Cal almost wanted to hug him. Even 'almost' wasn't something he usually admitted to, even to himself. "She'll have to come back here."

Ethan nodded. "Of course. It's a short-term solution, but… you keep talking to Emma. I'll phone Noel and explain."

* * *

Cal carried on speaking to Emma as he and Ethan got ready. He lived with her every moment of fear. Every passing car held terror for Emma; every voice or footstep had her scuttling for cover as Cal listened to her anxious breathing and tried to calm her. He didn't know exactly what had happened, but he knew he'd made a grave mistake and he was just so lucky Emma still trusted him enough to call him rather than trying to escape on her own.

It seemed like forever before Ethan had made the phone call and got ready, but at last they were on their way to the hospital. Cal talked to Emma the whole time. It seemed as though hours passed since Emma had phoned him, but at last Cal entered the staff room and found Emma waiting for him. "Emma, it's okay. I'm here now."

He put his arms around her and Emma cried for a while. Cal could feel her shaking. Ethan was waiting in the car and Cal knew he might be getting impatient, but that couldn't be helped. Emma couldn't very well leave the hospital until she'd calmed down.

After a while, he realised her sobs weren't so much sobs as gasps for breath. "Emma, are you okay?" He held her away from him so she could get more air and she pressed her hand to her chest. "Does it hurt, Emma?" He gently took her hand in his. "I'm just going to take your pulse, Emma, okay?" He pressed two fingers against her wrist.

"Hurts," said Emma.

"Your chest?"

"Yes."

Cal finished taking her pulse. "You're tachycardic – that means your heart is beating too quickly. That's almost certainly what's causing the pain. It's not really surprising after all the stress and running, but I'd like to make sure that's all it is."


	16. Chapter 16

**ETWentHome**, thank you so much for your review. Here is the next chapter - I hope it was worth the wait!

**Tanith Panic**, thank you, it's so kind of you to say that. I was worried it was getting boring.

* * *

"I was so scared, Cal," sobbed Emma. "I thought they were going to hurt me."

Cal held her close to him. He didn't need to ask who she meant. "I'm so sorry. I never should have phoned them. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I promise I won't do it again. I'll keep you safe now. And the first thing I need to do is run a few tests." He stopped as a thought occurred to him. "Actually, I probably shouldn't…" He got out his phone and dialled Ethan.

"Where are you?" Ethan sounded annoyed.

"In the staff room. Emma's tachycardic and dyspneic. I want to give her an ECG, but I don't think I can treat her myself."

"It's okay," said Ethan. "You're not working tonight so there's no reason why you should have to treat her. But if you do, I'm sure you'll be fine. You treated me, didn't you? And I'm still here."

"That was because no-one else could do it," said Cal. "But it wasn't really allowed. And I don't think I should be allowed to treat Emma because I'm probably her next of kin now."

There was a short silence. "Caleb, has Emma asked you to be her next of kin?"

"Emma's got other things on her mind," said Cal. "It's okay, Emma. Just breathe. I'm right here. Ethan, will you come and help me or not?"

There was a sound that might have been a sigh. Then: "I'm coming," said Ethan. Cal heard the car door slam with a bit more force than necessary. "I don't see why you'd need me, Caleb, and I shouldn't be treating her either as I'm off-duty, but I'm coming. Try not to panic. Just think of Emma as another patient."

"But she's not just another patient." Cal held tightly to Emma's hand. "It's okay, Emma. I know it feels bad, but it will pass."

"I know, but if you try to think of her like that, it might help keep you focused," said Ethan. "What exactly is it you want me to do?"

"Just examine Emma and sort out an ECG," said Cal. "Try to relax, Emma, and it might pass quicker. It's going to be okay. I'm here." He spoke to Ethan again. "I don't think they'd let me have one, but everyone loves you."

Ethan laughed. "I don't think so. You're the one with all the charm."

"I'm glad you recognise my charm," said Cal with a grin, but he quickly became serious again. "But I don't really mean that. I just mean that everyone respects you and they won't think you're up to something. It's okay, Emma. I know it's not very pleasant, but it will pass."

* * *

A couple of minutes later, Ethan entered the staff room. "Hi Emma. You remember me, don't you? I'm Ethan. I'd just like to verify what Cal's told me. Yes, the pulse is a little bit fast. Do you have a pain in your chest at all? Can you show me where? Okay, I'm going to speak to some of our colleagues and see if we can get you into cubicles-"

Cal cut him off. "No, you can't tell anyone she's here, Ethan. We can't have any record that she's here."

Ethan looked as though he was about to object, but then he gave a reluctant nod. "Okay. I'll see what I can do. I'll be back in a minute." He turned to his brother and his eyes widened slightly. "Cal, don't look so terrified. I'm sure it's nothing serious, but if it is, she's in exactly the right place." He patted Cal on the back and left.

"You see: it's going to be okay," said Cal. "And Ethan's not that scary, is he?"

"He seems lovely," admitted Emma. "You are lucky to have him, Cal."

Cal smiled slightly. "Don't ever tell him I said this, but I think you're right. So you're okay to come and stay with us?"

"Of course," said Emma. "Thank you, Cal. I don't know what I'd do without you. And I'm happy to sleep on the sofa if you haven't got a spare bed."

"No, don't worry: we've got a bed for you," said Cal. "You're sleeping in my room and I'll sleep with Ethan. It's all arranged."

Emma looked relieved. "I hope Ethan doesn't mind too much. I'm sure he'd rather have you all to himself."

Cal just stared at her. "I'm really not sure that's the case."

"You and Ethan should just carry on as you usually do," continued Emma. "I don't mind if you want to cuddle and stuff."

"Cuddle?" Cal managed to say. "Emma, you don't think-"

"It doesn't make me uncomfortable or anything," said Emma, getting slightly breathless again, "I think you're really sweet together. Ethan's so protective of you. I noticed it the first time I saw you together. The curtain was slightly open so I saw you were holding onto his arm. Then you came in and he stayed outside, looking at you. He looked so concerned. Then when you were worried about me just now, the first thing you wanted to do was to talk to Ethan and it seemed like he really calmed you down."

Cal held up his hand. "Emma, please slow down and breathe and listen to me."

Emma's eyes grew dreamy. "And then when he gave you that little cuddle just now. That was adorable."

Cal looked at her in confusion and some concern. "He didn't cuddle me, Emma."

"But he patted you on the back," said Emma. "I don't know why I was scared of Ethan. He's so kind. If you ever got married, do you think you'd change your name to his? Or would he change his to yours? Or would that be too confusing?"

"Emma, listen, I'm afraid you've got things a bit-"

He stopped as Ethan re-entered. "I've got the ECG machine. Don't worry: I didn't say who it was for." He wheeled it into the staff room and winked at Cal. "Perhaps I do have some charm after all."

Cal cast a slightly worried glance at Emma, knowing the wink wouldn't help correct her misapprehension, but it wasn't the time to correct it. He knew it would be less embarrassing for Emma if Ethan never found out.

"I'm sorry, Emma, this is a bit unorthodox," said Ethan. "I quite understand if you'd prefer not to be alone with two male doctors. I can try to find a female nurse if that would make you feel better."

Emma gave a shaky laugh. "I really don't think I've got anything to fear from you and Cal."

Ethan looked relieved. "Okay, Emma, you really need to be lying down for this, so we'll move you over to the sofa. I'm sure you're fine and I'm actually more worried about Cal than you at the moment – oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that how it sounded."

"It's okay," said Emma. "I know about your relationship with Cal."

"It's very much a love-hate relationship," said Ethan, "currently with the emphasis on the hate as this was supposed to be my night off, but that's not your fault."

Cal started to remind Ethan he was on call, but Emma interrupted. "How could _anyone_ hate Cal?"

"You haven't tripped over his dirty boxers five days in a row," said Ethan. "It does take its toll. But we're fine, Emma. We love each other really."

"First I've heard of it," Cal said in a slightly strangled voice.

"And it might be the last you hear of it too," said Ethan. He put his hand on Cal's arm in a completely innocent way that probably looked anything but. "You'd better stand by the door and make sure no-one comes in. I won't ask you to undress completely, Emma, but I'll need to put these stickers on… um…" Ethan blushed. "Maybe I should go and find a nurse."

"No, it's fine," said Emma. "I really don't mind at all."

Cal was in agony. He didn't want to embarrass Emma in front of Ethan and he knew Ethan would be completely professional, but he couldn't let Emma remain under the misapprehension that she was being treated by a gay man. "Ethan, can I have a quick word with Emma?"

Ethan looked exasperated. "You're the one who told me to hurry."

"Please?" said Cal. "I think maybe I've forgotten to give Emma all the facts and I can't let you treat her till she does."

"Okay," said Ethan with a sigh. "But make it quick. Somebody else might want the machine."

He went outside and shut the door. Cal turned quickly to Emma. "Emma, I'll make this quick because I really am worried about you. But Ethan isn't gay."

"You mean he's bi?" said Emma. She shrugged. "That's fine. Ethan's a doctor so he'll be professional and he obviously loves you."

"No, he's… he's straight," said Cal. "We both are. We're not a couple; we're brothers. I'm sorry. I thought you knew."

Emma looked at him uncomprehendingly. "But you've got different surnames."

"Long story."

"Oh, are you half-brothers?" said Emma. Before Cal could deny this, she burst out with: "Oh Cal, why didn't you tell me before? I'm so embarrassed. Does Ethan know?"

"My little brother is seriously naïve. You've got no need to worry." Cal held her close to him for a moment but let her go as he realised how tempted he was to prove that he wasn't gay. He went to open the door. "Ethan? We're ready for you now."

Ethan came back and smiled at Emma. "Right. You need to lie down, so Cal, if you can help Emma over to the sofa…"

When Emma was lying down, Ethan wheeled over the ECG machine while Cal found a couple of cushions for Emma's head. Then he went over to the door to listen out for his colleagues.

"I'll need to attach these stickers to you," said Ethan. "There are quite a lot of them and it will feel quite odd, but it won't hurt at all. I'll let you keep your clothes on, but if you're wearing, um, underwiring on… on any of your clothes, you will need to remove it."

Emma shook her head. "No. No underwiring."

Cal hated himself for feeling disappointed.

"Okay, first I'll need to get your sling off," said Ethan. He untied it, folded it carefully and hung it over the back of the sofa. "The first two leads go on your ankles. If you could pull your trousers up a little bit for me? Thank you. Now I'll need to put six on your chest. You're sure you're okay with that?"

"I can do it if you're worried," said Cal.

"It's okay, Ethan." Emma's voice was small and tired. "You're a doctor. Just do what you have to do."

Ethan seemed to take an inordinately long time about it, but of course, he took an inordinately long time over everything.

"There," Ethan said with audible relief. "That's excellent. Now I'll need to put a couple of stickers on your wrists – or rather one of your wrists. We'll put the other one higher up, above the plaster cast. It's customary to put it on the wrist, but you can put it anywhere on the arm."

"How about you put the neutral lead on Emma's bad arm?" said Cal. "Would that work?"

"I'm not sure, but there's no need," said Ethan. He selected another sticker. "I'll put this on your upper right arm, Emma, so if you could pull your sleeve up for me? Then we can connect the leads to the stickers and we can start the ECG." There was a short silence. "Emma?"

"Is there any point if it's neutral?" Emma's voice sounded odd.

Cal took a step closer to them.

"We can't perform an ECG without a complete circuit and we won't have one unless all ten leads are connected," said Ethan. "But the neutral one will go on your right ankle."

"Don't worry. It won't hurt," said Cal. His voice was relaxed, but his eyes were fixed on Emma's face. A knot of worry formed in his stomach as he realised Emma still hadn't done as Ethan had asked.

He looked at Emma. Slowly, she worked the sleeve of her top over the plaster cast. "Is that high enough?"

"Just… just a little bit higher." Ethan's voice had changed now.

The relaxed friendliness he usually showed to nervous patients was gone.

"Emma," said Ethan. "You're bleeding."


	17. Chapter 17

**ETWentHome**, sorry about the cliffhanger, but I'm not going to make you wait any longer.! I'm so happy you found Emma's assumptions about Cal and Ethan amusing. That was originally going to happen much earlier in the story, but I decided to save it for later. Thank you for your review.

**Gillian Kearney Fan**, I'm sorry, I obviously didn't make it clear. Emma is bleeding from her arm. I do like your miscarriage idea though. I don't think it would work in this story as there's too much going on, but I'd be interested in writing a miscarriage story in the future. Thank you for the idea!

**Tanith Panic**, there's so much to love in your comments too! Thank you so much. I think Cal and Ethan both have charm in very difficult ways. Ethan's very charming when he comforts his patients, but Cal's charm is more flirtatious. Ethan definitely has a big heart! You only really notice Cal's heart when he gives it away!

**20BlueRoses**, thank you, that's really kind of you! There will be a bit more about Emma's parents in later chapters. I'm glad you liked Emma's confusion and that it wasn't too unrealistic. Thank you so much for reading another of my stories and reviewing it.

* * *

Cal rushed over and knelt beside her. "Emma, did you…"

"I fell over," said Emma.

"When did you fall over?" Ethan sounded confused.

"On the way to the hospital," said Emma.

Cal held tightly to her arm and hoped it was true.

"But you were on the phone to Cal the whole time," said Ethan.

"No, it was just before I phoned Cal," said Emma, too quickly.

Ethan's eyes met Cal's, concerned but questioning. Cal was surprised. Ethan didn't usually ask him what to do. It was far more often the other way around.

"You don't have to lie to us." Tears pricked Cal's eyes. He blinked them firmly away and took Emma's hand. "You've been through so much in the last few days, Emma. You can tell us the truth. If you did this, we can understand why."

Ethan nodded. "Of course we understand."

Emma started to cry. "I just felt so bad. I haven't done it for so long. Not since I left home. But tonight…"

Cal couldn't speak.

"Tonight was bad," agreed Ethan. "I won't lie to you, Emma. I am concerned. But we don't have to talk much about it if you don't want to. But I do need to ask you: what did you use to hurt yourself? Was it clean?"

"A razor," said Emma. "It was my razor. It was clean."

"Can I have it?" said Cal, his voice shaking.

Emma shook her head. "I dropped it."

Cal's eyes filled. He wanted to believe her. "Did you, Emma?"

"Search me if you don't believe me!" cried Emma.

Ethan patted her arm. "I don't think there's any need to do that, but we do need to clean and dress your injury, Emma. Are you happy for me to do that?"

"I'll do it," Cal managed to say.

Ethan took one look at him and shook his head. "No. I'll do it. I'll go and get what we need. You stay with Emma. If anyone comes in, tell them..." Ethan gave a helpless shrug. "well, I don't know what you can tell them, but I'm sure you'll think of something."

Cal wasn't at all sure about that. He couldn't think of anything except that it was all his fault.

"Cal, are you okay?" Emma asked softly.

"Yes, of course," said Cal quickly. "I'm just worried about you. You'd better sit up. That'll be easiest." He helped her and sat beside her, his arms tightly around her. "I'm going to look after you, okay? I know I messed up before, but I'm going to get it right from now on."

Emma rested her head against his shoulder. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," said Cal. "I had no right to make that phone call. I had no right to take that number from your phone."

"You wanted to help me," said Emma. "Do you know how long it is since anyone wanted to do that?"

Cal held her more tightly for a moment. "I'll do a better job of helping you now."

"I know you will," said Emma.

"I'm sorry, Emma."

"Just say you won't leave me."

"Of course I won't leave you," said Cal.

* * *

When Ethan returned, his hands were empty.

"Didn't you get the stuff?" said Cal.

Ethan removed the stickers from Emma's ankles. "I don't think we should do this in the hospital. We can do it at home. We've got everything we need."

"We've got everything we need here as well," said Cal.

"Yes, but we're not really supposed to be using it and we don't want to get caught," said Ethan as he helped Emma on with her sling. A slight sharpness had crept into his tone. "We'd better go now if you're okay to walk to the car, Emma."

Cal glanced towards the ECG machine. "What about…"

"It was just a precaution," said Ethan. "He took hold of Emma's wrist and held it briefly. "Emma's heartbeat has gone down and her breathing's fine now."

"I've still got the stickers on my chest," said Emma.

"It doesn't matter. We'll take care of it when we get home," said Ethan shortly. "Why don't you go out the back way?"

"But the car's at the front!" said Cal.

"I'll drive around and pick you up,." Ethan handed Emma her coat. "I'm sorry to hurry you, Emma, but we're really not supposed to be here."

Emma looked confused and upset, but she didn't argue. Cal helped her on with her coat and put his arm around her. They went out the back way and waited.

"Did I do something wrong?" said Emma awkwardly.

Cal turned her to face him. "Of course you didn't. Ethan's just panicking about getting caught. He's probably just realised our clinical lead is working tonight. She's absolutely terrifying." He paused. "Please don't tell Ethan I said that."

Cal wouldn't have blamed her if she'd told Ethan in revenge, but he knew she wouldn't. "Of course I won't," she said.

"Don't worry," said Cal. "We'll look after you. I hope you don't mind me asking this, but are you having any psychological treatment?"

"No," said Emma. "Not now. It's not really a problem anymore. But that's how I always used to cope with my parents. So I just did the usual thing."

Cal knew better than simply to believe what she was saying, but he also knew it could be the truth. He would accept what she said but keep an eye on her.

For now, it was all he could do.

* * *

When they got home, Ethan asked Cal to stay with Emma while he got the first aid box. Cal agreed, but immediately told Emma he'd be back in a minute and followed Ethan to the bathroom. "Ethan, what's going on?" he whispered, shutting the door behind him.

"You really shouldn't leave Emma alone."

"Then you'd better tell me quickly!" said Cal.

For a moment, he thought Ethan would refuse, but then the younger man nodded. "Okay. I was just coming up to reception and there was a man and woman at the desk. Noel was telling them there was no Emma Silver at the hospital, but they were welcome to check the waiting room in case she hadn't booked herself in yet. Then they asked if Dr Knight was working tonight. Noel said he wasn't, but Robyn said she'd just seen Dr Knight's brother, if he would do. I thought the most sensible thing to do would be to leave before anyone came looking for me."

Cal was forced to admit Ethan was right. There would have been some very awkward questions if their presence was discovered. Not to mention the effect it would have on Emma. "Ethan?" he said, his voice wobbling. "You don't think Emma's parents abused her, do you?"

"I don't know," said Ethan. "But I don't think we should ask Emma any difficult questions tonight. We'll just look after her and make sure no-one knows she's here. And speaking of looking after her…"

Cal nodded and returned to Emma. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," said Emma.

Cal hugged her. "It's probably a bit difficult to know what you're feeling at the moment. But you're safe now. We'll make you something to eat if you're hungry and then you can go to bed."

He felt Emma tense slightly. "I don't want to throw you out of your bed."

Cal considered saying he was perfectly happy _not_ to be thrown out of bed, but he stopped himself. He knew that wouldn't help.

"I know I didn't mind before, but that was when I thought you and Ethan were… you know," said Emma. "I assumed you slept in his bed every night and just used your room to keep your stuff in. But If Ethan's your brother, you probably actually sleep in your own room, don't you?"

"He's got a double bed," said Cal. "There's room for me."

"I could sleep on the sofa."

"It really is fine for you to sleep in the bed." Cal put his hand on her arm. "Now there's no point in arguing. You're going to sleep in my bed and I'm going to sleep in Ethan's bed and that's all there is to it."

"And you're sure Ethan doesn't mind?"

"If I do something and Ethan minds, he doesn't usually keep quiet about it," said Cal. He smiled. "So don't worry. It's all arranged."

* * *

Emma didn't stay up for long. Cal and Ethan both encouraged her to get an early night and she didn't seem to have the strength to argue. Cal lent her a shirt to sleep in and Ethan washed her clothes so they'd be dry by tomorrow.

When Emma was ready for bed, Cal went in to say good night. She asked him to stay for a while so he climbed onto the bed beside her and held her hand. Emma rested her head on his shoulder and said nothing.

"We could go out shopping tomorrow if you wanted," said Cal. He was sure that if anything would cheer Emma up, it would be shopping for new clothes.

Emma failed to look cheered up. "I left my purse in the flat."

Cal felt a moment's panic, realising that she'd have to borrow any money she needed from Ethan. But he was sure Ethan would understand. Emma's priority had been safety, not money. "Don't worry. We'll sort something out."

Emma didn't reply. Cal stroked her hair. It felt gritty as though she hadn't washed it for a couple of days. He didn't care. It showed how much she'd loved her friends. He buried his face in it and felt his lips purse as though he was about to kiss it, but he stopped himself. Emma needed a friend. Nothing more.

The thought made him feel sad because she was the most loveable girl he'd met for a long time. He'd met a lot of beautiful girls, but there was so seldom anything beneath the surface – though perhaps girls like Emma didn't hang around bars waiting to be plied with drinks and taken home to bed (and even if they did, few people were at their most intelligent after a few drinks). Girls like Emma, who were as intelligent and talented as they were beautiful, surrounded themselves with friends and devoted their lives to making other people's days special.

He felt a slight hitch in Emma's breathing and quickly looked down into her face. There were tears in her eyes, though she was trying to blink them away. "What is it, baby?" said Cal, his own voice full of sadness as he used his thumb to wipe away one of her tears.

"I just realised something," said Emma.

Cal stroked her hair. "What's that?"

Emma gave a sob. "I just realised there's no-one in the world who loves me."

"That's not true." Cal held her more tightly. "There's me. I love you."

Emma gasped and looked up at him in wonder. "Really?"

"Of course!" said Cal. He didn't know why he hadn't realised it before. That would explain everything. He'd probably loved her right from the first day. That was why he'd cried in the hospital. That was why he felt like crying every time he thought about how much she was suffering. That was why he wanted so badly to help her; to do so much more than his job. He hadn't even thought about seeing other girls since he'd met Emma. He'd only thought about her.

That was because he loved her.

"I love you too," whispered Emma.

"Then everything's going to be all right," said Cal. "You've got me. I've got you. I'll look after you."


	18. Chapter 18

**ETWentHome**, thank you for your review! I'm really happy you think it's sweet. Ethan finds out in this very chapter - I hope you enjoy it.

**AVMabs**, I won't reply in detail as I've already sent a pm, but I really appreciate your support and it's always good to know that you like what I'm doing with the story. I hope I can continue to make it realistic.

**Tanith Panic**, aw thank you! I'm so happy I haven't disappointed you so far. I really hope I can keep that up!

**CBloom2**, I love Cal's caring side too and I love writing about it! Thank you for the review and I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

_Thank you to everyone who's still reading this story. It's been difficult to write, but your support and comments make it worth the effort. I'm writing Chapter 24 now and I'm very close to the end, though I've changed the ending three times already so even I can't be completely sure how it will all turn out! _

* * *

Cal was barely awake when Ethan tapped lightly on the door. Emma had been asleep for some time, her head pillowed on Cal's chest. He carefully manoeuvred himself out from under her.

The door opened a crack. "Caleb?" whispered Ethan.

Cal arranged the pillows to support Emma's head, kissed her temple, and quickly went to join his brother. "What do you want?" he whispered.

"Is she asleep?" Ethan asked softly.

"Yes, she is," said Cal.

Ethan gave him a worried look. "Then why are you still here?"

Cal decided he might as well tell him now. He would notice sooner or later and if he was going to make a fuss, which Cal knew he would, it was better for him to do it while Emma was asleep.

He shut the door carefully behind him and tried to convince himself that the possibility of Ethan's anger didn't faze him. But it did. He knew Ethan could demand that Emma left the following morning. As it was Ethan's flat, he would be well within his rights.

"I didn't want to leave her," said Cal.

Ethan looked even more worried. "Because you're worried she might hurt herself?"

"Yes, partly," said Cal. "But it's more than that, Ethan. I love her. More than I've ever loved any girl. And she loves me."

Ethan turned away and put his hands over his face. "I knew it," he said as though to himself. "Why do you always do this, Caleb? Why?"

"Do what?" said Cal, confused. "I don't always fall in love. Quite the opposite."

"No, I don't mean that," said Ethan as he lowered his hands. "But it's all or nothing with you, Cal. Either you don't care at all or you're head over heels in love."

"It's better to be sure about my feelings, isn't it?" said Cal.

"Yes, of course it is, but…" Ethan stopped. "No. I'm sorry. This is ridiculous."

"So stop being ridiculous!" said Cal.

Ethan glanced towards Emma's door. "Let's go to my room. We don't want to risk waking Emma up."

"Or maybe we should just stop having this conversation," said Cal in a slightly quieter voice.

Ethan's voice was soft but inexorable. "Oh no, Caleb. You're not getting out of it that easily. We are going to have this conversation and we're going to have it now. The only thing you get to choose is the venue."

"_The venue_…" Cal couldn't help but sneer at his choice of words, but he knew Ethan meant what he said. He led the way to Ethan's bedroom. "Make it quick. I want to get back to my girlfriend."

"Caleb, she's not your girlfriend!" burst out Ethan.

Cal stared at him. "What are you talking about? Of course she's my girlfriend."

"But you hardly know her and you've said it yourself: she's in no condition to get involved in a relationship."

"Not a casual relationship, no," said Cal. "But this is serious. We love each other. I feel so different when I'm with Emma. I feel important. Like I matter."

Ethan looked unimpressed. "I wouldn't have said there was any great change there."

"Ethan, why do you always do this?" asked Cal, his voice strained. "Why can't you just let me be happy? Why do I have to be miserable and alone just because you are?"

"This is nothing to do with me!" cried Ethan.

"Exactly! It's _nothing_ to do with you. So stop interfering!" Cal opened the door and started to storm out, but Ethan caught his arm.

"I didn't mean it like that, Cal. What I mean is… I do want you to be happy. I'm just… I'm concerned. About Emma's mental state."

"So am I," said Cal. "It nearly tore me apart when we found out she'd been hurting herself. But it's going to be better now. I'm going to look after her."

Ethan closed his eyes for a moment, then went to sit on the bed. "Cal, you really do like her a lot, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Ethan, are you all right?" Cal sat beside him.

"Yes, I'm fine," said Ethan. "I'm just… I know this isn't a good time to say this. I know you're upset and I understand why. But I'm worried about Emma and if I'm right, you need to know about this before you and Emma get too serious."

Cal looked at Ethan warily. "Well… if you want to talk to someone about Emma, then I am the best person. No-one knows her better than me and you can't say I haven't got her best interests at heart… but I'm warning you, Ethan. If you just want to insult her and tell me she doesn't really love me…"

"Of course I don't want to insult her," Ethan said quickly. "I think she's… lovely and in any other circumstances, I really would be happy for you. I'm just a little bit concerned."

"So am I," said Cal, still slightly wary. "She's been abused by her parents and she's grieving for her friends. She self-harmed today. Anyone would be concerned."

"We don't know for sure that she was abused," said Ethan. "But that's not the only reason why I'm concerned."

Cal saw the serious look on his face. A part of him wanted to accuse Ethan of jealousy; of not wanting him to be happy, but he had to admit Ethan didn't look anything other than worried. And if a doctor was concerned there was something wrong with Emma, Cal needed to listen, didn't he?

"There are just a few things that don't make sense." Ethan's voice was almost apologetic. "Relating to Emma's injuries."

Cal relaxed slightly. Emma's injuries he was happy to discuss, and it was good to see Ethan asking _him_ for help for a change. "What about them?"

"Emma had probably been bleeding for getting on for forty-five minutes when I treated her injury," said Ethan. "That's assuming she cut herself just before she phoned. Of course, everyone is different, but she was bleeding quite heavily. It was a small cut so I wouldn't have expected that."

"You said it yourself, Ethan," said Cal impatiently. "Everyone's different and Emma probably didn't put any pressure on the wound or make any attempt to stop the bleeding."

"That's true," said Ethan. "But it also seems odd that she'd throw the razor away."

"Because she didn't want us to find it," said Cal.

"She went to the trouble of bringing it with her," said Ethan. "So she obviously intended to use it and once isn't usually enough for a self-harmer. But she was quite a distance away from her house and it doesn't sound like she took a very direct route. So she ran quite a distance, cut herself, and then phoned you."

Cal sighed. "It's all perfectly simple. Emma took it with her because she thought she'd need it, but she didn't want to get back into negative coping behaviours so she resisted for as long as she could. Eventually, it got too much for her and she cut herself. After that, she realised she needed help so she phoned me, but she didn't want us to know she'd hurt herself. So she covered herself up again and got rid of the razor so we couldn't find it and ask questions."

"That is plausible," admitted Ethan. "But there was something else too. I didn't say anything in front of Emma because I was concerned about her emotional stability, but there was cotton wool in the blood."

Cal pretended to be shocked. "Cotton wool! That just proves there's something terrible going on! Ethan, you should have been a detective."

"Caleb, this is serious," said Ethan.

"No. You're taking it _too_ seriously," said Cal. "Obviously, she tried to soak up the blood with cotton wool."

"But why would she have cotton wool with her?" said Ethan.

"Because she knew she was going to cut herself?"

Ethan spoke forcefully. "I know I could be wrong. But when Emma phoned us, did she seem depressed? Or terrified?"

"Terrified," said Cal. "But obviously, she was depressed as well."

"She was terrified and she'd been running," said Ethan. "If you're scared someone's going to catch you, you don't stop to cut yourself and then drop your razor which might prove you'd gone that way."

Cal made an impatient noise. "You've been reading too many detective stories. Even if Emma's parents were chasing after her and found the razor, they wouldn't know it was Emma's. Considering they didn't know her address, I doubt they know what kind of razor she uses."

"But I don't think Emma would take the risk of dropping it or of stopping to use it," said Ethan. "So I think she must have cut herself in the flat, given it a quick dab with cotton wool, but then stopped treating it because her priority was getting out of there."

Cal felt his anxiety began to mount, but then he spotted the fatal flaw. "But you said it yourself. Even if Emma had cut herself just before she phoned, she would have been bleeding for a very long time. If she'd cut herself at home, she'd have been bleeding for well over an hour."

"Emma might have a condition that affects her platelet count," said Ethan. "And if she does, that throws up even more questions."

Cal was confused. "How come? Why is that such a problem? Lots of people have a low platelet count."

"She didn't mention it," said Ethan significantly.

"She probably didn't know about it," said Cal. "I'm sure a lot of people don't know what platelets are."

Ethan spoke almost apologetically. "But Emma knows. Her friend Georgia had thrombocytopenia and Emma knew about it. So it's odd that Emma didn't recognise the condition in herself. Of course, in Emma's case, it might not be thrombocytopenia, and prolonged bleeding doesn't always indicate a low platelet count anyway, but you'd expect her to recognise the signs and look into it and receive some sort of diagnosis."

"Yes, exactly!" said Cal. "And she doesn't have a diagnosis, so you can only assume the signs weren't there. You've got it completely wrong as usual. Emma cut herself just before she phoned; she dabbed it with cotton wool and then she got rid of the cotton wool and the razor. Can I go back to my girlfriend now or have you got some more deductions to share with me?"

Ethan winced slightly at the word 'girlfriend', but he remained calm. "Actually, there is one more thing. It relates to the car accident. Don't you think it's odd that-"

"You know what, Ethan? I don't want to hear it," said Cal. "I'm going back to my girlfriend. Why don't you go to bed, get a good night's sleep, and if your crazy theories still make sense tomorrow, you can go and tell them to Zoe. I'm sure she'd be very interested to know one of her registrars has completely lost it."

"I think one of her registrars definitely has," said Ethan with feeling.

"Yes. And it's you, Nibbles." Cal put his face close to Ethan's. "You've always been like that. Always jumping to conclusions. Always getting over-enthusiastic about some clever theory of yours and forgetting to check the facts. Talk to Zoe about it if you must, but if I ever have even the slightest suspicion that you've told _anyone_ where Emma is…"

Ethan got the message.


	19. Chapter 19

**CBloom2**, if Cal did listen to his brother, it would probably be a first! But they do say there's a first time for everything. Thank you for your review! I'm really happy you're enjoying the story.

**Tanith Panic**, thank you so much! I hope I never disappoint you, but it's hard to avoid friction where Cal and Ethan are concerned. I do tell them to play nicely, but I'm only the writer so they don't listen to me!

**Tato Potato**, your wish is my command! Thank you so much for your review. I really am happy you're enjoying the story and I hope you like the new chapter.

* * *

The following day, Cal and Ethan avoided one another. Cal wasn't due at the hospital until the afternoon so he stayed in bed until Ethan had left. He let Emma sleep in for a few more hours and then made her breakfast in bed, which they shared. They cuddled and kissed and talked about love and Cal made many more promises that everything would be okay soon, but they didn't sleep together. The more time they spent together, the more Cal wanted it, but he was determined to wait till Emma was ready.

It wasn't going to be easy, but he found he rather liked the idea of suffering for Emma's sake. It was heroic, which he always tried to be, and virtuous, which was a bit of a new thing for him, but a completely natural quality to adopt now he'd met Emma.

The morning was lovely, but then it was afternoon and time for Cal to go to the hospital. He didn't want to leave Emma, but he knew he didn't have a choice. Ethan would be home before he was, but that would still mean Emma was alone for several hours and he couldn't help worrying that Ethan might try and get his own version of 'the truth' out of Emma when he got home.

As soon as Cal got to the hospital, he found out where Ethan was and barged into the cubicle. "Dr Hardy, I'd like a word, please," he said in his politest and most reasonable voice.

"I'm afraid I'm treating a patient, as you see, Dr Knight," said Ethan, also very politely. "But if you give me five minutes…"

"Now," said Cal.

Ethan turned back to the patient. "I'm so sorry. Will you excuse me for a moment?" He joined Cal out in the corridor. "What is it?"

"All that rubbish you were spouting about Emma last night," said Cal. "You don't still think it might be true, do you?"

Ethan didn't look at him. "I… I don't know."

"You do realise it could be very damaging to mention it to Emma, don't you?" said Cal, his voice quiet but forceful.

"Don't worry," said Ethan. "I'm not going to say anything to Emma. Whether my suspicions are correct or not, it would hardly help. Can I go back to my patient now?"

"In a minute," said Cal. He thought he might be overdoing it with the aggression, but he didn't want Ethan to guess how much his heart was hammering with fear of what might happen if Ethan didn't keep his silly ideas to himself. "If Emma's parents come back here, you won't tell them anything, will you?"

"Of course not," said Ethan coldly. "It would be against patient confidentiality."

He didn't mention that Cal had been the one to contact Emma's parents in the first place, but Cal couldn't help but feel an implied reproof. He said nothing because he knew the reproof was deserved. He didn't think he'd ever stop reproaching himself, even if the incident had hastened his and Emma's declarations of love.

"Good," said Cal, and smiled. "You may now return to your patient, Dr Hardy."

"Thank you, Dr Knight," Ethan said with barely concealed anger, and did as he was told.

* * *

Cal walked slowly towards reception, feeling in his pocket for his phone. He glanced around, wondering if he could afford to take another quick break to phone Emma, but he'd taken at least five and been caught by far too many people. All that was needed was for them to compare notes on Cal's movements and he'd be in trouble.

There seemed to be a few people talking at once, but Cal picked out Lily's voice straight away. Cal couldn't but sympathise with the patient she was speaking to. It seemed they had committed the cardinal sin of requesting the attentions of a particular doctor and Lily wasn't impressed.

"No. For the last time, I will not be fetching Dr Knight," said Lily.

Cal smiled: it sounded like another young lady had taken a fancy to him. He was flattered, but he hoped Lily would deal with it. Caleb Knight was a one-woman man now.

Lily's voice rose. "I don't care if he is your boyfriend. If this is true, that is a good reason for him not to treat you. Either you allow me to treat you now or you can go home. You can't be seriously unwell if you're prepared to-"

Lily stopped short as Cal burst onto the scene.

"Emma, are you okay?" he asked as his eyes travelled anxiously over her face. Other than the tears in her eyes (which caused an answering sting in Cal's own), she looked fine, and although the shortness of her breath worried him, he knew that could be related to the fact she was nearly crying. Cal glanced at Lily. "I'll take Emma to cubicles. She's not too good with people she doesn't know."

"If she is your girlfriend, you should not be treating her," said Lily.

Cal deftly removed Emma's file from Lily's hand and put his arm firmly around Emma. "Come on, Emma. This way. Don't pay any attention to Lily. She's a good doctor, but she's still quite inexperienced."

As they walked to the cubicle, he felt Emma's shoulders rising and falling with every breath. "I had to come. I was scared."

"It's okay," said Cal soothingly. "I'm here now." He helped her to sit on the bed and held her hand. "What's wrong, baby? Is it your chest again?" He wished they'd been able to do the ECG last night, but one thing he couldn't blame Ethan for was ensuring that Emma escaped from the hospital without seeing her parents.

"I… I just… felt weird," said Emma. "I had trouble breathing. My heart was really fast. Like last night."

She was shaking. Cal sat beside her and hugged her. "It's probably just an anxiety attack, but you did the right thing coming to me." She hadn't and he knew a lot of doctors would consider her a time-waster, but Cal knew Emma really needed him. "Are you okay with having bloods taken?" Emma nodded. "Okay, we'll take some bloods and give you an ECG. I shouldn't really do it myself because of our relationship, but I'll find a nurse." He quickly ran his mind over the nurses who were working today. He wouldn't ask Rita: she was far too astute and would realise he and Emma were a bit more than doctor and patient. Robyn wasn't a good idea either. She might also pick up on Cal's feelings for Emma and it wouldn't take her long to ensure the whole hospital knew about it. Lofty seemed like the best bet, though Cal was a bit worried he might mess up in some way.

Emma was gazing at him pleadingly. "Can't you do it, Cal? No-one knows we're in a relationship."

Cal shook his head. He knew it was just a couple of routine tests and he didn't expect to find anything wrong, but he knew there would be questions if someone checked the records and saw that Emma had been treated by her next of kin. "I'm sorry. I could only treat you if there really was no other option."

"There _is_ no other option," said Emma tremulously. "I don't want anyone else treating me." She paused. "Unless it's Ethan."

Cal seized on this with relief. "Okay, I'll go and find Ethan. He should be just about finishing now, but he's probably still around."

* * *

Cal was worried it might take him ages to find Ethan, but as he stepped out into the corridor, he saw his brother coming towards him. "Ethan, I've got Emma in cubicles. She needs an ECG and some bloods taken, but she wants you to do it."

"Cal." Ethan's face was deathly serious. He glanced around the corridor and then spoke, his voice low. "The police are here. They want to see you."

"Me?" said Cal, casting his mind back to something he might have done, but he couldn't think of anything recent. "What about?"

"I don't know, but I would guess Emma," said Ethan.

Cal felt a moment's panic, but then sanity returned. "Why would the police want to talk to me about Emma?"

"Well, if her parents have reported her missing and told them she has a friend called Dr Caleb Knight, it seems more than likely they'd want to talk to you," said Ethan.

Cal put his hands to his head and tried not to panic. "What am I going to say, Ethan? I can't tell them where she is."

"Just tell them she's safe," said Ethan. "Oh, and don't say anything about Emma's parents abusing her. You haven't got any evidence for that and it could cause all sorts of problems."

Cal looked at him sharply. "I hope you haven't said anything to them about your suspicions about Emma."

"Of course not," said Ethan. "I haven't even seen them and I don't have any evidence either. Now go and speak to them – they're in Zoe's office - and I'll find a nurse do the ECG and the bloods."

"No, you can't," said Cal. "I did suggest it, but she wants one of us to do it. And I've already put myself down as her next of kin."

"Yes, I know," said Ethan. His voice sounded odd, but Cal decided that was probably due to the awkwardness of the situation.

"I'd better go and speak to the police," said Cal. He looked seriously at Ethan. "You'll look after Emma for me, won't you? Please."

* * *

Cal was nervous, but he knew how not to let it show. He was grateful Connie wasn't there and Zoe was temporarily in charge. Connie would probably have to hear about it, of course, but Cal hoped it would all be cleared up by then.

There were two police officers in Zoe's office: a man and a woman. Cal shook hands with them both and smiled charmingly. "I'm Dr Knight. I understand you wanted to speak to me."

"Yes, Dr Knight." It was the policeman who spoke. "It's about a young lady who is believed to be a friend of yours. A Miss Emma Silver."

"Yes, Emma is my friend," said Cal. "She's also a former patient and I'm afraid I'm bound by confidentiality, but I'm happy to help you all I can. Emma's not in any trouble, I hope?" He asked the question with just a touch of amusement to show that the idea of Emma being in trouble was ludicrous.

"No, not as far as we know," said the policeman. "But she has been reported missing. Her parents visited her yesterday evening, but Emma left the house while they were in her bedroom and hasn't made contact with them since."

"But she's hardly been missing any time at all," said Cal. "Emma is an adult. She's entitled to leave her own home if she wants to. I admit it's unusual to leave the house when she has visitors, but perhaps the visitors were unwelcome."

The policeman gave a wry smile. "Yes, we have reason to believe that is the case, and usually, you'd be quite right. She's an adult and she's only been missing for about sixteen hours. However, Emma has a history of mental health problems, not to mention she recently suffered a bereavement, so naturally we're concerned."

Cal nodded as though he found this entirely reasonable – which he would have done in any other circumstances. "Yes, of course. I see that things are a little different in this case. But the fact that she does seem to have left her home so suddenly following the arrival of her parents does seem to suggest she doesn't want them to know where she is. So if I do have information about her present location, I'm sure you can understand my reluctance to share it."

The policeman gave him a sharp glance. "Dr Knight, are you saying you do know where she is?"


	20. Chapter 20

**ETWentHome**, thank you for your review. I think Cal has to tell them something, but exactly how much... well, you'll have to read on and see!

**Tanith Panic**, I'm so happy you thought it was a good read - thank you so much.

* * *

"I…" Cal stopped as he realised he'd already given himself away. "Yes. I do know."

The policeman nodded. "Dr Knight, as Emma is both your friend and a former patient, your concerns are understandable. Let me see if I can put your mind at rest. Emma's parents want to know their daughter is safe and I'd like to be able to tell them that, but if Emma doesn't want them to know where she is, we will of course respect her wishes."

"Okay. Emma is safe," said Cal. "She is completely safe and she doesn't want any contact with her parents."

"Thank you, Dr Knight, but I'm afraid that's not enough," said the policeman. "We need to speak to Emma ourselves. I'm not doubting what you say. There's no problem there. But we need to satisfy her parents that we've done our job and made sure she really is safe and to do that, we really need to speak to her. I'm sorry, Dr Knight, but there it is."

Cal reluctantly admitted he could see their point. "Okay. I'll try to set up a meeting with you and Emma, but I can't just take you to see her. She'd be terrified and she'd feel like I betrayed her. I'm not trying to make difficulties, but like you said, Emma's mental state is a cause for concern. I don't want to give her any shocks like arriving on her doorstep with a couple of police officers."

"No, of course not," said the policeman. "But I'd like to get this done quickly. Today."

Cal realised the police were concerned he might coach Emma in what to say – or at least that they didn't want that to be a possible interpretation of the facts.

"But perhaps you could phone her," said the policeman. "Let her know we're here and what we want and that she has nothing to fear."

Cal's insides were churning. He didn't know what to do. He could phone Emma, of course, but he'd somehow need to convey to her that she needed to go home as quickly as possible without raising the suspicions of anyone in the room. Even if Emma understood his hints, she would have to convince Ethan to drive her home (there wasn't time to wait for a taxi) and that wouldn't be easy. Ethan had gone along with the subterfuge so far, but he might take a very different view now the police were involved.

Then the policewoman spoke again. "Dr Knight, are you sure there isn't anything you haven't told us? We do appreciate that you're concerned about Emma and you want to protect her, but this is a police investigation and we do need to speak to her."

Cal saw the seriousness on her face and he knew she was right. And then he suddenly realised there was a way out of this – a way that wouldn't necessarily involve telling the police Emma's new address. "You're right. I'm sorry," he said as charmingly as he could. "I was hiding something from you. I was concerned about Emma and I knew she wouldn't want me to tell you this, but you are the police and I don't really have a choice. Emma is actually in cubicles as we speak. I can't tell you any details because of confidentiality, but she's having some tests done." He decided to add the last part in case there were any awkward questions about self-harm.

"Thank you, Dr Knight," said the policeman. "I'm glad you felt able to tell us that and I do understand your reticence considering she's currently under hospital care."

"I'm glad you understand," admitted Cal. "I probably should have told you sooner, but I suppose I panicked a bit. I'll phone her now and let her know you're here, then I'll take you to her cubicle."

* * *

Emma sat very still, her gaze on the floor. Cal shut the door and sat beside her, putting his arm around her. "It's okay, Emma. I'm sure they won't need to speak to you again. You did really well. I'm proud of you and it's going to be okay."

"Do you think they really won't tell my parents?" said Emma.

"Of course they won't," said Cal. "They're not allowed."

"And if my parents come back here asking about me, you'll really phone the police?"

Cal nodded. "Probably not me personally, but if they do come back and they won't leave when they're asked to, it will be considered harassment and the police will be contacted, yes."

Emma cuddled closer to him, burying her face in his shoulder. "It was awful, Cal! I was so scared."

Cal held her tightly. "I know. I'm sorry, baby. I really am. I didn't want to give you a big shock like that. You've had too many shocks already."

"It's not your fault," said Emma. "You can't really say no to the police."

"You shouldn't have to deal with them again," said Cal. He kissed her hair. "Now, we'd better go back to your cubicle. Ethan should have your blood test and ECG results by now."

Emma nodded tiredly. Cal stood up and helped her to her feet. He knew that walking through the hospital with his arm around Emma was dangerous, but she looked so pale and dazed, he was afraid she might collapse.

They walked slowly. Cal kept telling her it was going to be all right now. "You're safe now, Emma, and no-one can hurt you."

His courage did fail him slightly when they met Zoe, but she just smiled. "Have the police gone? Good: I can have my office back."

"Yes: it's all yours," said Cal. "I promise we didn't trash the place too much."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Zoe. She looked at Emma, her face filled with sympathy. "Emma, we usually send our patients home in taxis if there's no-one to come and pick them up, but I can see you're a bit shaken, and understandably so, so I'll let Cal take you home if you need him to. You can stay for a bit if Emma needs you, Cal, but try to be back within an hour, please."

"Thanks, Zoe," said Cal, uncomfortably aware of the fact that Zoe seemed to have guessed everything, but grateful she hadn't told him off for manhandling the patients again. Perhaps she could see that Cal loved Emma and that it was mutual. "We are waiting for Emma's test results, but maybe I should take her straight home."

Zoe considered. "No, it's better if you wait. I know it's not much fun hanging around a hospital, Emma, but we'd like to put your mind at rest before you go. You go with Cal and he'll look after you."

"Thank you, Dr Hanna." Emma's voice was very quiet.

"And please let him know if you start to feel unwell in any way," said Zoe. "Looking after you is his job."

_Perhaps even a job for life_, thought Cal.

* * *

The cubicle was being used by someone else when Cal and Emma arrived. Cal knew he should take her to the waiting room, but he decided the staff room would be better. Quieter and safer. There was nothing to stop Emma's parents from going into the waiting room if they felt like it, though Cal didn't mention this to Emma.

To his relief, the staff room was empty, though he knew it wouldn't stay that way for long. He sat with his arm around Emma, but he was ready to remove it at a moment's notice.

Luckily, the first person to enter the staff room was Ethan. "There you are. I was looking for you."

"It's quieter in here," said Cal. "Have you got Emma's results?"

"Not yet," said Ethan. "They're a bit slow today. How did it go?"

Cal told him the gist of what had happened.

"I'm glad everything's all right now," said Ethan. He sounded as though he meant it. "I'll go and see if I can chase up those test results. The ECG looked fine: no irregularities. I don't think there's any need to repeat it. How's Emma's pulse now?"

"Fine," said Cal, who'd recently checked it. "A bit fast, but that's often the case with hospital patients."

Ethan smiled Emma. "It's not exactly the most relaxing environment, is it?"

"No," agreed Emma with a small smile.

"Not forgetting that Emma is having her pulse taken by me," said Cal. "It might be lower if you took it."

"Most likely," said Ethan, but he made no attempt to take Emma's pulse. "I'd better go. I only came to check on you. I've got patients to see."

"Are you seeing my patients?" asked Cal, remembering that Ethan was technically off-duty now.

Ethan nodded. "Someone has to and you're too busy."

Cal caught his arm. "I do appreciate it, you know."

Ethan smiled. "That makes a nice change!" His words were light, but Cal got the impression he was as grateful for Cal's words as Cal was for his help.

* * *

Cal looked down at the print-out. His eyes moved from one set of results to another. He didn't know the exact cut-off points as well as he should, but he knew enough to be sure when someone's results were in the normal range and when they weren't. He finished looking at the blood results and checked the ECG. As Ethan had said, there was nothing to worry about besides the speed and that was easily explained by the situation.

"Is everything okay?" said Emma. She sounded anxious.

"Everything's fine," said Cal. "I'll keep monitoring your heart rate over the next few days, but I think it's likely you had a panic attack. If you have any more, maybe we can prescribe something for you, or if not, I'll contact your GP and arrange it. But I hope you'll be okay now."

"I hope so," said Emma.

Cal kissed her. "I'll look after you, Emma. Now we'd better go and find Ethan. I'd much rather take you home myself, but I don't want to leave you on your own so it makes more sense for Ethan to take you as he's going home anyway. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay," said Emma. "I do like Ethan. I don't think he's scary at all now."

Cal smiled. "And you don't think he's my boyfriend?"

Emma very nearly laughed. "I think that's the last thing he is."

* * *

Cal could tell Emma was nearly asleep. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and gave it five more minutes. Then he let go of her hand, tucked it inside the bedclothes and went to find Ethan.

"Is Emma asleep?" said Ethan.

Cal nodded. "But I need to talk to you."

"I need to talk to you too, actually," said Ethan. He gestured towards Cal. "But you go first."

Cal sat down. He felt tired and on edge and the last thing he wanted was to have a conversation like this with Ethan. "It's about Emma's blood tests."

"I thought you said they came back normal," said Ethan.

"I told Emma they came back normal," said Cal.

Ethan gasped. He leaned forward and spoke to Cal in a low voice. "You lied to Emma about her blood results?"

Cal nodded and spoke in a strangled voice. "I didn't want to tell her the truth."


	21. Chapter 21

**CBloom2**, no, it doesn't sound good, does it? I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. I'm probably writing too many stories at once, which makes me very slow! Thank you for the review.

**20BlueRoses**, you'll have to wait and see! But you won't have to wait very long. Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy the twists - firstly because I enjoy writing them and secondly because there are almost certainly more to come!

**Gillian Kearney Fan**, you'll find out very soon! Thank you for reading and reviewing I really appreciate it.

**ETWentHome**, thank you for the review! Emma's parents aren't in this chapter, though they haven't gone for good, but you will find out why Cal lied. Thank you for the review!

**Tanith Panic**, I'm really happy you have some sympathy with what Cal did - it was the wrong thing to do professionally, but he does have his reasons. Aw thank you so much, that's so kind of you!

* * *

Ethan looked very concerned, but he spoke gently. "I can understand why you don't want to tell her, Cal. That's one of the problems with treating someone you're close to. But if Emma has something wrong with her, she has to know."

Cal's voice shook. "I don't think I can do it."

"Then I'll tell her," said Ethan. He looked at Cal for a moment, then sat beside him on the sofa. "One of us does have to tell her, Cal. You know that."

"It's all just so difficult!" burst out Cal.

"I know," said Ethan, much more sympathetically than Cal would have expected. "Breaking bad news is difficult. Admitting you lied is difficult. But if Emma has any kind of medical condition, she'll need it treated or at least monitored. You do want that, don't you?"

"Of course I do," said Cal.

Ethan spoke soothingly. "Why don't you tell me what it is, and then we can decide how to tell Emma."

It comforted Cal slightly to know that Ethan was there. It wasn't easy, but after a while he was able to say the words. "Emma has a low platelet count."

"I did wonder if it was that," admitted Ethan. "Is everything else all right?"

"In terms of the blood tests and ECG, yes," said Cal. "But what this says about her mental state…"

Ethan nodded. "We knew her mental state was a cause for concern. This doesn't necessarily mean things are worse than we thought. But…"

"What?" Cal said sharply.

Ethan didn't answer.

"Ethan, what?" Cal was almost frightened now. "Tell me!"

Ethan started to speak but stopped. "We'll go to my room. We don't want to wake Emma."

They sat close together on the edge of Ethan's bed. There was plenty of space, but Cal felt the need to be close to Ethan. If Ethan was surprised by this, he didn't show it.

"I checked some of the files today," said Ethan. "On the computer system, I mean."

Cal frowned. "You mean you checked Emma's file?"

"Emma's was one of them," said Ethan. "That's how I knew you'd updated the records to make yourself her next of kin. You'd better hope Mrs Beauchamp doesn't notice or there will be questions."

"She can hardly expect my girlfriend not to be on the computer system," said Cal. "Most people's girlfriends live in the same area as them and most people have had hospital treatment."

Ethan seemed about to say something about this, but then he changed his mind. "Emma's notes are very sketchy. No known medical conditions apart from depression. No admissions due to self-harm or suicide attempts."

"Isn't that good?" said Cal, confused.

"Theoretically," said Ethan. "But it's strange, considering that she implied that she self-harmed regularly until she left her parents' home to live with her friends. Even if she was treated at a different hospital, you'd expect her records to have been transferred. But that's not all, Cal. I…" He gave Cal an apologetic look. "I looked at her friends' records as well."

Cal was surprised, but he didn't see how it mattered.

Ethan seemed to be screwing up his courage. "Cal, this will probably upset you, but I really think I need to tell you so I'll just say it. There is no record of Georgia having thrombocytopenia until Emma reported it on their admission to hospital. The same applies with Andrea's allergy to ibuprofen. No records of an allergic reaction."

"The records of that are probably with the GP," said Cal.

"I've thought of that," said Ethan. He sounded a bit sad. "I've spent all day trying to think of possibilities. But if Georgia had thrombocytopenia, she would have been under the care of a haematologist at the hospital. And if Andrea had any kind of reaction to ibuprofen, she'd have come to the ED."

"Unless she went to St James'," said Cal.

Ethan shook his head. "There's more, Cal." His words came with deep reluctance. "Andrea was admitted to our hospital about eighteen months ago with a fractured navicular. She was given ibuprofen. No allergic reactions were noted."

The room went out of focus. Cal reached out blindly and felt Ethan taking his hand. He clung to it for a moment, then tore his hand away. "That doesn't mean… there might be… Emma probably made a mistake!"

"Of course it's possible," said Ethan doubtfully.

"It doesn't mean she lied!" said Cal desperately. "I'm sure she didn't lie. She couldn't have lied. She must have got it wrong."

Ethan looked almost wretched. "I hope that's what happened, Cal. I really do. But you do need to consider the alternative."

Cal wanted to argue. He wanted to shout at Ethan. Shake him. Punch him. Accuse him of jealousy. Anything but admit the truth.

But he knew Ethan was right.

Cal's eyes filled with tears. "But I love her, Ethan."

Ethan put his arm around him. "I know you do," he said.

* * *

Cal didn't sleep very much. Everything he and Ethan had talked about kept running over and over in his mind. Ethan had told him to wake him up if he wanted to talk, but Cal hadn't taken him up on it. He appreciated Ethan's support, but Cal knew he couldn't change anything.

He was relieved that Emma was still asleep when it was time to leave. Cal wrote her a note and left it on the pillow. Then he returned to Ethan. The look of sympathy in his eyes was almost too much for Cal. "Stop looking at me like that!"

Ethan hurriedly averted his eyes. "Sorry."

Cal swallowed hard. "Can you drive today?"

"Of course I can," said Ethan.

* * *

Cal wasn't himself at work that day. He thought under the circumstances, he was doing quite well, but he was a long way from his best. He lost concentration a couple of times, lost his temper once (under severe provocation, it had to be said) and also lost a patient, which reduced him almost to tears, much to the surprise of Connie and Lofty. He was sent for a break after that and wasn't convinced it was a coincidence when Ethan arrived in the staff room a few minutes later.

Ethan stared at him with shocked, concerned eyes and then sat beside him. "Why don't you go home."

Cal shook his head. "I can't. Emma's there."

"You don't want to see her?" said Ethan sympathetically.

"I don't know!" said Cal. "I still love her, Ethan. That hasn't changed. But if I see her, I'd have to tell her. I don't think I'd be able to keep it to myself."

Ethan's voice was softer than usual. It sounded as though speaking was an effort. "We will have to tell her tonight."

Cal nodded. He knew Ethan was right. He looked pleadingly at his brother. "You'll be there when I tell her, won't you? I can't do it on my own."

"Of course I'll be there," said Ethan.

Cal returned to work, but it wasn't long before he was in trouble again. Ethan managed to cover for him and take the blame the first time, but although he tried to stick close to his brother, they couldn't stay together indefinitely. Robyn gave him a very worried look when he asked for a 'full urine count' and 'thyroid dysfunction test' and Connie banished him from Resus when he managed to get his diastolic and systolic pressure confused. Fortunately, it was very clear what he meant, but Connie decided he was no use to her and told him to go away and find someone competent.

Cal found Lily and sent her to Resus and then went in search of Ethan. Ethan took one look at him and told his patient he'd just be a minute. "Cal, has something happened?"

"I don't know," said Cal. He grasped at Ethan's arm. He felt as though he needed to hold on to something. "I was thinking and it doesn't make sense."

"You're trembling," said Ethan, concerned. "Go and get some tea and wait for me in the staff room. I'll be with you as soon as I can."

"Don't be long," pleaded Cal.

Ethan usually got annoyed when Cal made demands on his time, but this time it was different. "As soon as I finish with this patient, I'll come and find you. I'll be about five minutes."

Cal went to the staff room, but he forgot about the tea. He sat down and let the images flow through his mind again, just as they'd done when Connie had asked him for the blood pressure reading. It didn't make sense and he couldn't help remembering that Ethan had tried to tell him something about the car accident. Cal had brushed him aside and Ethan hadn't returned to the subject again. He might have changed his mind, but perhaps he'd decided Cal was upset enough already.

Ethan was with him in under five minutes. "Did you have some tea?"

Cal shook his head. "I need to talk to you, Ethan. I just… thought of something. And it doesn't make sense."

Ethan sat beside him. "Okay. Start at the beginning. What doesn't make sense?"

"You said there was something that confused you about the car accident," said Cal. "And I think I know what it is because now I'm confused too."


	22. Chapter 22

**ETWentHome**, thank you for the review! I'm really happy you're finding it interesting and I hope you'll continue to do so.

**Tanith Panic**, thank you! That's really kind of you and it means a lot. I hope it continues to be interesting. It does get quite dramatic, but that's not necessarily the same as being interesting!

**CBloom2**, I'm sorry you're confused. My plots can be convoluted. I hope things are clearer after this chapter, but I can't promise! Thank you for the review.

**20BlueRoses**, I'm really happy you're not sure if you should trust Emma or not - that's the reaction I was hoping for! Thank you for the review.

* * *

Ethan sat close to Cal and waited. "Take your time. Don't try to rush."

"I can't take my time!" said Cal. "We're supposed to be working. We might be needed at any time. I'll _have_ to be quick."

"I suppose it might be easier if you just spit it out," said Ethan encouragingly. "Sometimes that's the best way."

It was difficult getting the words out when Cal was so afraid of the answer, but he knew he had to or Ethan would never be able to tell him he was wrong. "I don't understand why Emma didn't have any cuts from the car crash. The others all did. But not Emma."

"That's exactly what I was wondering," said Ethan heavily.

"That dress she had on was very revealing," continued Cal. "It was short and it was low-cut."

He glanced at Ethan as he spoke, expecting some kind of eye-rolling exasperation from his brother, but Ethan's expression didn't so much as flicker.

"I saw quite a lot of skin, but I didn't see any blood on her," said Cal. "Except on her hands, but that was Georgia's blood."

"It is possible she was just very lucky," said Ethan, but without conviction.

"Lucky?!"

"Oh, you know what I mean," said Ethan with a hint of impatience. "But it did make me wonder…"

Cal completed his sentence with a great effort. "…if she was actually in the car when it went over."

Ethan looked relieved that he hadn't had to say it. "You were there," said Ethan. "Is it possible she went down the cliff after the car and got inside?"

"I would have said no," said Cal. "I got there quite quickly. I saw the car turning over. There was no sign of anyone outside it." He shrugged helplessly. "But I don't know. I had my back to the car some of the time. I did look over my shoulder quite a lot, but it is just about possible Emma got into the car when I wasn't looking."

"Though it sounds like she'd hardly have had any time to get down the hill," said Ethan. "Would that have been enough time?"

"She's a dancer," said Cal with a helpless shrug. "She's probably very light on her feet. I'd have said her heels were too high for climbing – but who knows?"

"She probably wasn't _that_ light on her feet," said Ethan. "If she wasn't in the car, she must have broken her wrist on the way down. She might have fallen quite a long way, which might explain how she got down so quickly." He looked almost impressed. "She must have a very high pain tolerance – or a lot of determination – to get straight up and get into the car."

Cal dropped his head into his hands. "She does have a very high pain tolerance. She barely showed any signs of pain when I was with her. And if she saw my taxi go past, she'd have known she didn't have the time to stop and nurse her injuries."

Ethan sounded almost sad. "You know, I didn't expect it to be like this. I thought it would be me saying all this and you telling me it's impossible."

Cal looked up and almost screamed into his brother's face. "Don't you think I'd love to be telling you that? Don't you think I want more than anything to tell you my girlfriend isn't capable of murder?"

"Cal, just because she lied about a few things, that doesn't make her a murderer," said Ethan.

"I know, but… I don't know what to think," said Cal helplessly. "I love her, Ethan. I believe she loved her friends. I believe she was in that car. I believe the accident was in no way her fault."

Ethan gave a hesitant smile. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"No, because I don't believe in myself!" said Cal. "I believed Taylor loved me too. I believed her charity was genuine. Even when I found out it wasn't, I believed I was different from all the other guys I conned." His voice dropped almost to a whisper. "How can I trust my judgment on anything?"

"Because this is different," said Ethan. "Taylor was a professional con-woman. When has Emma tried to get…" His voice trailed away.

Cal smiled painfully. "Yes, Emma got money out of me too. Because she couldn't get into some joint account which I've never seen any evidence of." His eyes filled. "Why did I just believe her? Why do I always believe everything I'm told?"

"You've always had a weakness for people who need rescuing," said Ethan with a sad smile. "You always did want to be a superhero."

"Then isn't it about time I grew out of it?" Cal said bitterly.

"No, that's part of what makes you such a good doctor," said Ethan. "Because you really want to help, and you know it's not just about patching up the physical injuries."

Cal wanted to believe it, but he couldn't. "I always thought you were the gullible one, Ethan."

"I am!" said Ethan. "I'm the one who looked to see if gullible was in the dictionary, remember?"

Cal tried to blink his tears away. "And I thought you were the one who was useless with women."

"I am useless with women!" said Ethan. "I'm sure I'd have been conned lots of times if I'd actually dared to say a word to some of the women who might possibly have been showing an interest. None of this is your fault, Cal. You can't be on your guard all the time. Everyone has weaknesses. "

"Even you?" said Cal.

"Oh, heavens, yes," said Ethan. "I would give you the list, but you did say we don't have much time."

Cal took a shaky breath. "Don't ever remind me I said this, but I'm glad you're here, Ethan."

"Of course I'm here," said Ethan. He smiled. "I'm sure there are times when you wish I wasn't your brother. The feeling's definitely mutual. But it doesn't matter how many times you change your name or disappear for months on end or give my money away. You're still my brother. We're stuck like this – and there are much worse people I could be stuck with. And not many better."

Cal was about to laugh at Ethan – or try to - for making such a soppy speech, but then he realised something.

Something he hadn't thought of before.

"Ethan, you know when you looked at Emma's records?"

Ethan nodded.

"How far back did the records go?"

"Not very far at all," said Ethan. "She's only had two admissions to hospital – a dance injury and the car crash, both in the last few years. No record of any admissions for mental health problems, as I told you."

"Yes, but Emma changed her name," said Cal. "If she'd brought her change of name deed to the hospital, her record would have been updated to show the new name. But if she said nothing and then presented at the hospital under a different name, a new record would be created. But the old record would still exist. If we search for Emma under her birth name, we might find more information."

But Ethan's pager was beeping. "Sorry, Cal. I've got to go. But listen to me. Please don't do _anything_ without me, okay? Don't look at any records; don't do anything. Just wait here till I get back."

He left the room without waiting for Cal's answer.

* * *

Cal did think about doing as Ethan had told him. He had some tea and found he did feel a little bit calmer, but the urge to check the records was just too strong. He wandered towards reception, trying to look casual, which led to three different people asking if he was all right. Cal said he was fine and hurried to reception.

"Cal, are you okay?" said Noel.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" said Cal as he stationed himself in front of one of the computers. He knew Noel wouldn't be able to see the screen from where he was standing, or at least not well enough for him to see what he was doing, but Cal couldn't help worrying. There was no reason why he shouldn't check a patient's records if he wanted to and anyone who looked at his screen would be unlikely to know for certain that Emma Silbertson wasn't a current patient, but he was still afraid.

And not just of being caught. He was even more afraid of what he might find.

"You don't look quite yourself," said Noel.

"I'm not feeling quite myself," said Cal distractedly. He made a sound of frustration as he realised he'd entered his password incorrectly. "But I'm fine. Just get on with your work and let me get on with mine."

"Charming!" said Louise.

"Yes, that's what everyone says about me," said Cal as the computer finally let him into the system.

"Not what _I'd_ say about you," said Louise.

Cal ignored her and searched for Emma Silbertson. There was only one. Cal looked at the name and felt himself beginning to tremble. Perhaps he should have waited for Ethan. He couldn't do this on his own.

No, of course he could do this on his own! He didn't need his little brother to help him look up patients. Cal clicked on Emma's name.

There was a lot to read. Her depression and suicide attempts didn't come as a surprise. The compulsive lying probably shouldn't have done either, but it still hit Cal right in the gut. Paranoia and delusions…

But there was more. Emma had physical conditions too. The words swam out of focus almost as soon as Cal had read then, but he knew he'd never forget them.

Thrombocytopenia and an allergy to aspirin.

Cal gripped onto the edge of the table, fighting nausea. This was the girl he loved. The girl for whom he would have done anything.

"Cal?" An arm went around his shoulders. "Come and sit down for a minute. Louise, could you get someone?"

Cal shook off Noel's arm. He backed away from the computer, then turned and ran out of reception. He stopped at his locker to pick up his keys, but he didn't bother to get changed.

He met Lofty on the way out. "Cal, are you okay? Louise said you weren't well."

"Louise says a lot of things that are open to interpretation," said Cal shortly, and then felt a hundred times worse because the same could be said of his girlfriend.

"Cal… mate…" Lofty looked at a loss. "How about if I get Ethan? Something's obviously happened and-"

"Nothing's happened!" shouted Cal. He advanced on Lofty, who took a few steps backwards. "Just let me out of here!"

Lofty looked deeply concerned, but he moved aside obediently. "Let me know if there's anything I can do, yeah?"

Cal didn't bother to answer. He got out of the ED as quickly as he could and got into his car. He managed to calm himself down a little bit as he drove, knowing it was important he got to the flat on one piece rather than ending up back in the ED as a patient, but his emotions rose to the surface again as he made his way up to the flat. He let himself in and slammed the door behind him.

Emma was sitting on the sofa. She was looking in the direction of the television, but it wasn't switched on. She turned towards him, looking first surprised and then beginning to smile. But something of Cal's feelings must have shown on his face because her smile faded and her eyes slowly widened as she looked at Cal with an expression of wariness, if not actual fear.

"I need to talk to you," said Cal.


	23. Chapter 23

**ETWentHome**, thank you for the review. You never know, the talk between Cal and Emma might go brilliantly! It does seem unlikely though. Cal really needs to listen to Ethan more often, doesn't he?

**Tato Potato**, aw thank you so much! It's really kind of you to say that and it makes me feel really happy! I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

**Tanith Panic**, he could be in danger - it's never a good idea to be alone with someone you think is capable of murder, but Cal isn't the first fictional character to do that and he won't be the last! I'm glad you liked the lighter moments. Thank you for the review.

* * *

Cal had expected to cry or shout or show his emotions in some way, but instead his voice was steady and calm. He walked slowly over to a chair and moved it so he was sitting opposite Emma. "I know what you did," he said.

Bewilderment crept into Emma's eyes. "What have I done?" she whispered fearfully.

"I think you know."

"No, I don't know," said Emma. Her eyes were large and appealing. "But tell me, Cal. Please tell me so we can talk about it!"

Cal rubbed his hands over his face. "I don't know where to start, really," he said.

Emma cowered back against the sofa. Her hands were held together in her lap. Her whole body was tense and she looked terrified .

She had reason to be, but Cal still felt a twinge of guilt as he continued. "You've always been a liar, Emma, haven't you? You've been telling people for years that your parents were cruel to you. You cut yourself and said it was because of them. You had the police called in; social workers, but they never found anything because there was never anything to find."

"No!" said Emma. Tears filled her eyes. "I didn't lie! They were horrible to me. They made me unhappy. That's why I had to get away from them."

"And then you finally did manage to get away," said Cal. "You found some people who were prepared to put up with you. I'm sure they were grateful for your help at first. Because you're a very good dancer, aren't you, Emma? Very light on your feet. Very quick. Exceptionally quick."

Emma started to cry. "Cal, why are you angry with me? I don't understand! I thought you loved me."

Even now she was tugging at his heartstrings. Even now, after everything he knew. Cal swallowed. "And I thought you loved me."

"Of course I love you," said Emma.

Cal shook his head. "You don't. Maybe you really believe you do; I don't know. But we're not talking about me. What happened the day of the accident, Emma? What did your friends say to upset you?"

Emma's face was full of fear. "How did you know that? Who told you? Did one of them say something before…"

"No. They didn't need to," said Cal. "I know you were upset with them. I know you weren't in the car when it came off the road."

"What?" said Emma. She looked genuinely shocked, but perhaps she was just shocked he'd found out. "Of course I was!"

"I know you got yourself down the hill as quickly as lightning," said Cal. "Falling over and breaking your wrist probably helped you get down more quickly still. If that hadn't happened, you probably wouldn't have got back into the car without me seeing you."

"What are you talking about?" said Emma. "Do you seriously think I could have…"

"I don't want to believe it," said Cal sadly. "But I don't see what alternative there is. You got back in the car and tried to help Georgia. I don't know why. Maybe you really did care about her. Or maybe you just knew I was coming and wanted to make a good impression."

"No, I didn't know anyone was coming!" cried Emma wildly. "And of course I cared about Georgia!"

Cal shook his head. "Then why did you tell us she had thrombocytopenia? She didn't have it, Emma. The only person in that car with thrombocytopenia was you. And you obviously didn't care about Andrea. Denying her pain relief. Saying she was the one with an allergy when in fact it was you. You were clever enough to change the type of medication – you knew we wouldn't be giving Andrea aspirin. But you are very clever, aren't you, Emma? I can see why your parents were disappointed you didn't get into university. Whatever you lack, Emma, it's not intelligence."

Emma pressed her hands to the sides of her head. "Okay, yes, you could say I lied about Georgia and Andrea. But the rest of it…"

"You lied to me about a lot of things," said Cal. "The joint account. I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for that! You got a thousand pounds out of me, Emma. You tried to get another three thousand on top of that. Was the rent really that much, Emma? For that pathetic little flat? Or was this something you and Doug had cooked up between you?"

"Of course not!" said Emma. "I hadn't seen him since the accident. I was at the hospital the whole time!"

"But I gave you your phone back," said Cal. "All you had to do is phone or text him."

Emma's voice rose to a shriek. "I didn't phone him, Cal! I didn't contact him in any way. And it is true about the joint account. We made it that way because of Izzy. We found out she was taking money out and spending it on drink so we set it up so none of us could get money out on our own."

Cal's breath caught. "You thought that up very quickly."

"That's because it's true!" said Emma. "You know she liked drinking. That's why she was drunk the day of the crash."

"But we've only got your word for that," said Cal. "We've only got your word for a lot of things. When your parents came to your flat, they didn't do anything wrong, did they? All they wanted to do was take care of you. But you didn't want that. You cut yourself in your flat, cleaned it up a bit with cotton wool and then got out of there. You didn't drop your razor: you left it in your flat. Then you told us that story about cutting yourself just before you phoned me."

Emma was looking frightened again. "How did you know about the cotton wool?"

"Ethan found traces of it in the cut," said Cal. "He's very clever, my brother. He's the one who figured most of it out. I was too in love with you to notice a thing."

Emma sniffled. "I'm in love with you too, Cal."

Cal gave her a look of disgust. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"It's true!" said Emma. "But most of what you're saying, it's not true. It is true I cut myself in the house. I don't know why I didn't tell you the truth about that, but once I'd started…"

Cal sighed. "I suppose it is a bit of a habit with you, Emma. Maybe you can't help doing it. But that doesn't change what you've done. I could call the police right now." Cal felt tears forming in his eyes and got abruptly to his feet. "What you've done is wrong, Emma. Very wrong. But… I do still love you."

"I love you too," sobbed Emma. "And I didn't do all that stuff. Not all of it."

"I can't call the police." Cal's throat was clogged with emotion. "I'm not strong enough. But Ethan is. And I'm going to tell him everything you did. He suspects a lot of it already. I'll tell him you're still here in the flat and that's where the police will look for you first. But I'm going to give you a chance. Leave now and perhaps they won't find you. But if you stay here…" Cal knew he couldn't fight the tears any longer. "Goodbye, Emma. Good luck," he said and left the flat.

He raced down the stairs and out into the car park. He knew he was too upset to drive, but he didn't want to be still there when Emma left the flat. If he saw her again, he might change his mind.

* * *

Cal didn't feel in any state to work, but he knew he couldn't go home. He drove back to the ED and sat in the car park for a while. He wasn't crying now. He didn't know why. He was nothing but a mass of pain. Sharp pains; aches; every kind of pain you could imagine. Sprains, strains, dislocations and most definitely breaks. Particularly to his heart. A comminuted fracture, he decided, and felt his mouth twist into a humourless smile. Smiling hurt too.

His phone rang. He thought about ignoring it, but there seemed no point. If it was Emma, he wouldn't speak to her, but the rest of his life was continuing around him and Cal couldn't stop it. If Connie Beauchamp wanted to chew him out for leaving work, let her. He didn't care.

It was Ethan. He sounded agitated. "Cal, where are you?"

"In the car park," said Cal.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere."

"Good," said Ethan, sounding just slightly more relaxed. "Don't go anywhere. I'm on my way."

"There's nothing you can do," said Cal. His voice sounded odd, even to his own ears. "Nothing anyone can do."

"I'm still-" began Ethan, but then his voice sharpened. "Cal, _where have you been?_"

"Just to the flat," said Cal.

Ethan sounded almost frightened. "Oh God, Caleb. What have you done?"

"I told her what we knew," said Cal.

"Hold on, Cal. I'm here."

Cal turned his head and saw Ethan framed by the passenger window. He leaned across and opened the door.

Ethan got into the car, pressing the disconnect button on his phone. Cal realised his own phone was still against his ear and threw it onto the back seat.

He still felt out of it, unconnected with the rest of the world, but he certainly felt it when Ethan took his hand in his and squeezed it tightly. "I'm sorry, Cal. I never should have left you."

"I looked at her records," said Cal.

"I know," said Ethan. "I'm sure I would have done too. But we need to go back there, Cal. Or I do."

"She probably won't be there," said Cal despondently. "I told her I was going to tell you what she'd done and you would probably tell the police."

Ethan froze in horror. Then he seemed to come to a decision. "We'll go in my car. You're in no state to drive. I'll explain on the way. And you'd better tell me exactly what you said to her."

The urgency in his voice got through to Cal. He didn't know why Ethan wanted to see Emma, but he could tell it was important to his brother. And his brother was the most important person in Cal's life.

They got into Ethan's car and Ethan started up the engine. "Okay. Tell me what you found in the records and what you told Emma."

Cal told him as succinctly as he could. He was forced to admit that the things he'd said sounded much worse when reported to Ethan than they had at the time.

This was only confirmed by the horrified look on Ethan's face. "I can understand why you did it, Cal. You must have been very hurt. I don't blame you at all. But I just hope…"

"You hope what?" said Cal, when Ethan didn't continue.

Ethan's voice quivered slightly. "Cal, I don't want to tell you like this, but I can't stop the car. We haven't got time to stop. But it's going to hurt you and I'm so sorry. The emergency patient I was called to see was Emma's dad, though I didn't realise that at first. He was run over… by Emma's mum."


	24. Chapter 24

**ETWentHome**, I'm glad you think it's quite a cool twist! That wasn't in the synopsis until quite recently - I've planned a number of different endings but kept changing my mind! Thank you for the review.

**20BlueRoses**, I hope you'll be less confused after the less few chapters. If not, it's my fault for not making it clearer! Thank you very much for saying I've kept Cal and Ethan in character. It's not always easy. Thank you for the review!

**TheAtomicCheesepuff**, thank you for the review. I'm happy you're enjoying all the drama - especially as there is more of it to come!

**Tanith Panic**, aw thank you so much! I really appreciate all your reviews and your support. I really hope you'll be gripped by the next chapter too!

**Tato Potato**, thank you very much for saying that. I would like to be proud of it, but it could be a lot better. I hope you enjoy the next chapter too.

_I've finished writing this story now, through I'm sure I'll do lots of rewriting, but there are 29 chapters altogether. So not far to go! Thank you for encouraging me to keep writing and posting._

* * *

Cal stared at Ethan. "What? What happened? Is he okay?"

"He's critical but stable," said Ethan. "He was able to talk and he told me Emma's mum has always been physically and mentally abusive towards him and Emma. She was the one who hurt Emma with the razor the night she came to us. Emma been asking for help for years, but he was too afraid to tell the truth and no-one believed Emma."

"Oh God." Cal felt sick. He started to tremble. "Ethan, what have I done to her? I accused her of lying just like everyone else must have done in her whole life. "

Ethan took his hand off the steering wheel and pressed Cal's hand briefly. "You did what you could with the information you had available. That's all anyone can do. And if Emma's been called a liar her whole life, then it's something she's dealt with lots of times. Something she can survive."

"But I'm her boyfriend," groaned Cal.

"It's surprisingly easy to forgive the people you really love," said Ethan. "Try not to think about what you've done, Cal. Think what you're going to say to Emma when we find her."

"If we find her," said Cal.

Ethan cast him a quick look of sympathy. "If she's not in the flat, we're not giving up." Then he hit his hand against the steering wheel. "What's wrong with me? I'm a complete idiot. Phone her."

"She wouldn't answer the phone to me," said Cal. He frowned. "I haven't got my phone anyway. I think I left it in my car."

"Then use my phone." Ethan nodded towards the phone resting on top of the dashboard.

Cal grabbed it and typed in Emma's number. The phone rang… and rang… and rang… and went to voicemail. "Emma, it's Cal. I love you and I'm so, so sorry. I was stupid. Please, if you get this, go back to the flat. No-one's going to call the police. I understand if you don't want to see me again, but Ethan's here too. He wants to help you. Please talk to him if you can't talk to me. I'll wait in the car if that's what you want. I love you, Emma." Cal's voice broke. He dropped the phone into his lap and buried his head in his hands.

Ethan gave his shoulder a brief pat. "I know it doesn't really help. But I am here, Cal."

Cal didn't answer. He felt the car slowing down; heard the clicking of the indicator. He felt the car turning and then stopping. The handbrake clicked. There was another click as Ethan released his seatbelt.

"We're here," said Ethan. Cal sat up and undid his seatbelt. Ethan put his arm around him. "I know it's going to be difficult, Cal, but we're in this together, okay?"

"Okay." Cal could barely get the word out, but he got out of the car and started walking towards the flat.

Then he realised Ethan wasn't moving. He was staring upwards, his face pale. Cal followed his gaze up to the top of the flats to the figure standing there.

Cal felt his knees buckling, but he held onto the car and managed to stay upright. "Emma…"

"I'll call an ambulance," said Ethan. His voice was quite calm. He got out his phone. With his free hand, he took hold of Cal's arm and propelled him towards the block of flats.

Cal's hands were shaking, but he managed to get his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the outer door. As usual, the lift was out of order and Cal hit the doors in frustration. Ethan gently pulled him away from the lift and together, they hurried up the stairs. There was no sound in the building apart from their footsteps and Ethan's calm voice on the phone which Cal knew concealed panic because he knew his brother.

"The ambulance is on its way," said Ethan.

"How could she have got up there?" said Cal, barely able to speak through his terror.

"Most probably a window," said Ethan. "Or a skylight. We've already surmised that she might be a very good climber…"

"She said she was in the car," said Cal. "She admitted to hurting herself in the flat, but…" He looked up at Ethan. "But you're saying her mum did it?" His sigh was close to a moan. "She must have been too scared to tell me the truth. Either that or she didn't expect to be believed."

Ethan nodded. His steps were starting to slow a bit now and his breathing had quickened. He wasn't physically as robust as Cal. Cal looked at his brother for a moment, unsure what to do. They needed to get to Emma as soon as possible – but Cal didn't want to do it alone.

But what choice did he have?

"I'll go on ahead," said Cal. "You have a rest and come up slowly."

Ethan spoke breathlessly. "No, I'll be fine. I don't want you to deal with this on your own."

"I'm not dealing with this on my own," said Cal. "I know you're with me. I just need to get to Emma as quickly as possible."

"If you're sure you'll be okay," said Ethan doubtfully. "You shouldn't really be running with your ankle."

"Well, I don't see how I'm going to run without it!" snapped Cal.

Ethan smiled slightly. He seemed to recognise that he wasn't going to win this argument. "Okay. I'll be with you as soon as I can."

Cal raced up the remainder of the stairs. At the top was a traffic cone, standing directly underneath a skylight. Cal had brought the traffic cone home with him after a night out. Ethan had told him to get rid of it so Cal had taken it up to the top floor and left it there.

Cal realised that if Emma had balanced on the traffic cone to pull herself up through the skylight, that would be his fault too.

But he had no time for self-recrimination. He had to get to Emma.

Being taller than Emma, he didn't need to bother with the traffic cone, which probably wouldn't have been strong enough to take his weight anyway. Cal jumped into the air, caught hold of the edge of the skylight and pulled himself upwards. His arms ached from the effort and he couldn't help admiring Emma's determination. Pulling yourself up through a skylight with a broken wrist was no joke. The pain must have been excruciating. Cal couldn't help but admire her strength and courage.

But she was using it in the wrong way. Instead of fighting her problems, she was running away from them. Forever.

Cal was much broader than Emma and knew he'd struggle to get through the gap, but when he pushed at the skylight with his shoulders, it obligingly opened a little wider. Cal pulled himself through and got to his feet. Relief rushed through him as he saw Emma. She was standing near the edge, looking down, but she was still there. Cal stood there for a moment. He knew he mustn't startle her, but he knew equally that he needed to alert her to his presence if he was going to have any chance of talking her out of this.

Cal spoke very softly. "Emma, I love you," he said.

He knew Emma had heard him. Her body tensed just slightly, but she didn't turn to face him. Perhaps she wasn't sure if she'd really heard it.

"Emma," he said, louder.

Emma didn't turn around. "Cal?" she said. Her voice was flat. If she was surprised, she didn't show it.

Cal moved closer to her. "Yes, it's me and I'm so sorry," he said. "I never should have said what I did. I never should have made all those accusations."

"It's okay," said Emma resignedly. "Some of them were right."

"Maybe they were, but I shouldn't have spoken to you the way I did," said Cal. He wondered if he should say he knew about her mum but decided against it. Emma would want to know how he knew and Cal didn't want to tell her about her dad when she was standing on the edge of a building. She would probably have questions too and Cal didn't have the answers. Only Ethan had those and Cal really hoped Ethan wasn't going to do anything stupid like trying to climb through a skylight.

Emma sighed. "I deserved how you spoke to me."

"Of course you didn't," said Cal. His voice shook. "And now you're thinking about jumping off the roof because of something I said."

"Not really," said Emma, almost dreamily. "I've been thinking about this for a long time."

"But what I said triggered it," said Cal. "I promised to support you no matter what and I didn't."

"Everyone has limits, Cal," said Emma. "Everyone reaches a stage when they just can't support someone anymore."

Cal couldn't help thinking the same stage had been reached by her dad today. He presumably loved Emma's mum, but enough was enough. "Emma, please will you come away from the edge? We can talk about this."

"I can talk here," said Emma. She still hadn't turned to look at Cal and he could see her toes were millimetres from the edge. "Just don't come any closer, Cal. I hate it when people sneak up on me."

Her voice was so still and calm. It made Cal shiver. "Why do you hate it? Did someone used to sneak up on you?"

Emma sounded weary. "It doesn't matter, Cal. What does anything really matter?"

"You matter," said Cal. "You matter to me. A lot. You tried to tell me before what happened when you had your car accident. I was stupid and didn't listen to you. But I'm listening now, Emma. Please will you tell me what happened?"

There was a long silence, or so it seemed to Cal. "Have you called anyone?" said Emma at last. "About me?"

"No, I haven't," said Cal. Ethan had made the call and it looked like Emma had no idea Ethan was here. He was surprised she hadn't seen them getting out of the car, but perhaps they hadn't been recognisable from the top of the building. Or perhaps she could see nothing but her own misery.

Emma's shoulders relaxed slightly. "Okay, I'll tell you. I might as well."

"I'm listening," said Cal. "And I love you."

"You won't love me after I tell you," said Emma. "But that's okay. I won't be here for long."

Cal trembled at her last sentence but he answered the first. "Of course I'll still love you, Emma."

"I was in the car," said Emma, her voice soft but intense. "I was in the car the whole time. I promise, Cal."

Cal believed her. "I'm sorry. I just got this idea in my head. Something that didn't make sense. But I should have asked you, not accused you."

"I know why you had doubts," said Emma. "The others had cuts and I didn't. That was because of Georgia. She held on to me. She tried to shield me. She cared about me."

"I'm sure they all did," said Cal.

Emma's head moved from side to side. "No, they didn't. Only Georgia cared. Andrea and Izzy were planning on getting rid of me. They were going to make my birthday as special as possible and then they were going to break the news to me that they didn't want me to work with them anymore."

Cal heard the pain in her voice and longed to hold her. "Are you sure they were going to do that?"

"I heard them the night before," said Emma. "They didn't know I heard. I pretended I didn't know. But I was sitting in the car and I couldn't think of anything else. So I confronted them."

"And the shock caused Andrea to drive off the road?" said Cal gently.

"No, Cal!" Emma's voice rose in pitch. "That's not what happened. Stop trying to guess. You're getting it wrong. You always get it wrong!"

"I'm sorry," said Cal quickly. "I won't do it again. I'm listening, Emma."

"We all started arguing," said Emma, her voice calm and expressionless again. "Andrea said it was all true and I just wasn't good enough anymore. I was never as good as they were and I'd got worse. My concentration was going. My memory. I messed things up."

"You probably needed a break," said Cal.

Emma shrugged. "Maybe. I was tired. I was so tired. But Andrea said I had to stop. Georgia stuck up for me. She wanted me to stay. Izzy was on Andrea's side, but she was drunk again. She was shouting stuff about me. It made me angry. So I shoved her."

Cal closed his eyes. He remembered Izzy had been the one with her head through the sunroof. "And she… no, I'm sorry. You tell me what happened, Emma."

"She grabbed hold of the wheel to steady herself," said Emma in a slow, unnatural voice. "The wheel turned. The car fell."


	25. Chapter 25

**ETWentHome**, thank you for your review. I'm really happy you enjoyed the chapter - but there are a few more revelations to come...

**Tanith Panic**, I could imagine Cal trying to help by saying the words so Emma didn't have to - but of course that just makes it harder when he gets it wrong. Thank you for the review!

* * *

Cal held out his hand to her even though he knew she couldn't see it. "It wasn't your fault, Emma. You must have been so upset and you couldn't have known Izzy would grab the wheel. She could have grabbed Andrea's seat; her seat…"

Emma gave a sob. "I still shouldn't have shoved her. All my life, I tried not to be violent. I hate violence. It's wrong. It hurts. I promised myself I'd never be violent towards another person. But I did. And she died. They all died."

"That was an accident," said Cal. "It was tragic, but it wasn't your fault, Emma. You mustn't blame yourself. This hasn't changed anything. I still love you."

Emma was silent, but Cal could tell from the movement of her shoulders that she was crying.

"Why did you tell me Georgia had thrombocytopenia?" Cal asked as gently as he could.

"Because she had," said Emma.

"There was no record of it," said Cal. "No record that she'd ever had her platelet count checked or seen a haematologist."

"That's because she hasn't," said Emma. "She has no official diagnosis, but I noticed it took her a long time to stop bleeding. Longer than me. So I thought she must have it too." She sighed. "I told her to go to the doctor, but she wouldn't. She hated doctors. She hated hospitals." Her voice became hysterical. "She said that people died there!" Emma put her hands over her face. The movement seemed to throw her off balance slightly and she teetered on the edge, but incredibly, she kept her balance.

Or perhaps not incredibly. She was a dancer. Probably a very good one, no matter what Andrea and Izzy had said. Cal didn't know if it was instinct that saved her or the fact she didn't really want to die, but it gave him the tiniest scrap of hope.

Cal took a step closer. " It's all right. You just wanted to make sure Georgia got all the care and treatment she needed. You did well to spot it and to alert us to it. You did everything you could have done. Emma, please come away from the edge."

Emma didn't move.

"Okay, could you tell me about Andrea?" said Cal. If she wouldn't move, he needed to keep her talking. "You said she was allergic to ibuprofen."

"She is," said Emma.

Cal moved closer still. "Emma, Andrea was given ibuprofen in hospital a while ago. No allergic reactions were noted."

"She didn't have it in the hospital," said Emma. "She was fine in the hospital. But when she was discharged, she had a prescription for ibuprofen and it made her sick. So we thought she might be allergic to it."

Cal pressed his hands to his head, trying to think. He knew this was something he should be able to explain, but his girlfriend was standing on the edge of a building and he had trouble remembering anything at all. "It's unlikely to be an allergy, but ibuprofen tablets can be quite tough on the stomach. You can't take them on an empty stomach and some people can't take them at all. We would have administered the ibuprofen intravenously in the hospital so the effects wouldn't have showed until she started taking the tablets when she got home. You made a perfectly reasonable assumption and you acted in her best interests, Emma. And I'm proud of you."

Emma spoke in a low voice. "Did she die from the pain?"

"No. Andrea died from her injuries," said Cal. "She never regained consciousness so she didn't feel any pain, but if she had, she would have been given morphine. What you said didn't affect anything."

"But her injuries were my fault too," wept Emma.

Cal knew some might agree with her, but he didn't. "No, they weren't. They weren't anyone's fault. It was a tragic accident. Please come away from the edge, Emma. I love you and I want to hold you."

Emma didn't move.

"Come on, Emma," said Cal. "Take a step backwards. Go on. For me."

"I don't want to," said Emma.

Cal moved infinitesimally closer. "I know, baby, but I don't think you really want to go forwards either. You don't want to die. You just want all the pain to stop."

"But it won't," said Emma. "Even if nothing bad happens for the rest of my life, I can't be happy after what's happened."

"I can understand why you think that," said Cal. "In your place, I'd probably think the same. But why not give it a chance, Emma? You won't know what it's like unless you try. You're not on your own. You've got me."

Emma made a sound of helplessness. "But for how long, Cal?"

"Forever," said Cal.

"You can't guarantee forever," said Emma. "Most relationships don't last."

"But some do," said Cal.

"Yes, some do," said Emma in a tone of deep sadness. "Some people love so much and so strongly, they'll put up with anything. They'll put up with the pain. They'll even let someone else suffer for it. Anything rather than lose the person they love."

Cal took another step towards Emma. "But not all relationships are like that, Emma. The relationship you're describing, that's a dysfunctional relationship. They can last for a long time. But sometimes there comes a point where they can't put up with the other person any longer. Sometimes they have to break free."

Emma stood very still. Then, slowly, she turned to face him. She looked confused. "You said that like you know. But how can you know?"

Cal hesitated and held out his arms. "Come over here and I'll tell you."

Emma looked at him. Then she slowly took a step forward. Then another. All Cal wanted was to run towards her and take her in his arms, but he didn't want to startle her because he was afraid she might turn and run away from him.

And keep running.

"I love you," said Cal, still holding his arms out.

Emma moved so slowly, or so it seemed to Cal. Her movements were awkward as though she'd forgotten how to use her legs. Sometimes she stopped. Twice, she looked over her shoulder. It took all Cal's strength to stay where he was and just wait.

At last, she stood in front of him. Cal clasped her in his arms. "I love you, Emma."

She was trembling. "Tell me what you know."

Cal looked over at the skylight. "Ethan? Are you there?"

Ethan's voice sounded faint. "Yes, I'm here. Do you need me to come up?"

"Don't you even think about it!" said Cal.

"Is Emma okay?"

"I've got her," said Cal. "I'm going to tell her now. She might need you to answer some questions."

If Ethan made a response, it was drowned out by the sound of the ambulance.

Emma froze, then pulled free from Cal's grasp.

Cal moved instinctively. He launched towards her, pushed her to the ground and lay beside her.

"Let me go!" said Emma.

"I can't," said Cal very softly. "I'm sorry, Emma. But I can't. If you asked for almost anything else, I'd say yes. But I can't say yes to this, Emma. I can't let you go."

"You lied to me!" Emma was struggling. "You said you didn't call them!

"I didn't call them," said Cal.

Emma stopped struggling. "Really? Then how…" Her face changed. "It was Ethan, wasn't it?" She began to cry. "How could you, Cal? How could you trick me?"

"I didn't want to." Cal was fighting tears. "I just wanted you to be safe. I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"It's a bit late for that," said Emma.

"I know," said Cal. A tear escaped. "I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you. I know what your mum did to you and your dad."

Emma went completely still. "How could you know that? No-one knows that. No-one believes me."

"Your dad's reported her to the police," said Cal.

"That can't be true!" said Emma. "How can you know that anyway?"

Cal wanted to hold her properly. She didn't need to be restrained. She needed to be hugged. But he couldn't take the risk. "I'm so sorry, Emma. Your dad was admitted to hospital and Ethan treated him."

"Is he… is he…"

"He's alive," said Cal, but he knew as he said it that this might not be true. "He's not in a good way, but he's alive and he was able to make a report. He needs you, Emma. You need each other. Come back to the hospital now and I'm sure you'll be able to see him."

Emma looked at him fearfully. "Is this a trick?"

"Definitely not," said Cal. "Ethan and I would never play a trick like that and it wouldn't be allowed. Please come with me, Emma. I know it's scary, but I'll be there if you want me to be."

There was a long pause, then Emma nodded. "Okay, Cal. I'll go with you."

Cal helped her to her feet without letting go of her. He wasn't going to let go of her anytime soon. He could trust Emma with anything except her own life.

They walked towards the skylight. He felt Emma leaning against him, then she fell forwards. Cal caught her, holding her tightly in his arms.

Her eyes were closed.

"Emma, can you hear me?" said Cal desperately.

She might have fainted. She'd had a terrible shock; she was probably in pain; and it seemed likely that she'd been experiencing high levels of anxiety for some time. She could easily have fainted.

But Cal was afraid.

He picked Emma up in his arms and carried her to the skylight. "Ethan?"

"I'm here. Dixie and Iain are on their way up."

"Emma's… fainted." Cal's voice was shaking. "I'm going to lower her through the skylight. Can you take her from me?"

"Of course," said Ethan.

Cal opened the skylight as far as it would go and looked down. He could see Ethan, standing underneath the skylight with his face upturned. Cal knelt down, still holding Emma. "Be careful with her. Please."

"Of course I will," said Ethan.

Cal sat down on the edge of the skylight with Emma in his arms. Slowly, he turned her so her legs were hanging downwards.

"I've got her," said Ethan. "You can let go now."

Cal was afraid of letting go of her, but he knew he had to. He watched in agony as Ethan gently laid Emma down on her back and opened her airway and checked for her breathing and pulse. "She's breathing, Cal." Ethan straightened up.

"Can I come down now?" Cal asked in a trembling voice.

"I'll help you," said Ethan. "You'll hurt your ankle if you drop down. How long has Emma been unconscious?"

"Not long." Cal tried to think. "Not more than half a minute."

"Okay. Come on, Cal. I'll catch you."

Cal's ankle felt fine and he wasn't at all sure Ethan wouldn't drop him, but he didn't want to waste time arguing. He lowered himself through the skylight and felt Ethan wrapping his arms around his legs. As he'd expected, his weight was too much for the smaller man, but it did break his fall a little bit.

"Sorry," said Ethan. "Not much of a safety net, am I? Are you okay?"

Pain was shooting through Cal's ankle, but he didn't care. He pushed Ethan aside and threw himself down beside Emma just as Dixie and Iain reached the top of the stairs. They didn't bother to greet Cal and Ethan: they just knelt beside Emma and asked what had happened.

"She is breathing, but it's very shallow and her pulse is weak but regular," reported Ethan. "We haven't given her any treatment."

"I think she's taken an overdose," said Cal, trying to keep his voice calm. "She was attempting suicide by a different method when we found her and she does have access to medications."

"Right, we need to get her into the ambulance," said Dixie. "Then we'll measure her vital signs and you can give us any further details. Does she live around here? It would help if we knew what she might have taken."

"Aspirin," said Cal.

Ethan spoke quickly. "Cal means she's allergic to aspirin. We don't know that's what she's taken. I'll go down to the flat and see if I can find anything. She's taking benzodiazepine for depression: I'm not sure of the dosage. Cal is Emma's boyfriend so he might be able to tell you." He squeezed Cal's arm and spoke softly to him. "I won't be long. Try to keep calm. I know it's terrifying, but you can deal with this. I know you can."


	26. Chapter 26

**ETWentHome**, thank you for the review. I don't think anyone's ever described something of mine as cool before! I'm really happy you're enjoying it.

**20BlueRoses**, thank you for the review! Cal has mostly been a very good boyfriend. Let's hope he'll have the chance to continue in that role...

**Tanith Panic**, I really wanted to put some bits where Cal looks out for Ethan - so I'm really happy you picked up on that! Thank you for the review.

**Tato Potato**, Cal is so lovely when he's caring - I enjoy writing him like that and I'm thrilled you enjoy reading it. Thank you for the review!

* * *

As Cal watched Ethan disappear down the stairs, he felt panic rise inside him. He wasn't sure if he could cope with anything if his brother wasn't there. He said nothing as Dixie and Iain agreed on the best way of transporting Emma down the stairs. He just stood, staring at Emma and felt himself trembling all over. He was so glad Emma had been able to explain everything and even more glad that he'd been able to stop her from jumping, but he knew that despite all his efforts he could still lose her and he didn't think he could bear it.

"Cal?" said Dixie.

Cal realised this wasn't the first time she'd tried to get his attention. "Sorry, I was..." He stopped, unsure how to put it into words.

"It's all right, lovely. We understand," said Dixie. "We were just wondering if you could go down the stairs ahead of us and warn anyone who's on their way up."

Cal knew this wasn't strictly necessary; that Dixie was just giving him something to focus on so he'd be less likely to fall apart, but he realised that ir probably would help the paramedics. It also comforted him to know he'd have a chance of catching her if Dixie and Iain dropped her down the stairs, but this seemed very unlikely.

As it turned out, it was Cal who nearly pitched down the stairs following a bout of dizziness. He clung to the banisters, his eyes closed, but then heard Dixie's firm voice.

"Are you feeling faint, Cal? Sit down for a minute."

"But I'll be in your way!" said Cal.

"It's okay, Cal. We'll can past you if we have to," said Dixie. "Go on, lovely. Sit down. It's fine."

"No, I'm okay." Cal opened his eyes to find his vision had cleared. He let go of the banister, then decided he should keep hold of it just in case. "I'm fine now." He continued down the stairs without further incident.

Once they were finally down the stairs, Emma was carried into the ambulance. Iain asked Cal to stand outside the ambulance and give him as much information about Emma as possible while Dixie treated her.

Cal told Iain what he knew of Emma's medical history, which was quite a lot. He also did his best to estimate how long ago she'd taken the overdose. "I was actually with Emma a short while ago," he said. "She might have taken the overdose before then, but I didn't see any signs of it and she… she had less reason to take it then. It's more likely that she took if afterwards."

"Why do you think that?" asked Iain in a neutral, non-judgmental tone.

Cal hesitated, not wanting to admit to what he'd done, but he knew he needed to do everything he could to help Emma. "We had an argument. I'd jumped to lots of incorrect conclusions and I confronted Emma. She was very upset. She tried to defend herself, but I wouldn't listen." Cal's voice trembled. "It's all my fault."

"Now don't go blaming yourself," said Iain. "You weren't to know what she would do. Do you know at approximately what time you left Emma?"

Cal knew what time it had been when he'd left the ED. He also knew how long it usually took him to drive from the hospital to the flat at that time of day, so he was able to give Iain a close estimate.

He was relieved when Ethan arrived with Emma's anti-depressants and samples of the other medications they had in the flat. "Emma's tablets were on the kitchen table. The box was open. So we can be almost sure she took those, but here are the other possibilities." He handed the samples to Iain and the box of tablets to Cal. "Do you know how many approximately she'd have taken?

Cal looked into the box and felt sick. He put his hand over his mouth and felt Ethan's arm around his waist.

"Cal? Are you okay?"

Cal took a couple of deep breaths and tried to speak calmly. "I'm fine. I just… it looks like she's taken a lot. I saw her taking her tablets last night and the box was almost full."

Ethan's expression darkened with concern. "Are you sure?"

"Completely sure," sighed Cal. "And there could have been other symptoms as well. Emma didn't complain of blurred vision, but she didn't recognise me and Ethan when we got out of the car, even though she was looking down into the car park. Though that's just conjecture, of course; it's possible her eyes were blurred with tears or she was too upset to make sense of what she was seeing. She was also walking a bit strangely when she came towards me, but again, her emotional state could explain that."

"Thanks, Cal. Thanks, Ethan. That's a great help," said Iain.

But while Cal knew the information he'd given was helpful, it provided little consolation. They were such a long way from saving Emma's life.

They heard Dixie calling them from inside the ambulance. "Okay, we're ready to go. Would you like to ride in the ambulance, Cal?"

Cal opened his mouth to say yes, but instead found himself asking if Ethan could come with them.

"Of course. Ethan's only a little one," said Dixie. "I'm sure we can squeeze you both in."

* * *

The journey in the ambulance was taking such a long time, or so it seemed to Cal. Ethan sat close to his brother and did his best to keep him calm as they watched Iain treating Emma. She hadn't regained consciousness and Cal could tell from the monitors that her heartbeat was now irregular and her blood pressure had dropped. She looked so small and pale and just different, and whatever anyone said, he knew it was all his fault.

"Cal, you know an overdose of benzodiazepine rarely results in death," said Ethan gently.

Cal nodded. He knew this as well as Ethan, but it was difficult to believe it when he was the terrified next-of-kin and not the doctor.

"Everyone will do their best for her," said Ethan.

"I know they will," said Cal. He looked helplessly at Ethan. "It's all my fault, Ethan. I accused her and I got it wrong. We should have guessed it really. She recognised her own symptoms in Georgia and she thought Andrea was allergic to ibuprofen because the tablets we gave her made her sick."

"I'm sure that's not something anyone could have guessed," said Ethan. "But it makes sense. Patients are always diagnosing themselves and each other."

"I thought I'd saved her," said Cal, his voice full of anguish as he looked at Emma again. "I'd got her away from the edge. We were walking back to the skylight. But then she just..."

Ethan's voice was firm"You did save her, Cal. No matter what happens, you got her away from the edge before she lost consciousness. If you hadn't done that, we probably couldn't have done anything for her. But there are things we can do for her now and the only reason she's in a position to receive the medical treatment she needs is because of you."

"That won't mean anything if she…" Cal couldn't finish the sentence.

"I know," said Ethan, and put his arm around Cal.

Cal's eyes filled. "And she wouldn't even have been up there if it wasn't for me. If I hadn't gone and said those things to her…"

"…it could have happened anyway," said Ethan. "She's very depressed, Cal. She's wanted to die for a long time. The important thing is that we were able to get to her in time – and that's because of you. If you hadn't given Emma your phone number and won her trust, which I'm sure not many people could have done, she would have been all on her own. She's got you and that means she's got a chance. A very good chance."

Cal blinked his tears away. There were times when Ethan annoyed him, but he was glad he was here now.

Ethan rubbed Cal's shoulder. "Whatever happens, Cal, you're not going through this on your own. You've got me."

* * *

When they arrived in the hospital, Zoe was waiting to take Emma to Resus. She looked surprised to see Cal and Ethan helping with the stretcher, but asked no questions, instead listening to Dixie's report, which included the information that Cal was Emma's boyfriend and he'd stopped her from jumping from the roof of the building – information that wasn't important in terms of her treatment, but that made it clear they were almost certainly not dealing with an accidental overdose.

"Cal, it's probably best if you go and wait in the staff room," said Zoe, her voice gentle. "Ethan, go with him, please, and check him over. We'll bring you news as soon as we can." Her hand left the stretcher for a moment to squeeze Cal's arm.

"No, I want to treat her," said Cal desperately as he followed the stretcher. He was limping and he knew he'd made the damage to his ankle worse when he'd jumped down from the skylight, but he didn't care. "Emma doesn't like strange people. She needs me to be there."

Zoe looked sympathetic. "Cal, you know you can't treat your girlfriend, but you and Ethan can come with us as long as you stay quiet and don't try to help."

"But-"

"I'm sorry, Cal, but that's how it's got to be," said Zoe. "We'll do our best for Emma. I promise. And you know her chances are good."

Cal knew she was right, but that didn't mean he liked it. He felt powerless as Emma was lifted onto a bed and attached to a monitor. An IV line was placed in her arm and atropine was administered.

"We need to intubate," said Zoe.

Cal had seen intubation before; he'd done it himself on numerous occasions, but this was Emma and he felt himself trembling from head to foot.

Ethan put his arm around him. "Cal, try to breathe, all right?"

Cal did as he was told. Someone – he wasn't sure who – brought them a couple of chairs and they sat down. He heard the words 'gastric lavage' and grabbed at Ethan's hand in a panic. "They can't give her a gastric lavage. Not with benzodiazepine!"

"They're not going to give Emma a gastric lavage," said Ethan reassuringly.

"But they said-"

"They did mention it, but all they said is that it isn't a possibility with this type of drug," said Ethan.

Cal clutched at his head. "I didn't know they said that. I just heard the words…"

"I know," said Ethan supportively. "It's all right. It's difficult to think clearly when you're this worried."

Cal wanted to get up and pace the room, but his head was spinning and wasn't sure he could stand up. "I should be there. I should be helping them."

"They can do it, Cal," said Ethan. His voice was firm. "They know what they're doing. Zoe's done this hundreds of times."

Cal leaned forward, trying to see what they were doing, but there were too many people. He stood up without realising he was going to do it. A moment later, Ethan stepped into his path, his hands on Cal's arms.

"Come back and sit down, Cal. You know they won't let you stay if you try to interfere."

"I'm not interfering!" said Cal. "I'm helping!"

"The best way you can help Emma is to stay as calm as you can now and be there for her when she needs you," said Ethan.

Cal struggled, but his safety net stayed firm. "I would be calm if I was helping her."

"Perhaps so, but we can't take the risk," said Ethan. "Emma needs to be treated by calm doctors. She is being treated by calm doctors. At this stage, there's nothing you can do that Zoe can't."

Cal struggled for a moment, but then Ethan's words registered. There was nothing he could do. Nothing at all. Even if another doctor was needed, they wouldn't ask Cal. He was useless, despite all his medical training. The only thing he could do for Emma was to remain close by and in order to do that, he had to sit quietly and wait while his girlfriend might be dying. He began to tremble. "I can't stay here, Ethan. I can't."

"That's okay. We don't have to stay" said Ethan soothingly.

"I know I should stay, Ethan," said Cal, his words almost a moan. "But I can't. I can't do it. It was all my fault."

"It wasn't your fault," said Ethan gently. "It wasn't your fault at all. But we can go if that's what you want."

He turned Cal around and kept his arm around him as they walked out of Resus. Then Cal stopped, his whole body shaking. "I can't, Ethan. I can't." When Ethan let go of him and turned to face him, Cal felt his legs giving way. He sat down on the floor and stared helplessly up at Ethan. He knew that if anyone came along, he would be asked to move, but that didn't seem important. "What am I doing, Ethan? I don't know what to do. And I love her."

Ethan sat on the floor beside him and put his arms around Cal. "Come on, Cal. Come here."

Cal didn't resist as Ethan hugged him, holding Cal's head against his shoulder and letting him cry. Cal's sobs were harsh and painful, but it was easier than fighting his feelings. Ethan's hand moved in soothing circles on his back and his voice was soft as he told Cal that Emma was in good hands. Even when Cal's tears had finally stopped, Ethan didn't let go of him.


	27. Chapter 27

**Teeloganroryflan**, thank you very much for your review. I'm really happy you like the story.

**ETWentHome**, I'm glad you liked Ethan comforting Cal - it was nice to be able to write that after Ethan's recent behaviour towards Cal! Thank you for the review.

**CBloom2**, we all like a bit of lovely Ethan! Even Cal, I'm sure. Thank you for the review.

**Sunsetstargazer**, I don't think you have reviewed this story before, but I'm really happy you've been reading and enjoying it! Thank you so much for your lovely review and I hope you'll continue to read.

**20BlueRoses**, thank you for your review. Cal's emotions are always complicated so it's really good to know I managed to display them. I thought this was one of the times when Cal really needed a safety net!

* * *

"Cal?"

Cal froze at the sound of Zoe's voice. He started to shake and held more tightly to Ethan. He could guess what Zoe was about to say. "Don't tell me. Please don't tell me," he begged. He felt Ethan rubbing his back and trying to soothe him, but it didn't work this time.

Zoe knelt down on the floor beside them. "Cal, Emma's going to be okay. The tablets are out of her system and she's breathing normally."

"What?" said Cal, unable to take it in at first.

"Emma's okay," said Zoe gently. "She's a bit groggy and obviously we're concerned about her psychological state, but she's okay apart from that. There is a nurse in there with her – we can't leave her alone because of the suicide risk – but she'll give you some space so you can talk to Emma."

Cal was having trouble speaking so he grabbed onto Zoe's hand instead. "Thank you."

He wanted to say more, but Zoe seemed to understand. She smiled and squeezed his hand.

* * *

Ethan walked with Cal to Emma's bed but then took a step back as Cal looked down at Emma. She looked so small and thin and pale. Her eyes were open, but they showed no recognition. She didn't seem aware that Cal was there at all.

Cal felt a lump in his throat. "I love you, Emma," he said, barely able to force the words out. "I'm sorry. I know this is my fault. If you don't want anything more to do with me, I can't blame you. But I love you and I'll always be here if you need me."

Emma didn't answer. Cal's vision blurred. He put his hand over his mouth and tried to fight back sobs.

He felt Ethan's hand on his back. "She's asleep, Cal."

"Asleep?" Cal wiped his tears away so he could see her.

"Yes: asleep. She's exhausted." Ethan massaged Cal's back. "And so are you. We'll wait till Zoe gets back, then I'll get you something to drink and have a look at your ankle."

Cal felt confused for a moment before realising his ankle was hurting quite a lot. But it didn't seem important. "I want to stay with Emma."

"Well… we'll wait till Zoe gets back and discuss it with her," said Ethan.

Cal just nodded. He looked down at Emma. He knew she probably wouldn't hear him so he'd have to say it again when she woke up, but he still wanted to tell her. "Emma, it's going to be all right. Your mum won't get away with this. And you're not on your own. You've got your dad and you've got me."

"And me," added Ethan, and received look of gratitude from Cal.

"I'll do whatever it takes to help you get through this," promised Cal. "I love you." He bent and kissed her forehead, then he held her hand in his and stroked it. "And I'm looking forward to meeting your dad. You'll probably want to spend a lot of time with him before I meet him, but that's fine. I'll meet him when you decide it's time. And I'll come and see you every day and take you out places when you're ready. And we can talk about the future because I hope we're going to have one, but I'm not going to rush you. You've been through so much. I know you need time to recover."

He looked up as Zoe re-entered. "Is Emma awake?" she asked.

Cal shook his head. "She was at first, but then she went to sleep. She didn't say anything."

"She'll talk to you later, I'm sure," said Zoe comfortingly. "I just went to see her dad and he's doing much better. Now, Cal, there's not much you can do for Emma now, so why don't you let Ethan have a look at your ankle? I'm sure it's the last thing on your mind, but if you're going to look after Emma, we'll need to look after you."

Cal glanced at Emma again. "Can't Ethan treat me in here?"

"I think it's best if you give yourself a bit of a break," said Zoe. "But I'll see if I can clear the nearest cubicle for you so you won't be far away. Emma won't be alone and we'll let you know if anything happens."

* * *

Ethan was so worried about Cal's ankle, he wanted to send him for a scan. Cal argued as he wanted to stay near to Emma, but he eventually agreed on condition that Ethan stayed in the cubicle in case there was any news. He hopped back to Ethan on crutches which he was determined not to use when he went to see Emma. He didn't want to worry her.

To Cal's relief, there was no bad news about either Emma or her father. "But her mother's in custody," said Ethan. "I'm not sure exactly what will happen, but the police will ensure she's kept away from Emma and her dad."

"But what if the police still don't believe Emma and they let her mum go?" said Cal anxiously. "Emma's got lots of stuff on her profile about compulsive lying. Maybe there's some truth in that; I don't know. But it could count against her."

He could tell Ethan was worried too, but he tried to reassure Cal. "It'll be easier now she's got her dad's support. Part of the reason why she wasn't believed is because her dad always took her mum's side. He was too scared to do anything else."

"But how could he not stand up to her?" said Cal. "How could he let her behave like that towards her daughter?"

"Probably a mixture of fear and love," said Ethan. "The important thing is that he's supporting Emma now."

* * *

The following day, Cal was sitting in the staff room with his ankle elevated when Zoe came in. "Cal, I just wanted to let you know Emma's awake, but she wants to go and see her dad. She's had a psych assessment and we've assessed her physically and we agree she's ready."

"Can I go with her?" said Cal at once.

Zoe smiled: the question had clearly come as no surprise. "I'm not sure this would be a good time for you to meet Emma's dad – they'll have a lot to talk about - but we've decided she should go in a wheelchair and she's still quite weak, so she does need someone to push her wheelchair to his room. As long as Ethan's satisfied you can cope with that – physically, I mean - it makes sense for you to do it as you're not working."

Ethan arrived just as she finished speaking. He was working in cubicles but checking on Cal frequently. Cal would have found it annoying in other circumstances, but as things were, he was grateful to have someone to calm him down. When he told Ethan he wanted to take Emma to see her father, Ethan decided that would probably be all right. "But please sit down while you're waiting for Emma. She might be quite a long time."

Cal rolled his eyes more out of habit than anything else, but he agreed to do as he was told on condition he was allowed to leave his crutches in the staff room. "I won't be able to use them when I'm pushing the wheelchair anyway and I don't want Emma to know I've made my injury worse. She might think it was her fault."

"You can leave the crutches here if you hold onto my arm," said Ethan.

"I don't know about that," said Cal. "I don't want Emma thinking we're gay again."

Ethan smiled. "I think she's more than well aware you're not."

Cal made no further arguments and was actually very glad of Ethan's support. His ankle was more painful than it had been after the accident, but although there were things he definitely wished he could undo or unsay, he didn't regret climbing onto the roof to help Emma and he felt the pain in his ankle was well worth it.

When they reached Emma's room, Cal let go of Ethan and limped inside. He hugged her carefully and kissed her cheek. "How are you, Emma?" he asked anxiously. She looked pale and tired, but not as much as yesterday.

"I'm okay," said Emma quietly.

"That's good," said Cal. He found he was speaking softly too. "How do you feel about going to see your dad?"

"I don't know," said Emma with a sigh. "I really want to, but…"

Cal nodded understandingly. "It's bound to feel a bit weird. Your relationship's changed. You're on the same side now and you kind of have to get to know each other again. It will probably feel really strange at first, but give it time."

Emma was silent for a while, her eyes downcast.

"Is there something wrong, baby?"

"I…" Emma stopped.

"Take your time, Emma. We don't have to go till you're ready."

Emma's voice was little more than a whisper. "What if I can't forgive him?"

"That might take time too," said Cal. "He hurt you a lot, Emma. I'm sure he didn't want to hurt you. He was just scared of your mum and in love with her too. But just because you can understand his motivations, that doesn't change all the pain he caused and it doesn't mean you have to forgive him straight away. Or even at all. All you have to do is talk to him and listen to him – and you don't even have to do that if you're not ready. You don't need to look beyond that."

Emma thought about this for a moment. Then her eyes met Cal's. "Thank you, Cal."

"You're welcome, beautiful." Cal kissed her on the cheek. "If you want to go and see him now, I can take you in the wheelchair."

Emma didn't look as happy as he was hoping, but Cal could understand that.

"It's okay. I won't interfere in any way. I'd love to meet your dad, but it's too soon. You've got a lot to talk about. I'll meet him when you're ready."

"Thank you," said Emma. "You're very understanding."

"Ethan might disagree with that," said Cal with the ghost of a smile, "but I'm glad you think so." There was already a wheelchair in the room so Cal wheeled it over to the bed and helped Emma into it. "Ready?"

"Not really," said Emma with a sigh. "But I'm ready to try."

"That's all anyone can ask of you," said Cal.

* * *

When they arrived at Emma's dad's room, Cal offered to go in with her, but he wasn't surprised when Emma said no. "That's fine as long as you're okay to walk," he said. "You won't be able to operate the wheelchair yourself because of your wrist." Cal helped her out of the wheelchair and kept his arm around her. "Okay? You don't feel dizzy or anything?"

"I don't think so," said Emma. "Just a bit nervous."

"That's understandable," said Cal. "Take your time; I'll be here for as long as it takes." He kissed her and sat down on a chair to wait. Time passed and it was impossible not to worry, but Cal knew there was nothing he could do. Ethan came up with some tea and sat with him for a while. He didn't say much, but Cal was glad he was there.

"I'd better get back to work," Ethan said after fifteen minutes or so had passed. "But if you need me, come and find me. All right?"

Cal nodded. He didn't feel able to say much, but he appreciated Ethan's words and hoped his brother knew that. "Thanks, Ethan. I'm… I'm glad you came."

"Not a problem, Cal." Ethan smiled at him and left.

Emma came out not long after Ethan had gone. She was quiet and tearstained, but she was smiling. "I think it's going to be okay, Cal," was all she said, but it was enough. Cal hugged her and wheeled her back to her room.

* * *

Ethan handed Cal a cup of tea and sat opposite him. "Caleb, there's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

"There are always things I won't tell you," said Cal.

"Yes, I know. And for the most part, I'm glad. There are things about you I definitely don't want to know." Ethan leaned forward as though trying to see Cal more clearly. "But there is something, isn't there? Something about Emma?"

Ethan's shift was over, and he and Zoe between them had persuaded Cal to go home and sleep. He'd wanted to stay with Emma, but Zoe didn't think it was a good idea and Cal couldn't deny that he was exhausted.

"There is something," admitted Cal, looking down into his tea.

"You don't have to tell me," said Ethan. "And even if you do, I might not be able to help. But if you do want to tell me, I'm always here."

Cal said nothing for a while and Ethan didn't press him. He seemed to know Cal was thinking. Wondering if he should tell him. Wondering how to put it into words.

At last, Cal managed to speak. "There was something Emma said."

"About what?" said Ethan, when Cal didn't continue.

"About forgiveness," said Cal.

"About forgiving her dad?"

Cal nodded. "We were talking about her dad. But she could have meant… me."

"Emma's dad spent the whole of her life telling people she was a liar," said Ethan. "That is a lot to forgive. But you haven't done anything like that."

"But I did call her a liar," said Cal, his voice beginning to shake. He didn't want to be a baby, but it had been such a long, tiring and frightening day. "And you can't say it didn't have an effect. She took an overdose, then she went up onto the roof and nearly jumped off. She wanted to die, Ethan. Because of me."

Ethan stared at him, his mouth slightly open. Then he was at Cal's side. He took Cal's cup of tea from him and hugged him. "It wasn't because of you, Cal. So much had happened to her and we can't be completely certain she took the overdose after she'd spoken to you."

"No, it was because of me," said Cal helplessly. "Even if she did take it before, it was because of me. Because I wasn't doing enough to help."

Ethan held him more tightly, but his voice was trembling too now. "No, Cal. It wasn't because of that. You mustn't think that. I know you were doing everything you could. No-one could ask more. Please don't think it was your fault."

"What else am I going to think?" said Cal. "At the very least, I was the last straw."

"But the last straw is often the least important one," said Ethan. "It's often a very small thing that pushes someone over the edge."

Cal lowered his head. He'd thought he was going to cry, but now he was deathly calm. "But it wasn't a small thing, Ethan. I accused her of killing her friends. She loved me and I told her I thought she was capable of murder. It wasn't a small thing at all."


	28. Chapter 28

**ETWentHome**, thank you for your review. Yes, poor Cal is always fretting! It's a good thing he's got Ethan, really.

**Tanith Panic**, thank you for both your reviews - I'm grateful for them all, no matter when they're written. I love writing about the brothers' relationship so it really means a lot that you like the way I write it.

**Tato Potato**, thank you for your review. I'm so happy you're enjoying the story - and I'm also really happy that you don't blame Cal!

_Only one more chapter to go after this one (unless I decide to split it into two, but I probably won't). I'll say this again when I post the last chapter, but thank you for all your support and encouragement._

* * *

Cal leaned over the bed and gave Emma a kiss. "Hey, beautiful. How are you feeling today?"

He kissed her again, painfully aware that Emma wasn't kissing him back.

"Okay," said Emma. "Tired. But I'm looking forward to seeing my dad again today."

"How is he?" asked Cal.

"He's doing really well," said Emma. Her eyes shone as she spoke. "He's being so brave. About the injuries. About my mum. He feels guilty for not supporting me, but I've told him it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the future."

Cal knew it wasn't that simple. The effects of the past were often part of the future. But he was glad to hear Emma sounding so positive. Only two days had passed since her reunion with her father, but the two of them seemed to be getting on really well – though Cal had only met him briefly. "You're right," he said. "And I'm sure your future will be happy. You're safe now and you have two people who love you."

Emma fiddled with the edge of her plaster cast.

"I'm not saying it's going to be easy," said Cal. "But you're not on your own. If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here. And I love you."

"Thank you," said Emma.

* * *

Ethan was waiting for Cal in the staff room. He'd banned him from driving until his ankle was better, but Cal knew that wasn't the only reason why he was there. He looked up as Cal entered and some of Cal's emotions must have shown on his face; Ethan's own expression showed concern as he went over to his brother. "Are you all right, Cal?"

"Yes, I'm fine," said Cal. He didn't bother to try to sound convincing.

"Where's Emma?" said Ethan. "Isn't she coming home with us?"

Cal shook his head. "They want to keep her under observation for a few more days and I do think that's sensible. She made two suicide attempts so someone needs to be with her." His frustration spilled over. "But why not me? Zoe was encouraging me to take some time off. So why can't I spend that time looking after Emma?"

"Zoe wanted you to take a day off so you could have a break from the stress," said Ethan. "It's going to be very stressful looking after a patient who's a suicide risk. Especially when she's your girlfriend. It's better to let the professionals handle it, Cal."

"_I'm_ a professional!" said Cal.

"Of course you are, but you're also Emma's boyfriend," said Ethan.

"But I can deal with it!" said Cal. "I dealt with it before. I phoned for an ambulance. I got her away from the edge of the building. I got her down through the skylight safely."

Ethan looked a bit annoyed, though he seemed to be trying to suppress it. "_I_ phoned the ambulance, Caleb. But you did do the rest. You did the most important things and you did them well, but it was a strain on you. It's best if Emma stays here and you get some time to yourself, but I'm sure it won't be for long." He patted Cal awkwardly on the back. "Go on. Go and get your things and we'll go home."

Cal went to fetch his bag from his locker. As all he'd done today was a bit of paperwork, he didn't need to get changed. He and Ethan had an argument about who would carry his bag, which Cal won, but he still hadn't worked out the best way of managing his bag and his crutches at the same time and soon conceded defeat.

"I'm sure you'll be able to get rid of the crutches soon," said Ethan as he helped Cal into the car and handed him the offending items, along with his bag.

Cal knew Ethan was just trying to make him feel better.

It wasn't Ethan's fault it didn't work.

* * *

Ethan gave Cal several suspicious looks both on the way home and during dinner, but it wasn't until later, when Ethan had tried and failed to persuade Cal to get an early night, that he asked Cal what was wrong.

"What do you think's wrong?" said Cal. "My girlfriend tried to kill herself because of me!"

Ethan gave him a look of compassion and moved his chair closer to the sofa where Cal was lying, his bad foot elevated on a cushion. "That wasn't the reason, Cal. I'm sure it wasn't. She still loves you, doesn't she?"

Cal looked away from him and started picking at the fabric of the sofa. "I don't know."

"But you're still together," said Ethan. He spoke with certainty, but when Cal didn't answer, his voice changed. "Aren't you?"

Cal shrugged.

"But you were kissing her," said Ethan, clearly confused. He gave a slight intake of breath and placed his hand on Cal's arm. "Cal, has something happened?"

"No," said Cal, still not looking at Ethan. "But it's… different."

"In what way?" said Ethan.

"She doesn't seem… happy," said Cal. "I know it might just be because she's tired and she's been through so much and she's worried about her dad. But when I hug her and kiss her, she's kind of… frozen."

Ethan considered this for a moment, then spoke reassuringly. "Emma is depressed, Cal. It can be difficult to show your feelings when you're depressed. They kind of get locked inside you. But that doesn't mean the feelings aren't there."

"Yes, I get all that," Cal said with a touch of impatience. "And it's okay. I said we'd take it at her pace and I meant it. But I can't help worrying, Ethan. Maybe she's just not that into me anymore."

"Do you have any reason to think that, apart from her lack of physical reaction?" said Ethan.

Cal sighed. "She hasn't told me she loves me. She hasn't really said much to me at all. I do most of the talking."

"She is depressed, Cal," Ethan said gently.

"Or maybe she doesn't want to talk to me after what I did."

Ethan looked confused. "You saved her life, Cal."

"Only after I'd made her want to end it accusing her of causing the accident and trying to kill her friends." Cal looked helplessly at Ethan. "How can she love me when I'm capable of thinking that?"

"But Emma understands, doesn't she?" said Ethan. "I thought you discussed all that. There was a lot of evidence against her. A lot of things that didn't seem to make sense."

"I still thought it though," said Cal miserably. "What am I going to do, Ethan?"

Ethan looked like he wasn't sure what to say. "I'm not sure how far you should trust my relationship advice."

Cal gave a rather forced smile. "As my relationship experience consists mainly of getting girls into bed and getting conned, I'm not sure I'm any better off than you."

"But you do have a girlfriend," Ethan reminded him. "Who hasn't conned you and, as far as I know, has only been in your bed in the literal sense. I don't think you should give up on her yet."

"No. No, I wasn't thinking about giving up on her," said Cal at once. His voice caught slightly as he continued: "Whatever she thinks of me, I still love her."

Ethan lowered his eyes, as though he was trying to give his brother a moment to control himself. But then he sat up suddenly, a light in his eyes. "Have you thought that perhaps Emma's reticence might be because she doubts your feelings?"

Cal stared at him, not bothering to disguise his hurt. "How could Emma doubt my feelings?"

"Have you told her you love her lately?" asked Ethan.

"Yes, of course!" said Cal. He paused, then looked away. "Not as often as I used to."

"Do you know why?" said Ethan. His voice was gentle.

Cal nodded. He didn't want to tell Ethan. It was embarrassing. But Ethan's eyes were so sympathetic, Cal found himself answering. "Because I'm scared."

Ethan nodded understandingly. "You're scared she might tell you she doesn't feel the same way anymore."

"Her life is different now," said Cal. "I'm not the only person in her life anymore. She's got her dad."

He looked away and felt Ethan's hand on his arm. "Cal, most people need more than one person in their life. Just because Emma has her father back, it doesn't mean she doesn't need a boyfriend anymore. I'm sure there's space in her life for both of you."

Cal looked at him in sudden hope. "Do you think she does still love me?"

"I can't read Emma's mind," said Ethan. "I'm just saying that Ryan isn't a replacement for you. And if she does seem to be withdrawing, there are several possible reasons for that."

"So I should tell her I love her?" said Cal.

"If you still do love her, then yes," said Ethan.

Cal couldn't believe he was even questioning it. "Of course I still love her! I never stopped. Even when I believed she might have engineered the accident, I still loved her."

"Then make sure she knows that," said Ethan.

* * *

Telling Emma he loved her was simple in theory, but Cal knew it might not be enough. He'd doubted her and hurt her. Would words really be enough to convince her that he loved and needed her? Cal wasn't at all sure.

It was said that actions spoke louder than words so Cal tried to think of some actions to prove that he loved her. He could hug and kiss her, but he'd done that to so many girls and only really loved two of them. He could try doing everything he could to make her comfortable, but that was difficult when all the hospital staff were trying to do that for her anyway. Cal couldn't cook her a meal or give her a massage (though the massage was another thing he'd done for a number of girls he hadn't cared about). He could buy her presents, but he didn't have much money and there weren't many presents that she could really use in hospital.

And then it came to him.

He could buy her jewellery. That was romantic.

It was also expensive, but maybe Ethan wouldn't mind lending him some money. These were exceptional circumstances.

Cal did some research online and then went to find his brother, who was lying in bed, reading. "Ethan?"

Ethan sighed slightly and put his book down. "You want something, don't you, Caleb."

Cal was slightly spooked. "How do you know that?"

"Because I know _you_!" said Ethan. "You want something and you're not convinced I'll say yes." He smiled. "But ask away. I am inclined to be sympathetic towards you at the moment so you never know."

Cal shuffled his feet and looked down at the floor. "I want to buy Emma some jewellery to help reassure her that I mean it when I tell her I love her, but I don't have very much money at the moment. I was wondering if you might be able to lend me some?" He lifted his head and peeped at Ethan, trying to gauge his likely reaction.

"How much would you like?" said Ethan.

Cal was so shocked, he couldn't speak for a moment or two. "You're seriously going to lend me more money?"

"I'm seriously _considering_ it," said Ethan. "That's all. But I can't make a decision until I know how much."

"About… £1000?" said Cal nervously.

Ethan flung his hands in the air in disbelief. "£1000? What are you thinking of buying her? A diamond ring?"

Cal couldn't look him in the face.

"Oh, Caleb." Ethan's voice was despairing. "Not again."

"At least I was going to buy it this time!" Cal said defensively.

He looked up to see Ethan's head was in his hands. "There is that, I suppose," said Ethan faintly. "But Caleb, you hardly know the girl. I'll gladly give you £100 to buy her a really nice necklace if you really think that's going to make both of you happy. But you've hardly known her any time at all and she's going through so many changes. You're not even sure she likes you!" Ethan sighed and looked up at Cal. "Caleb, take my advice – just this once – and don't buy an engagement ring."

"Well, I can't if you don't give me the money, can I?"

Ethan looked like he was still trying to get his head around it. "You seriously thought I'd lend you £1000?"

"No, but I hoped we might compromise on £500," said Cal. Defensively, he added: "You can get a very nice ring for £500. But it's okay. If you don't lend me the money, I'll get the bank to lend it to me instead."

Ethan shook his head. "I can't see the bank agreeing to give you another loan."

Cal shrugged. "They don't need to agree. I just need them not to decline the transaction."

"Caleb!" Ethan almost shouted. "You can't do that. You're in enough debt already and they're going to charge you interest and… just don't do it. Please."

Cal looked at him helplessly. "How else am I going to show her I love her?"

Ethan looked ready to scream. "Caleb, showing someone you love them isn't about spending as much money as possible. Look, I'll lend you £100 – or let's say £150 - and you can find something really nice that you think will suit her. A small gesture can be far more meaningful."

"Well, you'd know, wouldn't you?" said Cal. "With all the experience you've had!" He stood up and stalked out of the room. "Thanks for nothing, little brother. Thanks for nothing."


	29. Chapter 29

**Tato Potato**, thank you for your review. Cal needs to listen to you if he won't listen to Ethan - Cal's always rushing into things without thinking! I hope you enjoy the last chapter.

**ETWentHome**, yes, only one more chapter! I just hope you enjoy it. Asking for that much money was a long shot, but I think that might be typical Cal? He seems able to convince himself that the most outrageous things are acceptable. Thank you for your review!

**Tanith Panic**, I'm sure Emma would love a massage, but Cal doesn't always know what women want - much as he'd like to believe he does - and Ethan isn't quite as completely cluless as both brothers think! Thank you for the review and I really hope you like the last chapter. I'm really worried you won't.

**20BlueRoses**, thank you so much for your review. I'm really sorry, but there isn't any more about Emma's mum. Usually, I would put it in the story just for you, but there isn't really room in this chapter and it's the last one. Perhaps I could write a sequel at some point, though I'm not sure it would work. I'm really happy you feel they're both in character.

* * *

_Here is the last chapter! I'm not completely sure this is the right ending, though the other endings I tried seemed even more wrong. I've changed it about six times! I really hope you don't hate it. Thank you so much for every review, favourite and follow and especially to those of you who have stuck with it for the whole 29 chapters and 60,000 words._

_I'll be starting a new long story about Ethan later today. I really hope you'll read and enjoy that too._

* * *

Cal and Ethan didn't speak for the rest of the evening. Ethan did knock on Cal's door on his way to bed, but Cal ignored him and turned the TV up. Ethan took the hint and went away.

The next morning, Cal stayed in bed, pretending to be asleep. Again, Ethan knocked on the door and this time he came right into the room and told Cal he was going to work. "I know you're awake, Caleb. And I've got a good idea of what you're going to do as soon as I'm gone. But please, just listen to me. £1000 or even £500 is a lot of money. If Emma really loves you, she'll be horrified that you put yourself into even more debt for her. But if you buy her something small…"

Cal snored.

Ethan lost patience. "Oh, for God's sake, just do what you like! I'm going to work."

Cal waited until Ethan had gone. Then he had a shower, got dressed and phoned for a taxi. His car was still at the ED, but Cal doubted he'd driven it even if it had been available. He didn't want to make his injury worse. Proposing with a badly-sprained ankle was painful no matter which knee you used.

Cal knew that because he'd been practising.

* * *

Cal hopped along the ED corridor, trying not to feel embarrassed by his crutches. They didn't go with the image Cal had of himself at all, but there wasn't really any alternative unless he borrowed a wheelchair, and that would be even worse.

"I thought you had the day off," said Lily, almost accusingly. But Cal knew her far too well to take offence.

"I have," he said. "I've come to see my girlfriend."

He smiled at the thought that he would never call her his girlfriend again.

"Which one?" said Lily, but she didn't wait for an answer.

"The only one!" Cal shouted after her.

He passed reception, where Louise was nagging Noel as usual. Noel looked up as he passed and gave Cal a look akin to a plea to be rescued. Cal had things to do, but he could spare a couple of minutes. "Hey, Noel. So how's the ED functioning without me?"

"Oh, very poorly," said Noel. "We can't cope without our Dr Knight. Please get better soon, Cal."

"I should be back tomorrow," said Cal. "Probably not full-time, but I'll be around. Unless I'm too busy celebrating, of course."

"Celebrating what?" said Louise.

Cal smiled. "I'll let you know once it's official. So, what's Noel done wrong this time? Did he use your pen again?"

But exactly what Noel had done, Cal never found out as he found himself accosted by Ethan. "Caleb, tell me you're not going to do it."

"Tell me what you mean and I might answer you," said Cal.

Ethan glanced at Louise, who was listening far too avidly, and lowered his voice. "Can we go to the staff room? I need to talk to you."

"Then you'll have to join the queue," said Cal. "I have a very important meeting with my girlfriend."

He walked away, but Ethan followed him. "Did you get a ring?" he whispered.

Cal nodded and glanced around to check no-one was watching. He took the box out of his pocket. "What do you think? It wasn't even expensive. Only £100. Even you should approve of that."

"It's not very traditional," said Ethan.

Cal shoved the box back in his pocket again. "Well, you would say that, wouldn't you? Join the twenty-first century, Ethan. 'Not traditional' doesn't mean the same as 'not good'. It's a silver ring because her name is Silver and it has a pearl on because that's her birthstone."

"You didn't think of buying it in her favourite colour?" said Ethan.

Cal hesitated for a fraction too long. "Why would I do that?"

Ethan looked at him pityingly. "You don't even know her favourite colour, do you? That's how little you know her. And you're planning on asking her to marry you!"

"Yeah, Nibbles, and you're such an authority on relationships!"

Ethan started to say something but caught himself. "I'm sorry. It is a very nice ring. But Cal, I'm really not sure that asking Emma to marry you is a good idea. How long have you known her? A week?"

"You're the one who said I had to show her how much I love her," said Cal. "And I love her enough to marry her."

"That's… lovely," said Ethan. He saw the look on Cal's face. "I'm not being sarcastic. If Emma's the one, then I really am happy for you. But I don't think there's any need to rush into anything."

"So you think I should just enjoy dating Emma before we get engaged?" said Cal.

Ethan looked like he didn't know what to say.

"You see? You don't know what you're talking about," said Cal. "You're just jealous because I've found someone special and actually done something about it and you never could. Well, that's not my fault, is it? It's not my fault you can't hold a conversation. It's not my fault you won't even try!"

"I'm trying to hold a conversation with you now," said Ethan in a low voice. "I'm trying to tell you something, Caleb. Something Emma's dad said to me."

"Did he tell you Emma was already married? Or any other lawful impediment why we should not be joined together?"

"No, nothing lawful," said Ethan. He closed his eyes for a moment. "I don't want to hurt you, Cal."

"If you don't want to hurt me, stop acting like you don't want me to be happy!" said Cal. "And as for your conversation, I haven't got time for it now. I have the rest of my life to think of. Tell me tomorrow."

Ethan frowned. "Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow," said Cal. "I'm going to be far too busy celebrating tonight!"

He hopped away, leaving Ethan standing there.

* * *

Cal pushed open the door to Emma's room and smiled. "Hey, beautiful. How are you?"

Emma didn't smile. "Hi, Cal."

Cal realised he'd forgotten to ditch his crutches. "Don't worry about these, Emma. I'm just humouring Ethan. There's nothing wrong with me really." He made the effort to walk rather than hop. "How are you?" He bent to kiss her. She didn't kiss back. "What's wrong, baby?" Cal caught her hand. "Are you feeling ill? Is your wrist hurting?"

"No, I'm fine," said Emma. But she didn't look it. With an obvious effort, she said: "I need to tell you something."

Cal sat on the chair beside the bed. "You know you can tell me anything you want to. I love you and I'll always be here."

Tears filled Emma's eyes. "But I won't be here, Cal."

Cal stared at her, then gripped her hand tighter. "Emma, I know you feel sad. You've been through so much and it's going to take you time to recover. But your life is different now. You've got me. You've got your dad. And your mum's going to be locked up in prison. I understand if you still want to die, but things are going to change so please don't give up on life yet." His voice caught.

"No, you don't understand! I didn't mean that," said Emma.

Cal looked at her closely. "Then what do you mean? Why do you look so sad?"

Pain came into Emma's eyes and she looked away from him. "I'm leaving, Cal. I'm leaving Holby. There are too many bad memories here. I've been talking to my dad and we want to start again somewhere new."

Cal squeezed her hand and leaned over to kiss her temple. "That sounds like a great idea."

Emma looked up, startled. "Does it?"

Cal nodded. "It will be much better for you not to be surrounded by bad memories. We can make a fresh start together."

Emma's eyes were wide and staring. "_We_?"

"You and me and your dad," said Cal. She still looked shocked so he gave her a hug. "Emma, you don't seriously think I'd let you go without me, do you? I love you and I'm never going to let you go." He took the box out of his pocket, keeping it concealed in his hand, and dropped to one knee. Then he opened the box and held it out to her. "Emma… will you marry me?"

Emma's eyes filled with tears again. "Oh Cal… I don't know what to say."

Cal was feeling choked up too. "I don't mind what you say as long as it includes yes."

"I… I can't marry you," said Emma.

The words didn't make any sense to Cal at first. He stared at her, trying to understand what she'd said. "…you can't marry me?" His voice was little more than a whisper. "You don't want to marry me?"

Emma's face was sad as she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Cal. You are a lovely man and so kind and I literally wouldn't be here without you. You saved my life so many times. I'm grateful to you and I'm very fond of you and I am attracted to you. If I was staying here, maybe something could have happened. But I can't ask you to give up your whole life for me."

"We can take it slowly," said Cal. "We don't have to get married straight away. We can just be engaged and go on dates. Do you realise we've never actually been on a date?"

Emma's tears began to fall. "I'm sorry, Cal. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't cry: it's okay!" Cal sat on the bed and put his arms around her. "Don't worry. I'm not going to push you into something you're not ready for. As long as we love each other, I'll wait as long as it takes."

"But I don't think I do love you!" sobbed Emma. "Not in that way."

Cal went very still.

"I thought I loved you, Cal. You were the only person in the world who cared about me. Everyone who had loved me had gone and I wasn't even sure if they did love me in the end, except Georgia. I know I'm an awful person, but I just wanted to be loved so much…"

Cal held her tightly as she began to sob. "You're not an awful person, Emma," he said as he tried not to cry. "And you are loved. Your dad loves you and I'm sure he always did. Your friends loved you too. That's why they wanted you to enjoy your birthday." He swallowed. "And I love you."

"I know," wept Emma. "And I treated you so badly."

"You didn't," said Cal. "I'm the one who treated you badly. I told you I'd be there for you no matter what and then I betrayed you."

Emma stared at him. "Betrayed me? With other women?"

"Oh, no, of course not!" Cal was having trouble remembering the last time he'd looked at another woman. "I accused you of killing your friends."

"No, you didn't," said Emma. "You just looked at all the evidence and got it wrong. That's not your fault. I told you things about my friends that weren't true. You found evidence in my file that suggested nothing I said was true."

"But I should have known you better," said Cal.

Emma shook her head. "You hadn't known me long enough to know me better. But you were always kind to me, Cal. Even when you thought I'd killed my friends, you didn't call the police. You gave me the chance to get away."

"And look what you nearly did!" burst out Cal. "Because of me!"

"No, not because of you," said Emma firmly. "Because of my whole life. Because of my mum. My dad. My friends. My job. Not because of the one person who actually loved me. You did nothing wrong, Cal." Her voice trembled. "You did nothing to deserve the way I treated you."

"You didn't do anything wrong," said Cal softly. "Everyone wants to be loved."

He knew that because he wanted it too.

It was hard getting the words out, but Cal knew he had to. "It doesn't matter, Emma. It doesn't matter what you thought you felt or you pretended to feel when you were too confused and lost to know which way up you were. I should never have pushed you into a relationship. You weren't in the right frame of mind for a relationship and it was natural for you to cling to the only person who seemed to love you."

"I never meant to hurt you," said Emma.

"I know you didn't," said Cal. "You were lost and completely alone and I was kind to you. A lot of people in your situation come to the ED and they become attached to the doctors, but it's not real love. It's happened to me before and it'll happen to me again. It's not your fault that on this occasion, I became attached to you too. The important thing – the only important thing - is that you're going to be okay." Cal stroked her hand. "I'm just glad I was able to help you when you needed someone. That's what matters most to me. And if you need any more help with anything while you're here, I'm still your friend and you can still ask me. Don't worry about anything else." He tried to laugh. "I'm a terrible boyfriend anyway."

Emma hugged him. "You're not, Cal. You're the best. Maybe if I was staying in Holby, something could have happened one day, but I don't think I want a relationship now. It's too much. I need to focus on myself and my dad. I need to think about everything. Work through everything."

"And I'm sure you will, Emma. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but you're strong and so's your dad. You've got each other now. And I wish nothing but happiness for both of you." Cal reached for his crutches and stood up. He didn't think he could hold the tears back for much longer. "Okay, um, I'm going to go and… give you some space. But I meant what I said. I love you as a friend and I'm still here for you. If there's anything I can do or if you just want to chat, all you need to do is call me."

"Thank you, Cal," said Emma. "Thank you for everything. And I will call you."

He knew she wouldn't. He'd made and broken the same promise too many times not to realise that. He kissed her softly on the cheek. "Goodbye, Emma."

She hesitated, then kissed him back. "Goodbye, Cal."

Cal turned and hurried out of the room, shutting the door behind him. His eyes were so full of tears, he couldn't see anything, but he recognised the voice that said his name and the arms that held him.

"I'm sorry, Cal," said Ethan. His voice was unsteady. "I know it doesn't help, but I am sorry."

Cal didn't reply. He couldn't. But he realised in the days that followed that even though he didn't have Emma, there was someone in his life who loved him. Someone who would never let him go.


End file.
